Hello guys and gals,
This is the first problem I’ve posted about and it involves my friend Fergus (that’s him in the picture!) He’s a really sweet 15 year-old guy and used to play in our school soccer team, but he stopped a few months ago, and begun to put on some weight. I know he looks a little bit chubby in the picture (and do I spy a double chin? >_<), but trust me, he isn’t fat, just a little pudgy.





Ok, let me explain what happened. Hope you’re prepared for a long read! Last week, one of my friends named Megan had a pool party and invited my other good friend Fergus. We were split into teams and did all these different events like who could swim fastest, who could tread water the longest and stuff like that. At the final event, two teams were tied, my team and Megan’s team (Fergus was in that team) and it was down to the final event which was the burger-eating competition. My team chose Alonso because he’s really big, and the Megan’s team chose Fergus. Alonso went first and gave up after four and a half burgers, which I thought was a definite win. But their team was really determined to beat us. Fergus seemed quite confident, he just wolfed down the burgers while sitting down on his deckchair and he started off really well and managed to eat around two burgers, but then said he was really full, and said he was too stuffed to continue, which was understandable seeing as he’s much smaller than Alonso. But Megan really wanted the prize for the winning team and wouldn’t let Fergus quit, so her team broke the fourth burger into small bits and they fed it to him saying, “less talk, more munch.” The more their team fed him, the more his stomach began to swell (He was only wearing his swimming shorts with no top on, so we could see his tummy slowly grow for ourselves!). Fergus kept saying that he was utterly stuffed, but they continued to force-feed him, and by the time the fourth burger disappeared into his mouth, his tummy was bulging so much that it was like this big inflated balloon. He was really struggling to fit more than four burgers into his gut, but his team-mates kept insisting that he definitely had more room in his tummy for an extra burger. As they crammed food into his mouth, they would rub his throat to help him swallow. They even loosened his swimming trunks to allow his belly to expand even more and stroked the sides of his stomach, chanting “eat, eat, eat, eat” over and over again. His tummy just kept growing and growing and I was afraid he was going to burst!

They kept forcing bits of bread and meat into his mouth despite Fergus’ moaning with a mouthful of food stuffed in his cheeks, until eventually they somehow managed to cram four and three quarters of a burger into Fergus’ bulging round tummy and beat our team! Fergus gave a sigh of relief to hear he was all done, but his belly was so bloated that he could hardly sit up from his deck chair. Their whole team cheered when they heard they had beaten us and won the prize. So does that all sound all right to you so far? It doesn’t for me.

I know it was all done in the spirit of fun, and a lot of my friends thought it was extremely funny to watch, but to me it was quite an awful sight. There was sauce all over Fergus’s mouth and a lot had dribbled down onto his chest, and his bulging belly was so overstuffed that the sides of his tummy were being stretched by all the food inside. And despite this, they were all leaning over him while he just lay there on the deck chain and they still continued to try and stuff him with even more food! Personally I think Megan and her team-mates did this because Fergus had put on weight recently. They even called him “fat” a few times while they were feeding him, and even though he did look a teensy weensy bit massive at the time, it was only because he was bloated. I don’t think he’s fat, is he? What do you think, guys and gals? Judging from picture above, would you say Fergus was fat? Please be honest, that’s more important to me than anything.

One of my friends said I’m making a big deal out of this because my team lost, but that’s just not true. I really did think what they did to poor Fergus was out of line. If he said that he was full, Megan and her team-mates shouldn’t have forced him to carry out eating until his belly almost went pop. What if he had puked up? Or gotten ill from over-eating? What do you think, guys and gals? Am I over-reacting to a fun-filled party event? Or would you consider this genuine bullying?

Looking forward to any replies!

Lots of Love,
Lissa xx

no definately not fat, especalily if you live in america!

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That's just sick to force feed somebody that full. This is a facial picture, we can't really judge. Clothes do wonders as well to hide fat if the right things are worn. I think how "fat" you are can only be calculated by your body fat percentage imho. (because bone mass can also make some1 look larger)

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Well, if he was against it, but they kept forcing food into his throat, then I'd consider that bullying.

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"The funny thing is, nobody ever really knows how much anybody else is hurting. We could be standing next to someone who is completely broken, and we wouldn't even know."

Thanks for the replies!

