Originally Posted by indifferentx5590

My mom is an animal lover. She takes in abandoned or homeless animals and takes care of them. If she can't find them a home, she keeps them. Which is fine and everything, but...

On top of that, there are 3 foster children from DYFS living in my house. We only get $1,500 per month total to take care of them. This money is spent on clothing, school supplies, class trips, dance classes, food, and part of the car payment, because my dad had to purchase a larger vehicle to transport everyone.

So the thing is, having these foster children makes financial situations tight in my household. My mother spending so much money on animals makes it worse. I'm going to college in less than 1 year. My parents cant support me anymore, so I'm paying for everything on my own. My own clothes, food, etc.

Problem is, my parents fight about the situation every day. We are $7,000 in debt. My mom blames my dad for spending all the money, but really it isn't him. It goes to her rescuing animals and buying gifts for people. (My dad is retired, there is hardly any income).

I can't deal with them arguing every day. Its not a good enviornment for the foster children either. What can I do to either help the situation, or help stop their constant bickering?

My grades are starting to become affected by the problems because I can not do my homework b/c of all the noise and yelling. I don't even have the extra money to print my research papers, so I'm failing my projects.

I don't know what to do about my parents situation. I am thinking about moving out with my boyfriend when I graduate high school this coming June. Any ideas????

Originally Posted by tessa_s212

It is probably impractical to blame it entirely on your mom. It is most likely a problem that has been slowly making it way to the front burner for a long time help caused by both parties, however it might be more of your mom's than your dads. I still believe it to be unfair and impractical to blame it entirely on your mother.

Is your mom aware that there are animal rescues and shelters? Humane society's often charge to surrender animals, even if only found as a stray, but that small charge would not add up as would the money it takes to properly care for animals.

I applaud your parents for what they are doing for those children. I think its great and more people need to foster! However, you are correct that that is not the environment most of these kids need to be in. I hope they realize this and try to get to the root of the problem to make their home a great place for foster children again.

Does your mother work? If not, I'd be telling her to go get a dang job if she wants to care for those animals. It's one thing ot have a bit heart and open your home to rescued animals. It is another thing to be stupid about it and take them in when you really don't have the resources to care for them, especially when you have more important things to care for, such as the foster children.

My teachers know about my bad home life. Often times, they simply let me email them my papers because I do not have a printer at home and often times cannot print them while at school. If you ask to talk to them sometime and explain the situation, is it possible at least a few of them would allow you to do this? You do obviously have internet and ability to email the papers. This would save your grades.

As for paying for your own college.. its rough, but there are a lot of people that have to. I have to as well. This is why I'm working so hard to get my GPA up to a 3.5, and hoping my high ACT score will earn me some free college. Also, trying for any possible scholarship you have even a small possibility of getting is a very smart choice. I too have a job, and though I don't advocate that others do this, I save every penny of my money, including the money I am supposed to use to eat off of. More times than not I go hungry to save that extra 2-5 dollars I might use to feed myself. I also don't waste money on things that aren't needed, like face or body wash, new shoes unless they have so many holes they can't be worn any longer, I only buy cheaper hair shampoo brands, and anythign extra that you could think off. It adds up in the end.

As for moving in with teh boyfriend, I do discourage that. Even if he is a wonderful guy, it's a much needed life experience, IMO, to be on your own and caring for yourself, not relying on others to take care of you. I plan to be engaged within two years, and married within the next five years, however I've made it clear to my boyfriend although I'm dead set on marrying him as of right now(and he feels the same ), that I want to be supporting myself and on my own for at least a short time to learn what it is like to care for myself without depending on others. I really hate to see girls move in with boyfriends right out of highschool.

Originally Posted by indifferentx5590

about the animal shelters...my area isn't exactly the greatest. so most shelters will put the animals to sleep around here.

thats the other problem with my mom. she doesnt work. she just likes to sit there and complain about there being no income...she won't do anything about it herself. (its also hard for her b/c she never went to college, i'll give her that much)

things definitely add up in the end from their growing costs. i mean, obviously there are some things you definitely have to buy to stay healthy/clean/etc... if you go to a place like BJ's or Costco you can get this humongous bottle for like $6.00 haha

yeah, i agree about the thing with supporting yourself. thats the mistake my parents made....they combined there money into one account. if i did move in with someone, i'd split the costs of everything....i'd be paying for myself, he'd be paying for himself. simple as that. and if we ever had a kid, that should be split too. i think its important to be independent.

thanks for the help.

Originally Posted by tessa_s212

Even the humane society I work at has no choice but to euthanize animals. It isn't something the majority of shelters are able to avoid. And those that do claim to be no kill, they are impractical. Some animals are simply too sick, too aggressive, or the shelters just don't have room enough to keep these animals alive. You can't blame that on the shelters, you blame it on everyone that lives in that area that is not spaying and neutering their pets.

Although she might not be able to get a high income job, she can still get a job. To complain but do nothing is nothing more than stupidity. Nothing I can't stand more than a person that will cry and complain, but not take action. Heck, there are cleaning jobs that usually pay quite well,a nd you don't need a college education for that.

While I addressed the importance of being independant before you do settle down, once you do have a family adn child together, I do expect and have no problem with sharing and depending on one another. That is what a family does. It is just too bad that you've experienced when one individual of hte partnership gets lazy and isn't doing her full duty in the relationship. Doesn't mean people can't though.

Originally Posted by T.N.T

i suggest you sit your ma down as a family and tell her hoe you all feel bout the way you are living and your feelings..