Friend who wants to be girlfriend.

Stuey · 06-04-2008, 07:50 AM

This girl, who I've known my whole life is all of a sudden in the past few weeks all over me. She flirts with me all the time and makes jokes a lot about us going out, having sex, all that. I normally wouldn't have a problem dating her, except for 2 things.

#1: She already has a boyfriend.

#2: She is 3 years older than me. (Give or take a few months.)

What I am asking is basically how can I get her to be more interested in her boyfriend than with me, without losing her friendship. They are having trouble as it is, and I think that it is mostly due to me. I could really use some help.

kylejob · 06-04-2008, 07:54 AM

Well if they're having trouble, and she wants you than don't ENCOURAGE her to dump him but I don't see why you should help him out. He probably (unless your friend sucks) brought it on himself...so just wait and see what happens...then if you end up wanting to date her go for it. Who cares that she's older than you...normally that's better anyways

Stuey · 06-04-2008, 08:09 AM

She's like a sister to me though. We've gone to church together for 15 years (since I've been born). Her and another girl there practically raised me, teaching me the things that they don't bother with in school. It's kinda weird. And as for if he brought it on himself...probably. I know that he drinks and tells her he won't, then does it again. Not like she's a saint or anything either if you know what I mean. It's not like their relationship started last week though, they've been going out for nearly 3 years. Then all of a sudden she starts hitting on me and they aren't getting along.

kylejob · 06-04-2008, 08:12 AM

We I can understand if you don't want to get with her cause of how close you are....although I would UNLESS it would jeopardize our friendship...then I wouldn't.

But I dno man I would just let them deal with their own problems themselves unless she asks you about it...and as for her hitting on you...if you don't want to get with her than just don't give her the same signs she's giving you. Girls aren't dumb...they invented that shit

Stuey · 06-04-2008, 09:07 AM

I guess so. She wrote notes to me that said how she thought I was hot and how she wouldn't be the first to make out with me, stuff like that. The thing is, my parents found them so now they know about it. They say they won't tell her parents, which is good since more trouble is not what either of us need right now. I think that I'm going to tell her to cool it under the premise that now my parents are going to be watching us all the time. Thanks for the advice.

ALancelot · 06-04-2008, 06:56 PM

Talk to her. Explain why you feel like you do and tell her, as gently as possible, you only see her as a friend and you wouldn't want it to escalate into anything else.

Seriously, if your that good friends and you've known her all our life, you should be able to speak to eachother and tell eachother how you feel without they be any misunderstandings or awkwardness.

Stuey · 06-05-2008, 12:34 AM

Yeah, I think that's what I'm going to have to do. I'll see her later this week and just politely try and tell her to back off.

Larry Trotter · 06-05-2008, 12:46 AM

i think its really sweet ur more bothered about her hapiness than your own gain, but you have the potential of something really special here, i alwaysn think relationships are best if uve known the person for a while, i think it makes it much more intimate, but its up to you, full respect with whatever you choose to do, Larry x