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Old 08-21-2012, 05:14 AM   #1
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need advice, asap

I'm not sure if this is the right section. If it isn't, I have no intentions on breaking any of the forum rules here

I just lost my best friend(he didn't die) today.

I'm 15. We've been friends since I was 11 years old. The first year was amazing.... we'd talk everyday, but ever since that first year has been hell. He's done so much to me

He would always act like an asshole to me most of the time. Whenever I tried to bring up a problem to him(it wasn't often), he'd get a attitude with me and have a huge fit

Not only that, recently, he lied to me too. I don't feel like explaining the situation, but he basically blamed one of my good friends to try to save himself even though he was the culprit the entire time.

We argued alot........ until today. I cut off the friendship. I can stand about anything except lying. I hate it so much. My base on loving someone is trust, and he destroyed my trust when he lied to me

I feel like I've been played. I've done so much for him. I've gotten him $45 for his birthday, I've gotten him unsuspended, I've even done his homework for him and he's never done anything in return for me, ever.

I really did, still (sort of) do love him alot but he doesn't care. A time when we were arguing he said 'bye faggot'(i'm gay btw).

he says he cares but action says another thing................ today when i cut off our friendship, all he said was bye, even after I said I'd miss him lol

i really want another best friend, i just dread the thought of it taking so long. I don't like being lonely. He was the primary person I talked to........... I'm really a nice guy. I can be bitchy at times but I care about people alot and it just kills me on the inside someone took my trust and love and turned it upside down

any advice on how to cope with this/and the wait?
if it helps anyone's reply, he's also straight.

Last edited by massacre; 08-21-2012 at 05:16 AM..
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Old 08-21-2012, 07:46 AM   #2
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Re: need advice, asap

I don't know if it has anything to do with you being gay, but remember that you dragged this friendship on for quite a long time when you really shouldn't have. You said only the first year was good, why bother trying for more friendship? It's painful to lose a friend, but remember that there are much better friends to be made.
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Old 08-22-2012, 08:31 AM   #3
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Re: need advice, asap

That's a really sad story and I am sorry you had to go through that... It sounds like he has a lot of growing up to do and didn't appreciate your friendship. Its gonna suck and hurt for a while, but it'll be much better without him in the future. In a way, this could be a blessing in disguise. Instead of wasting your time being a good friend to him, it'll open up the platform for you to meet new people you can be friends with. Good friends that won't take advantage of you and will actually like you for you.
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Old 08-22-2012, 12:21 PM   #4
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Re: need advice, asap

Whatever you will decide to do, just don't try to befriend him again. now you're really mad at him, but maybe in a few days/weeks you'll start missing him and selectively remember only the good times you had with him. even then don't even consider talk to him again. he sounds like a real asshole and there's a good chance that he'll never stop taking advantage of people. possibly it will take you a lot of time to find new friends and you'll feel very lonely in near future, but it's much better than hanging out with that piece of shit.
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Old 08-23-2012, 03:06 AM   #5
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Re: need advice, asap

I have had nearly the same problem with one of my friends(old friend, thankfully)! He would constantly use me as a last-resort friend when he knew I saw him as a best friend, it was more of a one way friendship:/

The best thing I can say is just to stick to your guns, don't go back because that will tell him that you're easily broken, and he'll walk all over you:/
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Old 08-29-2012, 08:54 PM   #6
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Re: need advice, asap

Wow, I can't believe I found a thread that relates SO MUCH to my situation. I have this exact kind of friend. I have always looked at him as a best friend, a brother even maybe! And he manipulated me, lied to me, took advantage of me, used me, hurt me, and he STILL doesn't care.

I have been dealing with him for 3 years and like someone said earlier, it's our fault. We have been dragging this friendship for longer than we should've.

I cut him out of my life recently and it has done me so much good. Because honestly? While you probably expect him to step up and suddenly be the kind of person that you have been for him all those years, trust me--he will never be as good of a friend as you've been.

Best of luck. PM me if you need anything I'm here for ya
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Old 09-03-2012, 11:28 AM   #7
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Re: need advice, asap

thanks for the replies everyone, it means alot

my issue is not being with him, it's just I hate being alone... that's what's killing me on the inside and I don't tend to get that attached to people that fast either

he was the main person I talked to and to go from talking to from almost everyday to little talk among other friends is just a drastic change and me thinking that someone actually cares for me out there...

those 2 things are gone now and i just dread the thought of how long it's going to take. i dont even know where to start
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Old 09-04-2012, 03:48 PM   #8
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Re: need advice, asap

I have had nearly the same issue with one of my friends(old buddy, thankfully)! He would continually use me as a last-resort buddy when he observed I saw him as a best buddy, it was more of a one way friendship:/
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Old 09-12-2012, 06:31 PM   #9
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Re: need advice, asap

I am agreed with RDFC you will choose to do, just don't try to make buddies with him again. now you're really mad at him, but maybe in a few days/weeks you'll begin losing him and perfectly keep in ideas only the entertainment you had with him. even then don't even consider discuss to him again. he seems to be like a actual butt and there's a amazing possibility that he will never quit suffering from individuals. probably it will take you many your energy and energy to discover new buddies and you'll experience very alone in near upcoming, but it's much better than having out with that item of trash
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Old 09-15-2012, 02:09 AM   #10
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Re: need advice, asap

Quote:
Originally Posted by massacre View Post
he was the main person I talked to and to go from talking to from almost everyday to little talk among other friends is just a drastic change and me thinking that someone actually cares for me out there...

those 2 things are gone now and i just dread the thought of how long it's going to take. i dont even know where to start
Yeah that's the hardest part. Really though, if the dude was that much of a jerk, he caused you more problems than anything else. Being someone to "talk to" isn't exactly a the greatest reason to keep someone around. You can talk to walls all you want. At least they don't treat you like shit. So you did the right thing. If you have any other friends, try hanging out with them to get your mind off it.
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Old 09-18-2012, 01:47 PM   #11
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Re: need advice, asap

you got lots of advice's ...
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Old 09-18-2012, 06:35 PM   #12
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Re: need advice, asap

I went through the same, I trusted a bunch of people who I thought were my friends. I did everything for them, got nothing in return. Turns out everyday when I left for class, they'd talk about me behind my back.

Its so awful to trust someone then find out they hate you, it crushes you. Thats why I find it hard trusting people.
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