ok so....my whole family does not give a shit about me at all...stuck livin at my grandparents hate it here so much....fighting with every one alll the time..im not eatting or sleeping...i lost every single one of my friends i had from all this shit...im doing stupid shit to my self now..and just ?ing life it self now....there is just alot of things happened past 2 years that made this all happen and its all my parents fault... im going down a bad road now it seems like with being depressed and stressed..at times i want to end it but idk its just so much at once its hard to deal with.... like i give up on school not idc about it at all no more
there is just alot....its real hard for me to make friends like so many people dont like me and so many people make fun of me on the way i look and all its just fucked up and al..... i would realy like to get more friends i only have like 4 thats it...and most of them idk if they see me as a friend.... i feel that i failed every1, my self, at life, everything its getting hard to live threw ever day knowing that im a no one no one cares for me i can just drop dead and they wont care my family dont even care for me i have almost no friends nothing to live for i lost alot friends, family , I dont believe in my self at times i just want to end it i been thinking about it more in the past….it will just end this all and i wont need to go threw it any more all this shit is getting to me alot you dont know what it is fully like what i deal with and how i feel all my feelings are messed i dont know what it is like to be happy any more i just dont know how much i can take i dont know how much longer i will be around i just dont know what to do any more i always feel like shit im like all over the place wit this one i just feel like it is the best to end it i dont know what it is that just makes me keep going to live for a nother day im trying to pick my life up and put it back together but its hard i just need to get away from all family and just never see or talk to the at all ever again but cant do that till im 18.... i want to know what feeling happy is like again want the feeling to be cared and loved for i want to have friends but its hard who would be friends wit me wile im like this and all….no one would that’s y I lost most of what friends I had…..
i just want to have this all over i cant take it any more and there is 2 ways for it to be over wait till im 18 and just leave or just end it... my list for ending it is getting bigger then no ending it so i dont know....
i dont want to live here any more its sucks so much they make my life worse then it is they bitch and fight about everything and im always in a real low mood here... that’s y I ask u a lot to do things to get me away from here and all
i been trying to pick my life up and put to together but its just not working at all im trying to make things better but its not working im tired of all the shit im tired of people think im doing this ia a cry for attention but its all real i know its real from i go threw it day by day and i hope you think im not lieing to you or making this up because im not....
i been regretting so much stuff and thinking about alot in the past month and its getting to me.... i been thinking of dropping out of school i cant do nothing with out thinking about whats going on you can take 1 look at me and you can tell some thing is wrong... i regret getting a tattoo i got to get back at my family i do not want it at all no more it is not me at all and i dont like it at all no more...
i dont know what to do any more about this at all i just want out but this is not no game you can quit this is real and everthing i chose to do will lead to what goes on


but yeah there is just alot more to this im just so lost....

I got lost in your jumbled "paragraph"

Anyway, I don't have any room to speak. I feel like you do man, my sister is such a god damn perfect child, and I try but I fail...

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"I'd show you the marks, but I don't want to pull my pants down right now..." Tallahassee Pain. (T Pizzle)

yeah i know its so ez to get lost in that when i get in this mood hard to understand me im all over the place

dude, don't end it, please. you need to find a reason to live, you need to have a desire towards glory. you need to find something you have a passion for and pursue it, no matter what anyone says. i was looking at your pictures and you look like you would make a good runner. maybe you should try track? if not that, do something, something that will make you feel like you have meaning in this world. it may not feel like it now, but you are important and someday someone will need you.

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My Blog --- http://gatlinock.blogspot.com/
Last Updated: Sunday, November 29, 2009

Dude I /agree with Gatinlock, you should run or something. You have to find something to strive for and focus on.

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"I'd show you the marks, but I don't want to pull my pants down right now..." Tallahassee Pain. (T Pizzle)

I just really don't know my life if just a huge mess. I'm gated by every one in my familey lost all my friends and I dropped out of school 2 weeks ago. Nothing is going good at all always pissed off and the things I use to like doing I hate now.
I'm sick and tired of this…

I felt the same but don't feel down. I hate the people of Sikkim with every fiber in my body and I cannot stop hating them. I just hate them but hey I am getting out of this hell someday so not a problem.

Just hold on and your dreams will take you away.

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War is all I ever know.

no no no, you can't drop-out you should go back and finish school dude. trust me.

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My Blog --- http://gatlinock.blogspot.com/
Last Updated: Sunday, November 29, 2009

its to late for the whole school thing

Hey there

My friend, it sounds like you've really hit rock bottom, I'm just going to be blunt. However, the good thing about that is, there's no way but up from here. You can change what you're going through, I promise you this. A good point I see is that you chose to come here for help; that means you're not totally enthralled with taking your life. This is a very positive thing. You came to a good place, because there's an entire team of people on here that dedicate a little chunk of their time to helping people. Sorry we weren't able to answer you sooner though, our numbers are a few at the moment.

First of all, you really need to focus on school at this point. I can't emphasize this enough. Why? You said about wanting, needing to get out of your house when you turn 18. I can tell you it's very hard to do that without an education and that diploma. Getting a GED just isn't the same thing these days. People look for that diploma. I know how hard it can be to go to school depressed and try to get good grades, because I've gone through it myself. It's a bitch to be perfectly honest. You have to make it through that struggle though and shine. At the very least graduate, you don't have to be valedictorian. You just need that piece of paper.

Also, you say about people not liking you, but this is also something that you really can change. I used to be unlikeable and weird a few years back, but I got to the point where I'm very sociable and friendly. That's all it really takes to make friends, is to be friendly. I've also found that taking up new hobbies helps because then you can have something that you can relate to people with. Or, something to do when you decide to hang out. The possibilities are endless, and I know it can be hard to grasp on to these possibilities when you're depressed. It puts a damper on everything that you want to do by making it a hundred times more difficult for you.

I know what depression is like, and I know what rock bottom is like as well. I'm a survivor though, and you can be too. It's hard, yes, extremely hard, but you can fight this.

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If you're interested in helping out, send me a PM