i'm just going to whinge about my dad for a bit then you can give me your thoughts and if you have the same problems..

he works away quite a lot (he's a contractor) so he comes back here every weekend meaning he drives for about 4 hours every weekend to come back here, now i know people are probably thinking wow he must love you and want to see you a lot, but it gets too much i don't want to be with him every weekend he's VERY controlling and always gets his way, so i've told him i don't want to be round your house every weekend (when i'm at his house i'm kept almost like a prisoner not allowed to sleep at my mates and only allowed out once every often to the cinema or whatever if i object he kicks up a fuss and a major arguement happens-i cannot be arsed with all that stress) and so when i told him this he uses the excuse well i've driven all this way and you don't want to see me!? it costs me 4o pounds every time i travel back i don't do it for nothing etc, so i'm like well i never ask you to! it's like he makes me feel guilty if one weekend i don't want to see him.

Also he views the extremeties of everything! he thinks that because he doesn't see me doing my homework all the time that i must be failing at school and he fears i'll end up working in a supermarket- well thanks very much! i do quite well at school actually

i'm just sick of him, we went on holiday in the summer and i met some people around my age , there was this huuugee thunderstorm on the beach so it looked dead pretty and amazing and it was at night so everyone was down there and he wouldn't let me be on my own because there were guys there-and we all know guys will rape a girl! and everything else. So anyway this night i got a bit drunk with the people i met i hid it from him quite well, but i came in at 2am (this was in the hotel because it was all inclusive so it wasn't on the street or anything) he shouted at me for coming upto the room at 2am he was all like "your 15! and you come up at 2am! people your age don't do this!" even though a couple of hours before in the bar he had told me i could have a couple more hours to stay up, but he's so old fashioned and has traditional views he doesn't get it at all! , so we had a bit of a screaming match and he hit me, i don't think i'll ever forgive him, you see the thing is when he gets angry he gets violent too, which i hate and which is why i try never to cause an arguemnt with him but sometimes it all just builds up.

i dred the day i get married because i think i'd like to my step-dad to give me away-he's supported me my whole life even through tough times and he's been more of a dad to me than my real dad, but i can see it now that my dad will kick up a BIG fuss if i don't let him and they'll be huge family arguemnts, i'd rather my step-dad give me away too because i know that if i chose my dad by step-dad would be very upset but he would be okay with it because he'd know it's what i wanted but if i chose my step-dad my dad would be furious and woulddn't be happy even though it would be what i wanted

so basically i'm sick of my dad i've had it upto here with him sometimes i can't even look in his eyes or hug him because i actually hate him, but i just go along with the stuff he wants because i can't be botherd with the hassle and when i'm 17/18 i shouldn't hav to put up with him that much, he needs to learn that i need a life too , because he "allows" me one weekend a month at my mums now, it's ridiculous i should be telling him when i want to see him not the other way round.

sorry about the long post there's loads more i could say but i think i've ranted enough.

First of all *hugs*
Second, you haven't got long to go now before you can leave home, and if you don't want to, don't put up with any of his BS. Just don't be there when he comes home, and if he hit you and you hate him that much, report him.
Good Luck x

Hello,

I suggest that you sit down with your dad and communicate with him on why you are feeling this way. He might not be having the greatest day and you need to respect his feeling as we would yours. If you get to know him and his emotions for you, you'll know what to expect and how to deal with this after you calm down and ready to reason with him. If he is being violent toward you, that is the wrong path to let yourself mature by. If he is hitting you and is going across the line of discipline, then that is called child abuse in which needs to be taken care of immediatly. If he has displayed violence toward you, then you need to tell a trusted adult to handle it from where you would be at from the time being. Good Luck.

My dad is really controlling of me, too. He always gets what he wants by making me feel gulity. I'm not allowed to be with my friends on his weekend - he says "I never get to see you this is my weekend you need to spend time with me" but then he goes and spend time with his wife who he sees all of the time.

I really don't have any advice to give you. All I can say is I know what you're going through. I'm not close to my dad and I can't tell him anything because I know the way he gets but maybe if you think you could talk to your dad about it you should.

Good luck

i'd rather not discuss things with him because then he'll turn it into an arguement or raised voices conversation, because he thinks that people disagreeing and having a differwent opinion when he thinks he's right is classed as an argument.

i mean i don't mind how things are at the moment i'm just a bit sick of going along with everything for the sake of no arguements and hassle, if i had my way i'd be at my mums and every alternate weekend i could stay with him, he also wants me to plan things i do in like 2/3 weeks advance well i just can't do that, i could be at school one day and get invited to a party the next day i can't just plan everything i do weeks in advance

i think i'll just stick it out i mean at the end of the day i ignore most things he says to me and it goes in one ear out the other, over my head etc. i just hope that when im like 17 he'll give me a bit more leeweigh and not "expect" me to come running everytime he comes back.

guess what? my dad wants to fucking leave the country

I'm really sorry to hear all of this and that he hit you. That's completely wrong.
I think you should tell your mom about him tell her he hit you and that you don't want to see him anymore because if you try to talk to him about this it sounds like he'll just try and make you feel guilty and all. Try calling him on the phone or contacting him and tell him you don't want to see him at all anymore. That should make him go away.
If not then you may as well call the Police on him.

be careful

Hoe K

He's still your dad and he still loves you and wants to protect you, try to make him see you're growing up but don't say anything that you will regret saying later, you only get one dad.

Don't think all dads wants to protect and loves their children. Most of dads loves and wants their children to be safe but there's some who doesn't. It's the minority, I know, but there is...

Oh........my......god!
i know yeah...men have to be the most irritating people EVER!
Not all of them.
But yeah, i have problems with my dad, it just pisses me off!!
hugz!

I can totally relate! I have huuge problems with my dad! He touched me in inappropriate places.. and there's this huge long history wiht me going in and out of mental institutes... I can't believe how much he effed up my life. I hate my dad soo much. He thinks he's a better musician than me and it really pees me off.*hugs* keep strong things will get better

okay, heads up: your wedding- ahem, YOUR wedding. if you want your step-father to give you away, then ask him. explain to your real dad why you'd rather not have him give you away, or write him a note.

talk to you mom maybe?