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Old 07-15-2012, 07:45 AM   #1
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Unhappy Can't continue through Hell. We don't aways get lucky..

-Sigh- Where do I even begin?..

I'm truly hoping someone out there will read this post and reach out because sometimes I don't know how I even manage in this family. I'm hoping someone out there will understand or just say they've been where I am. Sometimes I get so angry or lost that I cry.

I live in a household where my dad is an alcoholic. He drinks from 9 AM until he passes out later in the evening. My mom is mad about everything in life so I never know when I'll catch her in a good mood. Sometimes the littlest comment will set either of them off and you'll wish you didn't live here.

This past year I've spent more time with my friends now that they have their own apartment. This is the first time since I've been alive that my parents have known me to be out so much. I'm seventeen, 2 months from my 18th birthday. I never want to be home but I come home at proper hours unless I sleep over and even then I never spen more than 2 nights because I want to be respectful of my parents. I don't even hav respect for them. The part they don't know about my "friend's apartment" is that my boyfriend lives there. We have been together for almost 4 years and they don't know that part. They do however know him and are very accepting of who he is. My mom even let it slip that she would like to see me marry him one day..

My parents don't want to see me go anytime soon. My mom is always coming to me with her plans to have me stay living in my bedroom through college and into my career so I can help their financial instability and keep her from bring alone with my dad. I make myself sick sometimes because of how much unhappiness I have from living here.

They want me to stay as long as I can that they avoid allowing me to hav a drivers license until I'm 18 and refuse to let me finish my TWO credits of High School over the summer. I'll have to go through an entire year of school if I stay living with them.

However, in 2 months this won't matter to me anymore. I'll be moving with my boyfriend. In all honesty I'll be better off because the living conditions are significantly better. I know that I'll go through hell with my parents but aren't I more important?
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Old 07-15-2012, 08:56 AM   #2
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Re: Can't continue through Hell. We don't aways get lucky..

sorry
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Old 07-15-2012, 08:57 AM   #3
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Re: Can't continue through Hell. We don't aways get lucky..

It sounds like your mom does care about you, despite her own anger issues. Maybe even to the point of worrying about you.
However, you feel that you'll be happier with your boyfriend, and I think it's a good idea to move in with him. I understand how you feel about having an unstable family, and I'd like to move out as well. It'll probably be best to discuss your plans with your parents, as well.
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Old 07-15-2012, 10:22 AM   #4
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Re: Can't continue through Hell. We don't aways get lucky..

You're 17 years old, nearly 18, they CAN'T be telling you what to do. Why don't you move in with your boyfriend? They can't tell you not to. I'm assuming that speaking to them about it would be extremely difficult, maybe get some counselling or whatever it is you get in those situations.
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Old 07-15-2012, 10:53 AM   #5
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Re: Can't continue through Hell. We don't aways get lucky..

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Originally Posted by michaelged View Post
You're 17 years old, nearly 18, they CAN'T be telling you what to do. Why don't you move in with your boyfriend? They can't tell you not to. I'm assuming that speaking to them about it would be extremely difficult, maybe get some counselling or whatever it is you get in those situations.
You're right about them not being able to hold me down or make me play by their rules, but I still get the feeling that until I make the move on my own to move away and do things for myself then they'll treat me as their innocent child. I understand that, they're parents after all.. But, just the other day my mom told me she didn't want me in the car without the doors locked because that's illegal to leave children in cars that way. My parents actually drink beer and hang around teenagers I go to school with, kids that get into things I don't have any part of and my mom is worrying about me locking myself in the car while she runs in the gas station.

Just like you said Hipster, my mom cares about me and will probably always think of me as her baby. I am her last child to grow up anyhow. She and my dad keep talking about how I'll be an adult soon, but they also don't acknowledge that I'm not going to be around forever to clean house for them or be waiting when they get off work.

