just read this and just help me i'm kinda stuck in the middle and hes usually the one i talk to..
please i know its long but just take sometime and give your thoughts
so yeah its myspace.
yeah yeah online relationships dont work. i'm not stupid-and i do have a life, we're just friends but its complicated.

so here our relationship - as friends..
i was going through a tough time moving and stuff and drugs.. anyways i was going throught ALOT and everyday i could just talk to him just about stuff .
i was there for him to. he was having troubles himself so we got close like that.

he told me i was exactly wat he wanted in a girl - me being cute and ccuddly and him being a good looking guy who just couldn't find a girl - so yes its myspace but IM anywys we flirted of course but we both new nothing would get anywhere

well that was all the begining

middle - we texted alot and i got to know him more. and he knew me inside and out. he just has this way of nowing how im feeling just bye a text. BUT PROBLEM i cantt text anymore long distance


rightt now
he says he loves me well he did before to. but he gets in this thinking mode and writes the most amazing words ever and bassically says he loves me - like it means so much

BUTT he has a gf now. and i have to admit im pretty fucking jelous. like i didn't mind if he fucked a girl cause he told me about that stuff. but i was always thhe one he could talk to and now its her. BUT he still says he loves me?

ANYWAYSS heres kinda MY PROBLEM
a while ago he was at the mall and some girls who were a year younger than him where hitting on him and so i broght up that i did things with a guy about 2 years older than him so he told me he thought that guy was disgusting and he doesn't even look at girls a year younger then him

WELL we have talked about meeting and stuff and how fun it would be and he has planned to come to colledge here

BUTTTTT i'm 3 years younger then him.... he thinks im the same age

i really want to tell him the truth and but im scared he'll hate me??!?!

Iffff any of this doesn't make sence ASK cause i just kinda wrote this fast and tryed to keep it shorrrrt and i probably left something out or somethingg

If you want a relationship with anyone you have to start by telling the truth, If he does hate you then he wasn't worth the time in the first place.

I've been in a simmilar situation.. but I've never lied about my age.
He has a girlfriend, right? So if he came to college 'here' he'd still be with the same girlfriend? It might not matter so much if he didn't love you. But even if he does love you it shouldn't matter to him- trust me. There are many couples who are years apart. My parents are about 5 year difference.

I was in love with a guy once and he was 4 years older than me, and we were in a happy relationship for over a year. Things can work out.
It will be difficult, but you have to tell him. There has to be trust in a relationship- and it's a little silly posing as someone older. So just tell him =]

Let us know what happens
*hugs*

Online relationships do work, I met a guy online and we met up and we were in a relationship for over a year. Yes, it was difficult - but, it did work for a long period of time. Reason I brought that up is just to make you see that it can work out for you, too.

I don't think he'll hate you, at all. You are the person he went to to talk about things. You are the person he came to when he needed help. You've made a good friendship with him, and hating a friend takes alot to do. Be honest about you're age to him, and see what happens. If he ends up 'hating' you just because of age, is he really worth it? I don't think he is.

He may well be with someone else now, but he still loves you, it's possible. It just depends on the way he loves you. Think about it, does he love you? Or, is he in love with you?

Don't hide you're age any longer, just come out with it
Things can work out for you, stay positive.



SimpleGirl*

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I smile because I have no idea whats going on..

Whoa, that's pretty tough. First of all, do you know how he looks like in real life? Has he ever shown you a picture of him? Secondly, this could bite you in the butt if you don't tell him the truth about your age. He specifically said that he doesn't look at girls a year younger than him - the problem being is that you're three years younger than him. As much as you like him, Hayley-Ann, you need to tell him the truth about your age if he's going to meet up with you live. Otherwise, when he arrives and meets up with you, he'll probably be upset. Also, I know you're afraid he'll hate you, but you have to come clean sooner or later. Why not sooner? Just tell him while you're IM-ing him that you have a confession to make. If you tell him and he gets mad at you, then that doesn't mean he "loves" you like he claims he does. Honestly, you told us that he loves you before he even met you. He made an assumption that you were the same age as him, but if he hates you because you're three years his junior, then that's ridiculous. If he really does love you, he'll love you for you. Three years isn't that much when you're a teenager, but I'm sure he doesn't see it that way. Just know that if you do tell him and he doesn't appreciate it, he's not worth your time and you deserve better than that.

I also agree with the other two above me: Online relationships do work out if you make the effort to, if you're being honest with who you are.

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"The funny thing is, nobody ever really knows how much anybody else is hurting. We could be standing next to someone who is completely broken, and we wouldn't even know."

thanks a bunch for putting your views in this

like i can put my self in other peoples shoes pretty easy
and know as much as i do about him i honestly wish i told him from the start.
like if i knew we'd get this far.

anyways im still having douts cause in the past hes gotton mad at me for lying about what i did the night before but he'd know something was up and i'd tell him the truth like i was blazing or got introuble with a guy or something like that. and i could tell he was really disapointed and i feltt extremly bad for lieing
but this.
its going to be hard you know?

anyways ideas of how i could tell him? cause i am going to. but i think i just need a startt...

