I just... can't deal with my parents anymore. They get psychotic whenever I have a boyfriend. They were horrible throughout my high school years when I started dating my current bf in my junior year, but it just keeps getting worse...

They basically found out we had sex beginning of my freshman year of college, and made my life a living hell over the phone or any time I was at home. When my grandmother died I was upset enough but my mom used the opportunity when I was home for the funeral to call me a whore at every chance she got.

When I am home, I barely even get to see my bf "legally..." meaning I have to lie to see him. He is basically a perfect guy-- Ivy league boy who treats me like a queen. There is nothing about him that they can complain about.

Now, just as my mom was getting over the whole sex thing, she found out (by snooping through my computer, I might add) that I went and visited him at his college on weekend in February. (I'm in college, too, by the way.) She called me and flipped on me, telling me that I can find somewhere else to live, that she's not going to pay my tuition, I'm a big whore, etc. and how I'm against the bible, a disgrace to the family, on and on.

I am so sick and tired... He's my freaking boyfriend, we want to get married (he would do so now but I want to wait until we graduate college, since we couldn't live together right now anyway), I love him, he is a wonderful man, I'm 19 years old, yet I know my mother will make my life a living hell since she just started "trusting" me and now I've gone and ruined her "trust" again.

What can I do? My boyfriend is fully behind me and says he will talk to them for me, but what can I say that will even make a difference? My mom is CONVINCED that ALL MEN are only in relationships for sex-- she can't BELIEVE that someone could actually care about me. She constantly hints that he's probably cheating on me, doesn't actually care, pressures me all the time to break up with him, and if all else fails, tells me I'm too young to be serious about anyone.

Helpppp meeee. I'm going home in three weeks and I know it's going to be HELL.

well i cant give a great advice about this cause i've not been through this, but i can tell you that she is overreactin in a huge way, imean you are 19 its normal to have sex at that age, especialy with a bf, besides the fact that you are 19 has to make her realize that she cant overprotect you anymore

i dont know what to say either, i think that u cant rely on those ppl as ur family, u should just make ur own life and be with this guy, dont lose him, since u love each other that much!
be happy with him and try to ignore ur mother i know its hard but u have to, dont let her destoy ur relationship..
when u will get married things may get better
i dont know maybe he talking to her would be a good idea too.
but get him prepared for anything before he does

maybe you should just get married now. That might shut her up

You basically need to tell your mother that you're an adult, and even though that doesn't mean that you don't still need her, you don't need her like you did when you were 15. It is your life, not hers, and how would she like it if her mother went around telling her every little thing to do even though she's an adult? And what you do on a weekend is YOUR business, especially since you're legal and in college. You could be out doing nothing and not bettering yourself by being in school, but you aren't.

Luckily, I didn't go through this, and I'm so sorry you are! My parents actually lightented up a whole lot once I went to college this year, so. But I hope things get better!

my mom was the same way with my boyfriend.

i tried working things out, and calmly explained that this is the person who i want to share my life with, and she has to accept that. But that didnt work.
i dont know what to tell you...things never really got solved with my mom and i, she just kicked me out and told my boyfriend im "his problem now"
you're an adult now and in college. You can choose who you date, you're mom just has to deal with the fact that she cant control your life anymore. Your growing on your own.

I don't think she's going about this in the right way, but fact is she is your mother and if she believes sex outside of marriage is wrong, you aren't going to change her mind.

Though legally you may be an adult, if you are living under her roof(when not at college), she has the right to make the rules. If she is supporting you by paying for food, housing, college, etc, she has the right to make the rules. This includes when you get to see your boyfriend, or when don't you. It is not fair, but that is life. If you can't live by her rules and want to do things your way, you should move out. If you can't respect your mom's wishes(understandably), it is unfair to expect her to pay for your college.

At this point, I believe you should move out, find a job, and support yourself through college.

I face the same situation. My mother is schizophrenic and has borderline personality disorder. Despite that actually my boyfriend is a strong christian, respects me, and has even sat down adn told her that he has no intentions of having sex with me until marriage, she still hallucinates and makes things up in her mind. She's banned me completely from him. I do sneak behind her back. I hate lying, I hate sneaking.. and I do feel hurt by her thinking and calling me a whore when truth is, I AM trustworthy.. but I know I can't be angry or honestly expect her to not expect me to follow her rules. Her mentall illnesses make her thoughts skewed, but she honestly does think she's doing the wrong thing. I have 7 more months until I am 18. Because I will be legally an adult, I will choose to see my boyfriend when and where I want. I won't sneak any more. And if my mom doesn't like it and tries to ground me or contorl me, at that point I've already made the decision I will move out. I have alreayd made arrangements of where I will be living, I already have a job, and I'm finding ways to pay for my own college.

Its not fair.. but life's not fair. And as my favorite teachers says, "Fair is for five year olds."

Nice job bumbing an old thread guys..

Ohh.. oops.. didn't notice it was that old. :S

That's okay hun. For future references you know now.

Oh, well I've been on many forums before.. I know the whole "don't bring up old posts".. The person that posted before me was the one to bring up the old post. I just didn't think to look at the date of the OP. I assumed it was a recent thread when I saw it at the top and replied to.

I understand.

I'll just close the thread