Bare with me for the length.

My name is Brad, and I have just recently joined Teenhut. Lately a couple personal things have been affecting my private behavior.

I am deeply depressed. I haven't revealed this to anyone, nor has anyone caught on, mostly because I have a very positive "social self". It's more of an act, if you want to call it that. My mood comes off as being happy and positive about life, but people know little of what lies underneath my image.

To start off, I am in a committed relationship with the girl of my dreams for almost 11 months now. She has motivated me to be a better person then I could have ever dreamed and provides a sort of happiness in my life. However, video games with friends have began to take over my entire life. Nobody knows it; Most people even associate me into the "jock" stereotype. But it is an addiction.

Day upon day, I come home from school, to do what????

I sit on the computer for hours when I could be going to the gym, or doing homework to keep my grades high, or something else productive. I feel like video games have made me someone I don't want to be. Lately, I have also been acting "cocky", and I believe it is in part to the trash talk most people use when playing games.

To conclude, I just want to be a better individual for my girlfriend, and for that reason, I have QUIT gaming. It deleted everything I ever had achieved on every game that took me ages to accomplish. I'm sure it will feel good in the future, but for the time being, it feels like a hole has been punched through my chest and I feel empty. I think it is because of my reliance on games to escape reality? Maybe it is withdrawal symptoms?

If anyone has experience about this, or suggestions, or comments, or anything. I would appreciate every word. Thanks for reading.

Hello Brad, welcome to teenhut and I am glad you are using these forums for their true value. Coming and seeking help, or assistance, is sincerely the first step to a brighter future.

The first thing, as I am sure others will mention, is to talk to someone about it through face-to-face interaction. To hide something is to go no where, if you truly wish to feel this way, keep hiding it. But, something tells me you may wish to change, I mean, you are here for a reason; to seek change, and this is the second step -- telling somebody. Though you are telling us, we normally seek help from strangers who aren't able to judge us or tell those who know us in fear of our 'image being broken'.

To connect a bridge with you, I also had this problem. I played many video games and it felt as if I destroyed my social self. However, do not confuse playing video games with "Not having a life." Life is subjective, one might consider video games as 'not having a life' just as much as a video gamer may proclaim 'meatheads' not having lives for dedicating so much time in the gym. I am both, coincidentally.

However, it seems you have analyzed this for quite some time and I am glad to see you have formulated a source which may lead to your particular saddness -- video games.

Furthermore, have you spoken to your girlfriend about this situation? From your snyopsis, I am gathering that you might not even be depressed, but rather 'sad'. Sad is not depression, it is completely different. I quit gaming for a time, but I didn't have to delete all my items to do so. You may feel empty because you spent all that time working for something you deleted, which possibly could make you feel as if you wasted that time. However, I think you made the right step and I actually think this situation will solve itself, but don't be distant from your lover -- inform her of everything so she can HELP you, believe me, it'll help tenfold.

What have you been up to lately? Have you found a different outlet?

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I'm glad to see another point-of-view and it comforts me knowing of your situation.

When it comes to sadness and depression, I partially do agree with you. However, the sadness has been steady for the past month or so. I used to play games without thinking anything bad about my social life. "Not having a life" is a term I didn't favor much either. Me, being addicted to video games, as well as being athletic, am aware of "both sides of the bridge." I've only recently acknowledged what this has been doing to my ideal social life; The life I led before the addiction began.

I feel somewhat better with an outlet as this. I have faced a mild depression before in my earlier teen years, though it was nothing too extreme----more of a pressured sadness if you want to classify it. Back to the topic, I have the urge to tell my girlfriend, and being as close as we are, she would support me wholeheartedly. You see, it is not the video games that are the problem, it is the addiction. Without them, I am completely satisfied with my social life, however, I feel this urge [like a psychological gravitational pull] towards going back to gaming. That is in fact what I am fighting.

I'll take your advice into consideration. I'm still feeling sad [or depressed] whichever the case at the present moment, but hopefully it will subside after a much needed conversation between her and I.

I can't thank you enough.

I am a mere stranger over the computer, when you get the motivation from the girl of your dreams, that will be your 'psychological gravitational-pull', as you nicely coined it. You seem like a good guy who truly cares for his woman, how would you feel if something was bothering her and she told you nothing? It would hurt, you know as do I, because you feel as the man in the relationship, it is your obligation to make her happy. That is her obligation as well; making you happy. Let her do what is right and trust her rationality in doing so, it should help given the confidence you speak of her.

Though the addiction is the problem, the source is as well. The both are directly correlated, don't underestimate it's power. Once you control your habit, you can moderately control your gaming hours -- I do. You seem like a man with rhetoric and I think this honestly will work itself out, especially with your girlfriend on the same side as you. Let her know you love her while you're at it.

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OH DEAR GOD YOU QUIT GAMING?

to be honest i use it as an escape from the real world.. [perfect world really is a perfect world]

so i know what you mean.. i got banned = major depression /w no outlet... v.v

and in the future, im sure ull be happy..
when people like me are level 138 on RS and have 5million gamer score on Xbox, and you have a PHD, im sure you'll be happier.

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rep me! Always hear to help!
This world is one of sadness. happiness fades in time, but Sorrow is eternal and everlasting within this world of darkness... My M.S.N. shadow.corp@hotmail.com

Partaking in a sport is always a good idea. Something fun, productive, and you meet people. I used to play games 24/7 but started playing table tennis (awesome!)
If you are into something you really like (apart from gaming) you will not feel the urge to keep drifting towards your computer/gaming console.

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Immortality is fun until your sun decides to supernova

And you can also meet many sexy & open-minded gay, lesbian, bisexual at (B i M i n g l e .c om) also couples who would love to explore life as this is the right life style you all love.