Last edited by Knocturne; 07-15-2012 at 10:54 AM.. Reason: Typos
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Old 07-17-2012, 02:07 PM   #6
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Re: Can't continue through Hell. We don't aways get lucky..

Hey, similar situation here!, well, kinda...

I'm 17 and moved out of my mum's place just over a year ago, and it has been the BEST thing I have EVER done, but the only way it was possible was through tricking my Mum into beleiving that I was only going to be staying at a family members place for 2 weeks... there was so many threats and manipulation on her part previously, she was unwell, as in she never has looked after herself properly with diabetes and life in general.. she knew there was something wrong with the way myself and 13 year old sister and 23 year old autistic brother were 'looked after'. "Don't say that at school", "oh, make sure no one sees that or..." continuously occured durring my childhood and early teens... lets just put it this way, trust me, it was dreadful living there for so many reasons... Iwasn't really able to sustain any type offriendships bcozof it, and my Mum also is paranoid about control and 'safety', not even could I go down the next ile while shopping without my Mum being able to see me... in case I get raped, murderedand etc... and with my Mum she didn't want me to start driving till I'm 25!!!, as she said that apparently your brain doesn't stop developing untill then -_-
I now live with my cousin, his gf, and two other ppl in a shared house, which has been pretty good the last 6 months

anyway, enough about me... :P ...I think you obviously want to live with your boyfriend, and have good reasons why to leave, but just concerned how to break it to your parents and what shall happen after that, so your wanting to wait untill your 18, which I can understand. If living there really is as bad as you describe, I say just go, why should you continue to suffer durring those 2 months? and also knowing at the same time that you have this ideal life in mind with your bf, making it harder on yourself. The fact that your parents are your guardians untill your 18 doesn't really mean much, trust me. Whats so good about being 18? what do you think will really change between now and then if you choose to stay with your parents durring the 2 months? About your parents, who really cares what they think initially, they've treated you so badly and have had so much time to try and change there ways to help benifit you. You can be so much better of, by the sounds of it, if you just leave, your gonna leave when your 18 anyway right? thats only 2 months!


Anyway, goodluck! hope it all works out! x
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Old 07-19-2012, 08:13 AM   #7
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Re: Can't continue through Hell. We don't aways get lucky..

Yeah not much can be done about them obviously. They're gonna keep being how they are now. But in a few months you won't have to deal with it. Move out. Get your license. Finish your credits. You're totally gonna be a lot happier, and that's all that matters. Look out for you. Cause they aren't...
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Old 07-19-2012, 09:09 PM   #8
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Re: Can't continue through Hell. We don't aways get lucky..

Flutterfly, many things you said resonated with me. For a while now I've just wanted to talk to someone who has the same trouble as me. I would have left at 17, but he and I weren't very positive what the Florida police would do if my parents reported me as a missing person in Texas and they found me in Florida.

You and I seem to have been/currently going through similar events. After you left, did your mom stay angry with you for a while? I fear my parents will stay angry with me a long time, holding a grudge because my brother is 26, left when he was 12 because of my parents behavior. My mo is still hurt and upset with my brother for it because now he has his own children and we barely see them due to financial problems. My mom talks as though she'll be depressed and lost with me gone. She will be left to handle my bipolar dad all on her own. I think it's wrong to have your children feel guilty about leaving home for stubborn reasons, especially when home life isn't very healthy.

---------- Post added at 09:39 AM ---------- Previous post was at 09:36 AM ----------

Quote:
Originally Posted by adamalv1215 View Post
Yeah not much can be done about them obviously. They're gonna keep being how they are now. But in a few months you won't have to deal with it. Move out. Get your license. Finish your credits. You're totally gonna be a lot happier, and that's all that matters. Look out for you. Cause they aren't...
You're right. I will be much happier and that's what I'll tell my parents when I'm gone..
However, even though my mom has her moments and I know or certain I hate bing here, I'll be sad about leaving her. I know that once I'm gone things will fall into place and I'll be better off.
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