Well, it’s kinda hard to judge if he was against it or not because in the beginning he was pretty willing to do the eating challenge. He ate two burgers happily on his own, and then said he didn’t want to eat any more, but Megan told him how badly she wanted to win the contest and somehow convinced him to allow her to feed him a bit. I guess he didn’t mind being fed a small amount of food, because he still had some room in his gut and maybe he liked the idea of a girl feeding him food? But after a while, he began to look quite uncomfortable. When he told them he was utterly stuffed, Megan and her lot should have just stopped. Like I said earlier, Fergus is such a sweet guy, and he didn’t really struggle that much because he knew how badly Megan wanted to win. But Megan shouldn’t take advantage of his niceness! Her team-mates kept begging for him to have one more bite of food, and after that, they asked him for another bite, followed by another, over and over, telling him how close he was to winning. Fergus wasn’t wearing a shirt, he was just wearing his swimming shorts, so Megan and her team could clearly see his belly bulging with all the food and how bloated he had gotten because they just wouldn’t stop feeding him. But instead of stopping there like any good friend, they just loosened his swimming shorts so that his tummy could expand and swell up even more and carried on stuffing food into his mouth. Towards the end, I really don’t think he wanted to eat any more. He kept trying to say something to them, but whenever he opened his mouth to talk, they would just shovel more burger in. They massaged his throat to help him swallow and stroked his belly to comfort him I guess, but I still don’t agree with what they did.

It was obvious that he was stuffed to max and beyond, anyone could see that. By the end of it, his tummy had grown so round and bloated that the skin around it was really tight and it looked like his belly was going to explode! Fergus was too nice to fight for himself, and that’s probably one of the reasons that I got upset. He didn’t struggle much, except a few times towards the end when his belly was really bulging, you could hear him groan a bit. He would also squirm around sometimes when the team-mates who were massaging his belly accidentally pressed a bit too hard on his bloated tummy. But he didn’t need to complain for anyone to see he was uncomfortable. I guess it’s hard for him to say no when you have the party’s host begging you to win for her and five team-mates all chanting for you to eat more and more >_<

I’ve been trying to convince Megan and her friends that what they did was wrong, but they all just say that it was part of the party and everyone was having fun. They don’t understand why I’m upset about it and its so frustrating trying to convince them. They all just think I’m mad because my team lost, but I was truly worried that getting Fergus’s belly so stuffed and bloated was unhealthy for him. I want them to acknowledge that they treated Fergus badly and apologise to him. What can I say to convince them? :-(

Lots of Love,
Lissa xx

hes average weight in america lol

he's average if anything, and if he is your friend, then you're not overreacting at all. He was being forced to eat for the sake of fun, but that fun stopped when they started making fun of him

Yea, that's terrible, I know how hard it can be to resist peer pressure, and that's just wrong. I understand it's hard, but if that kinda thing happens, you need to stop it, because some people are just so sensitive that they will do almost anything for the sake of their peers.

and p.s. I don't think he's fat, he may not be super model material, but fat has taken on a whole new meaning in today's world

I don't think your over reacting, to be honest. I would consider this genuine bullying. If he wasn't wanting to continue and moaning out, and seeing physical effects because of them force feeding him, what else can you call this? It was unfair and wrong of your friends to treat him this way.

I'm all up for fun, don't get me wrong but theres a time were fun becomes out of line - thats when it's time to quit.



SimpleGirl*

You're not overreacting.

He is not fat one little bit, even if he was, it is nothing to be ashamed of and definitely not a reason to force feed the guy.

thats sad force feeding him like that just to win a prize. He doesn't look fat he's average

it's wrong to make him eat all that food, but sometimes when pppl are havin fun, they kinda forget about other ppls feelings. hav u talked to ur friend about how he felt when they were stuffing him?

as for your other q, i cant rlly agree with the others ppls. hes pretty fat yeah, you can tell by looking at his face form. hes got chubby cheeks and a double chin. yeah, hes not obeese true but hes got to be pretty fat if he got eat four burgers at once also. and i rember reading somewhere that if your belly can stretch that far, that is yur maximum capasity and your natural bodyform. not sure if its true or not, but it would mean he could be fat by natural. fat is not bad tho. tell your friend that maybe exercise bits, he could lose a few pounds to be a healthy weight, but dont make him sad when you tell him hes fat.

sorry for my english. its not my first language so it may be hard to read.

I think the force feeding was a little much... not to mention selfish and cruel on everyone elses behalf.

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PSYCHE!!!

i am having idea.

my friend tell me that to check for fatness, you must squeeze the fat on his belly in two fingers and measure how thick the fat is. i know can be weird to be touching belly of friend, but may be necessary if you want to know if he is really fat or not. its good that all nice ppl here say hes not fat, but also bad to give false hope to ppl. you must check yourself. ask nice for him to remove shirt, grab as much fat as possibility between two fingers, and measure. if more than 2cm, is fat. if less, is not. hope that is may be helping!

sorry again for bad english!

no, i don't think you're overreacting. first of all, this kid is lucky to have someone who cares about him so much. and second of all, you're right. they shouldn't have force-fed him if he was full.