Maybe some older users in this forum have read my earlier posts, but this is like a carry on from them.

Months ago, me and this girl were very good mates, and had strong feelings for each other, then a lotta stuff happened but we chose to forget it all and start afresh.

Since we started again we have either been getting on EXTREMELY well, or been arguing.

Ive made a lot of mistakes with it all, repeating the same things which causes arguements. Such as being negative, which is a vicious thing cos when we argue it makes me more negative.. and so on.

The last time we "argued" it was because she was upset about something, but i had to go, so i was going to ask her about it later. However when i got back she seemed fine and so i said nothing. She thinks that i never planned on asking her and cant believe me. She said that i only seem to care about her when its me who has hurt her. Which is wrong, but yes it did kind of look that way.

She also said "theres always going to be someone who is going to let me down" and "i wish it wasnt you though, more than anything, i wish it didnt have to be you"

What does she mean by that? Does it only seem to me that that might suggest she still has feelings for me?

My biggest problem is that there is another guy who she talks too a lot. He is the one who she went to when i had upset her. They are best mates now, he used to be one of my best mates but doesn't talk as much to me anymore. He is always there for her, in fact he never seems to do much else but talk to her anymore.

At the moment, i said to her i wouldn't speak to her until she felt she was ready. I think it was a good idea but it just gives the other guy more time to talk to her.

I just want your opinions on it i guess

Yes, she has feelings for you. Whether they are more intimate or not than friendship is not my role to assume, but yes, she does care about you considering her response, or initial statement.







How would you be negative? Can you give me examples of previous mistakes?
And what kind of mistakes did you make?

hello

Like if she isn't that talkative to me, i would always assume i've done something wrong. Or that its my fault. Things like that.

We talk again last night and she said that when we do argue that she misses me like crazy. And that its hard to get me out of her head. The feeling is the same for me. We both want to get this sorted but not sure how. I've asked her now how is it she actually feels about me and this whole situation. I havn't had a reply as yet but fingers crossed.

You need to have faith in her. You need to stop assuming you are doing things wrongly, you need to trust her ability to notify you if you are doing something wrong. In other words, if you are doing something wrong, trust her she will tell you.

We all have moods, if she isn't talkative, try asking her if anything is wrong. If she replies no, respect her wishes and try making the experience fun, try having her smile, if it is important she will tell you what's up.

Let her know you are trying to change these factors, but she is going to need to help you along the way, she needs to be both sincerely open and truthful with you, if there is something up she needs to be the one mature enough to bring it up and not let it linger.

You two need to work together. =]

Updates:

Had a brilliant week with her, everything was fine, we talked loads and realized that the reason why we argued so much is because we do care for each other more than just friends.

However last night the other guy said to her that if me and her got closer he would feel awkward about it. He said this because she hasn't talked to him as much because we've been talking so much. Personally i feel thats a very selfish thing to say because she now doesn't know what to do at all. I had to do a lot of talking with her to let her know that i wasn't going to stop being friends with her.

I don't think we can ever be together, we do both want it kinda, but we don't and she certainly doesn't want to hurt this other guy because he does have strong feelings for her. I think me and her are going to remain close but not have a relationship. I am kinda upset about it because it's the other guy who's been causing the problems now. I think he said it out of spite really because he might be jealous... Idk..

I'm not really that sure what to do atm, fragile ground

Well stick to being friends for the time being let the dust settle y'know you dont wanna start a vendetta with this other dude.

Nonsense my friend, you are upset by not being able to be with her, fight for what you want in life. If you're cool with just being friends, then just be friends, but it seems you want more than that...You should tell her she should have the right to be happy, and if being happy is with you, then so be it. It isn't her fault she has feelings for you, that is life and this other guy needs to realize that.

ya...

U must know about him.... why she want him when she sad.....

and...

U think... am I have a good thing that can U give for her....