So I'm visiting my family for 3 weeks, coz my Auntie died 6 months ago and we came to help out over christmas. Also my grandparents are super sick at the moment. Anyway we got here not expecting a holiday, just lots of work helping everyone, and it was so much worse than we thought. My grandma is slapping my granddad, he had Alzheimers and keeps forgetting my name and stuff. My uncle is depressed because his wife died recently (my auntie who I mentioned before) and everyone is kind of scared my grandparents are going to get in a huge fight and my grandma is going to take a knife to him (it sounds like I'm joking but they are seriously hating each other every minute of everyday) my mum is crying all night, my dad is smoking so much more from stress and I just want to break down. Its the worst time ever and I don't know how to help, my mum won't let me go to my grandparents without checking on them first, she can't leave them alone for over an hour, so I can't even get her out of the house for a while. And I feel like shit because I'm wishing my grandparents were dead so everyone can just get better and move on, I feel so mean wanting that and hating them. But they are just so nasty, hitting each other, throwing things at my family. We have a meeting with social services after christmas but I'm not sure what we are going to do. Its so stressful, I'm hating every moment and feeling guilty as hell.

__________________
Now we own the night, and it can't be undone,
We'll never forget how it feels to be young,
Cos it will be forever mine, Cos it will be forever yours

That Sucks, and I'm sorry for your loss..

This maybe a bit hursh in all.. But wouldn't it be better if your granddad would be in a home?
Purely the fact.. He will be safe there, and your nan won't be as stress as much..
She's properly doing that because shes up-set and also stressed the fact that her husband use to remember things etc.. and now he is just disappearing, have you spoke to your nan in how she feels?

xx

And he can't do things for her anymore, she resents that. We are trying, but then she gets what she wants which is the house to herself.

__________________
Now we own the night, and it can't be undone,
We'll never forget how it feels to be young,
Cos it will be forever mine, Cos it will be forever yours

*hugs*

Well, for what it's worth, I'm sorry for your loss, and I've been in a very similar situation.

What I would suggest is either call the cops the next time your grandparents get into a fight or just say 'fuck it' and let them go at it. I understand they're family so you feel obligated to help them, but if they wanna fight, there's not gonna be any stopping them.

Alternatively, (and less mean, since my initial reaction to anything is always harsh) have y'all considered mentioning to your grandmother about putting her husband in a home? That might be best for everyone. He could get the care he needs, she could have the house to herself like she wants, and their fighting would stop causing problems for everyone.

~Maggot

__________________
Oh! why is phrensy called a curse?
I deem the sense of misery worse:
Come, Madness, come!

She wants to put him in a home, but the thing is, he doesn't really need it, he could manage great by himself.
And I'm totally all for just saying "fuck it" when they next get in a fight.. TO be honest I'm more upset by the way its affecting my close family.

__________________
Now we own the night, and it can't be undone,
We'll never forget how it feels to be young,
Cos it will be forever mine, Cos it will be forever yours

Divorce then? Or a retirement community rather than a home? The simplest way to fix it is just separate them, and I'm sure there's a way.

~Maggot

__________________
Oh! why is phrensy called a curse?
I deem the sense of misery worse:
Come, Madness, come!

They are 80 nearly 90 They are already in a retirement community.. I think we are going to send Granddad to a home, leave Grandma for a while, then send her to a different one, or maybe the same but separate rooms or something, so they see each other, but aren't in the same kinda environment by themselves

__________________
Now we own the night, and it can't be undone,
We'll never forget how it feels to be young,
Cos it will be forever mine, Cos it will be forever yours

Or you could just poison them both with bloodthinners.

~Maggot

__________________
Oh! why is phrensy called a curse?
I deem the sense of misery worse:
Come, Madness, come!

Im thinking I should... Cousins went over today and finally saw how awful it is, we went to the main house that runs the retirement community and talked to them about it, because we decided that technically it is abuse and it needs to be dealt with.

__________________
Now we own the night, and it can't be undone,
We'll never forget how it feels to be young,
Cos it will be forever mine, Cos it will be forever yours