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Old 06-20-2012, 11:52 AM   #1
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Question Trouble being social.

I figured i'd come right out with it before anyone else called me a faggot. >_>

I've had a strange life, and been pretty isolated for most of it. My personality now is extremely serious.. it's not that I don't know how to laugh/have fun, I just prefer to focus on ways I can improve my life or the lives of other people.

I have trouble coming up with things to talk about, but i'm working on that part. I've found taking it easy gives you more topics for small talk, but that takes some practice. So a lot of times I just stop talking when someone approaches me.. i'd like to talk to them, but I don't want to scare them or hurt them by being my serious self, i dunno.

So like, what do people do when they're feeling serious but someone wants to just talk with them?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Now for a slightly more negative side to my issue.

When I try and make small-talk it seems like people are either weirded out or downright offended. Like a serious (but friendly) person is not something they want to be around.

Conversely, a lot of what seems 'normal' to them offends or just bores me, like exchanging insults (as friends, i think?) or making jokes criticizing something.. it just seems so negative to me. It doesn't offend me as in , but more like "why would i want to be around you at all?"

What about this kind of socializing is fun or enjoyable? And (hoping to go soon) how can I get through college.. making even just a few friends.. without becoming isolated or pissing everyone off by not engaging in, or speaking out against, this behavior?

Long, but thanks if you read it. Even feel a little less confused about human behavior just typing it out.
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Old 06-20-2012, 12:12 PM   #2
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Re: Trouble being social.

Chill the fuck out.
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Old 06-20-2012, 12:27 PM   #3
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Re: Trouble being social.

I'll take that feedback, but for some perspective..

I was calm writing that out and I usually remain calm even in the situations I described. I just wanted some advice on 'fitting in' with more typical people, I guess, while still keeping my identity.

I do have a backbone, i'll never change my beliefs for the sake of this. I just can't believe there's no way to reconcile the person I am with the person society expects from me, or men, or whatever I seem like to them.
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Old 06-20-2012, 12:27 PM   #4
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Re: Trouble being social.

If you ask yourself why you want to be around them, then don't be around them. Find people more like you and you'll be more relaxed around them.
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Old 06-20-2012, 08:26 PM   #5
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Re: Trouble being social.

Also, being "chill" and being "calm" are not the same thing.

The colloquialism of "chill" isn't just remaining calm. Its more of a zen-like calmness where you sit back, relax and allow the universe to just take its course.

If your true personality doesn't align with the perceived personalities of the people around you, NO BIGGIE.

Find new friends or just dig a bit deeper.

Don't expect to find anything or anyone of value, on the surface.
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Old 06-20-2012, 08:43 PM   #6
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Re: Trouble being social.

Indeed you should try to be around ppl by who you feel comfortable with and ye just be yourself. Sure you can joke around with friends thats what makes conversations a bit more fun ofcourse. Just react and talk about what comes up into your mind, try to mix yourself into conversations when others are having them.

I'm not much of a talker myself but I always try to talk with anyone about random stuff or making jokes about anything thats just what it makes it in general more fun.
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Old 06-20-2012, 08:45 PM   #7
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Re: Trouble being social.

That's a good point, Ish. I do tend to give up easily before I get past that surface personality.

Thank you.

*meditates*
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Old 06-23-2012, 01:51 PM   #8
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Re: Trouble being social.

I still want to know what people find enjoyable about more banal conversation. Like:

1"Hey faggot"
2"lol sup dick"
1"I hate you"

Exaggerating, but you get my point. I hope. =P
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Old 06-23-2012, 10:44 PM   #9
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Re: Trouble being social.

im not like everyone else. im actually really weird compared to everyone else, but im funny so people like me. you just need to learn to not care as much about what everyone thinks of you. chill out and let the conversation flow by itself, instead of panicking about what you are going to say next. and as far as you being overly serious, i mean, some people just have different sense of humors. no biggie, honestly. just know that nothing in life is ever that important, just chill out and you'll find that life itself is a lot easier to handle.

---------- Post added at 09:44 PM ---------- Previous post was at 09:35 PM ----------

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ben Venomous View Post
I still want to know what people find enjoyable about more banal conversation. Like:

1"Hey faggot"
2"lol sup dick"
1"I hate you"

Exaggerating, but you get my point. I hope. =P
it's just kind of funny to be honest haha. i always call my friend, stephanie a fatass because she's insecure when she shouldn't be. she knows that i don't mean it, and she knows that she should just get over it because now im making fun of the fact that she's not actually a fatass.

idk, it's weird because i do this all the time but can't come up with any reasoning as to why i do it. like, all the cheerleaders and dance line girls that are supposed to be super popular i always greet with a "hey ugly." i just think it's ironic, and maybe that's why it's funny. i don't know. that's all i can come up with.

also, one of my friends, he's a really cocky jock type of guy, and he wants to be a lawyer n stuff. every time he gets a little cocky, and is seriously trying to make fun of someone, i make fun of him back and put him in his place. i mean, after you call him a "Mr. I want to be a lawyer so i slick my hair back like a cheese dick" he laughs it off and knows he's being a stupid cunt.

wanted to give some examples as to why it might be funny. hope it helps hahahha.
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Old 06-26-2012, 11:54 AM   #10
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Re: Trouble being social.

Lmao, you sound like a normal male. I know its hard communicating with the abnormal male species, but i'm sure in college you'll find some friends who think the same way you do.

Seriously just dont overthink things dude, if you find it annoying, repulsive, or even uncomfortable talking to people who make humanity look completely stupid, then dont talk to them and make friends around your own knowledge level and not 12 year old level.

I totally get it about the whole "serious attitude" thing, its not that you have a serious attitude, you're just more mature then most guys your age. You dont find humor in the incredibly stupid things that they find funny, its rare to find a mature guy anymore, keep it up! Dont change, you're great
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Old 10-07-2012, 04:00 AM   #11
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Re: Trouble being social.

Now many people spend more time in the internet and that's prefer to use a different types of social site. A many user are facing a trouble to use his social site. Facebook, Linked In and MySpace. Twitter, Some of the company websites that are available are inclined in the direction of economic communal media.

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Old 10-07-2012, 08:14 AM   #12
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Re: Trouble being social.

just try not to be shy
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Old 10-15-2012, 03:16 AM   #13
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Re: Trouble being social.

your thread is really very good and I appreciate it. You gave so nice info which is very well and amazing. I really impressed by your thread.
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Old 10-31-2012, 02:07 PM   #14
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Re: Trouble being social.

Why do some people have trouble being social when they are humans themselves?
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