(Oh gosh this kinda reminds me of my topic XD)

Well, tell him in the best way you most feel comfortable, preferably IM. I have a bit of difficulty trying to start things like these too, but just think if you were really with him in real life, and you need to tell him. What would you say to him first? And work from there.

I think maybe you just need to say you have a 'confession'. Something like, there's something important you need to let him know, and basicly how you feel about lying about your age, and how you know it was wrong to do so(?)
Tell him that you don't want it to affect your relationship with him, and you wish to remain friends with him. But you never know, even though it may be a bit of a shock, it might not be such a big deal to him.
Like we've mentioned. Online relationships can work out!

Yeah, if you want it to be easy - just tell him on the computer, so you can avoid face-to-face contact. When you're chatting with him, you should probably begin by apologizing for what you're about to do and tell him that you understand that what you did was wrong. Then, tell him that you're not actually three years older than you are now. Make him understand where you come from, though. Make sure that's it important to you and that it's serious to you.

Good luck.

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"The funny thing is, nobody ever really knows how much anybody else is hurting. We could be standing next to someone who is completely broken, and we wouldn't even know."

Hmm, ways in which to tell him, huh? Okay, first keep in mind that it can work out for you, even though, telling him i'm guessing you'll be full of negative thoughts.

Don't worry about the past. This is now, and worrying about how he's previously got angry with you is just going to put more pressure on you to tell him about you're age, and you could eventually convince yourself that you won't tell him - wrong road to go down, don't you think? Leave the past, in the past.

Give yourself credit for deciding to tell him and be honest with him, it takes courage. Now, I think you should just bring it up casually like "Hey, I have something to tell you, just wondering if we can chat, asap?" I'm guessing it would be through IM? At least if it is, you have time to think about what you're going to say. Just talk to him about it, let it all out and be honest.

Tip: If you are going to do this through IM, be careful of how you say things. I know, personally, that when i'm having a 'serious' discussion on it - I take things the wrong way sometimes, and so does the other person i'm chatting to, and it can make things worse. Plan you're words, just be careful, know what I mean? I'm sure you'll be fine though, so try to relax!

Oh, and another important thing - apologise to him for lying. Make him see that you know you've done wrong. He may just appreciate it.


Hope it works out for you!
Let us know, yea?


SimpleGirl*

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I smile because I have no idea whats going on..

honestly, me and my boyfriend met online.
he lives in virginia, me, in wisconsin.
we're forever away.
& he's like, seriously the hottest guy i've ever met
so i'm suprised he even gave us a tryy.
he's almost 18 and i just turned 15.
you seriously wouldn't believe how in love we are with each other.
we finally met in the beggining of august.
he's coming to visit in december againn.
we've been going out for over a year...
love has no distance,
and if he truely did love you, age wouldn't matter.

yeah, i would deffinetly tell him how you feel
actually, you NEED to.
its really overrated in not saying what you feel cause then you wind up watching chances fade and wondering whats reall.

Tell him the truth...about your age and how you feel. You owe him and yourself that. Good luck

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Never give up on someone you can't go a day without thinking about.

Don't listen to that BULLshit. He doesn't love you? Do you really think he does? He doesn't even KNOW you. God, I'm sick of those teens who use the "L" word so often, with no meaning. Don't listen to that crap.

He's an ametuer at this whole thing. He tried to tell you, that he loves you. He doesn't. Well I already went over this, BUT he's pretty much a rookie at this stuff, so no, he won't care. He'll just "lol" and get on with it.

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Octoberfest.
I think your response to Hayley-Ann's question was pretty harsh. Maybe a little more compassion would be nice? I'm not saying I don't agree with you. (since I partially do) but the tone you used in your IM was very blunt.

Hayley-Ann.
I think you need to stop panicking and think about this situation logically. Online relationships can be a tricky thing to judge.. I'm one of those people who aren't against them.. but I'm not really for them either. You should really just calm down a little and think about what you would do with a friend, which is what he is, if you'd lied to them. It isn't the end of the world now is it? If they are really your friend they will totally understand. Most people here have already given you tips on how to tell him. I think IM might be a good way to discuss the issue BUT maybe an email with the full story would be a good option to send to him prior to a discussion. Then he can read the whole thing and see your point of view. Later you could discuss it and he would know how you feel.
From personal experience I find that on IM people tend to but in a lot and they never let you finish your sentence. Especially when having these conversations.

Oh quickly, how long have you two known each other?

xAnnabelle

ooooh dere.

lying about your age.

ooops! lol

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You cannot have a functional relationship based on lies. Either tell him the truth, or tell him goodbye.

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