I know that this is a very weird situation and I don't know if anyone will be able to relate to this, I just want to ask you, if you are reading this, to please comment and give me advice because it might help me...thanks!

So, I switched schools in grade 5 and, being the new kid, I got picked on alot by some of the boys in my grade. There was one kid who was always there for me and all of the other kids in our grade figured that we liked (like-liked, LOL) each other. In grade 7 we saw a couple of movies (with friends) and hung out together more. In grade 8, he asked me out, but my mom wouldn't let me go because dating is "wrong" and "I might be put in an awkward situation or do something stupid that I will regret later in life." We used to talk about dating a lot and we talked about dating each other when we turn 16 (because that's when his parents will let him date).

I was at his house this weekend (we're both going into grade 10) and I know that I still have feelings for him. Another issue is that his parents have sent him to a VERY religious boarding school (but it doesn't seem like he's changed very much). I don't know what to do because I WANT to date him, but a) my parents say no and b) I don't want to end up looking like and idiot. I've never had a serious boyfriend and I really like this guy a lot. What should I do? (WOW! That was a LONG post!)

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Aeliana_Tali

Quote:

" In order to be someone, you must first be yourself."

Tell your parents that either a) they can let you date him and you will be open with them about what the two of you do together or b) you will sneak around, get together, and do it like monkeys on extasy a billion times. Let them know that stifling you won't keep you from doing bad things- it will just make you do more and keep them from knowing about it.

I'm backing catateface. You should have some control over your parents, just don't go all crazy like those bitches on TV, telling their parents to fuck off and that they hate them. Be honest, responsible, respect them and their will, but demand your freedom and to do what you think is right. Your life is yours, just don't lose the hang of the wheel -be rational.

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My Love Calculator

Just go out with him anyway, and just try see him alot as "friends"

You sound sensible and responsible. So, react the same way to the situation. You clearly like the guy alot, and you care about what and how you're parents see the situation, too. So try and mix the two - explain to you're parents that you've both talked about dating eachother and that you don't find it "wrong". I'm sure that they will respect your honesty with them, takes courage to talk about it rationally, too.

Either way, i'd still go for it with this guy - whether or not my parents were on board with the situation or not. What I would do, is talk about it first with them - and if they still don't like it and find it "wrong" then at least I have tried with them - i'd show them that even though they disapprove of something, it won't effect me, it's my life.


Hope it works out for you


SimpleGirl*

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I smile because I have no idea whats going on..

What do I do about the religious issue? I don't know if he's still open to dating me, so how do I test it without looking like an idiot?

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Aeliana_Tali

Quote:

" In order to be someone, you must first be yourself."

I can't really think of a way to test it. Just ask him? Chat about it all before going to you're parents, and then once you and him have come to a decision about what you want, and what he wants then solve the issue with the parents?

You mentioned that you and him have discussed dating eachother before this? Should be a piece of cake talking to him about it now?



SimpleGirl*

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I smile because I have no idea whats going on..

You know what, I think you should follow what your parents say. It might seem to be unfair right now, but you'll realize that they have been doing you a favor. The quote you included in your post pretty much says that your mom is just trying to protect you from making a mistake like getting pregnant, or maybe just getting hurt in the long run.

From what I can understand from your post, he is being sent to a different school, not the same as yours. It would even be a worse idea, you will be disobeying your parents, and you go to different schools.

But then again, you're going into grade 10. How old are you? 16? I think that's an appropriate age to start dating. Why don't you talk to your parents about it? Explain to them that you think you need to start dating. I could be a helpful life experience. It's kind of like a preview and a crashcourse of the upcoming life. You will make mistakes, but what are mistakes if we won't learn from them? Tell them they need to let you date, so you can learn from your mistakes, if any would preset themselves. Reassure them that you will not do anything stupid.

That's all.

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parents have good intentions but sometimes they can be a little crazy. They try to be over protective and stifle you.
Just because he is sent to a religious school doesn't make him religous. I went to hardcore religious schools and never have been religious at all. Ask him what he thinks about religion. Then slowly steer the conversation to stuff about dating and waiting to date and all that.

tell your parents that you know they are only trying to protect you from making mistakes you will regret but everyone has to make mistakes and have some bad experiences or how will they learn? its the good AND bad experiences in your life that make you the person you are. say your not stupid and would like to be trusted because you feel you can be responsible. ask them to give you a chance but if they dont i would just date him anyway :P

and i went out with a vicars son and he wasnt religious at all or anything and he has been around religion all his life..soo i dont think he would have changed much because of the school he goes to. however if your still unsure just ask him casually what its like at his school and stuff and does he think its had any affect on him e.g changed his veiws on dating.

Talk to your parents about it...if they can't be reasonable then see him as "friends".

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Never give up on someone you can't go a day without thinking about.