I'm so sorry to hear about your mum. I really think you should try talking to her, calmly. I understand it's hard if you're not really the talking about emotions and such kind of person but you're whole family is obviously going through an incredibly tough time right now, especially your mum. She probably doesn't even realise how she's making you feel, just explain.

I am also sorry to hear about that. It must be a difficult time for all of you.

Maybe your mom is just lashing out at you because of what she is going through. Sometimes we do this when we are suffering an illness/disease, especially when its concerning. I am sure she is just upset and finding it hard to cope with, dealing with that i imagine must be hard and upsetting, so she is probably very worried and lashy right now. I am sure she appreciates what you're doing, and at least you're doing these things for her
I just know that when my mom was really ill herself she couldnt always be herself the same as she was before she had the disease because she so ill that it got to her eventually that much, hence why she was like she was. Im sure your mom is just being like this because of the same thing. It cant be a very nice thing to deal with.

I hope she recovers soon!

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Need and support? I'll listen

Well this is herself before she had the tumor she was like this shes just using it as an excuse now.. For Example "Go do the dish i have a brain tumor so i cant" "Get my laundry cuz i have a brain tumor" She just keeps using them for an excuse so i pretty much gave up on cleaning for her all i do is my part i clean all my messes do my laundry cook for myself and keep to myself. On the weekends im at my girlfriends house weekdays school and football then girlfriends house sometimes so i dont get home til 8:30ish and i go home shower and sleep. So as long as my part is done she better stay happy with it. Shes just using it as an excuse because everything is an excuse her "knee" problem "back" problem lol I have worse then that maybe not worse then a tumor but football has done its toll on my knees shoulders and not to mention my back injury so now when ever i lifted over a certain weight it feels the way it was when i go it. And she uses being able to talk to my girlfriend as a weapon. She shut my phone off hopefully the internet stays on and disconnected the cordless phone so she can listen to what i tell my girlfriend. My mom yelled at me for punching a hole in my wall again because I cant cope with my anger anymore she just causes so much stress and i told her shes the reason i'm gona have heart problems or cancer. My mom chain smokes and the house is filled with smoke and she causes stress which in the end causes heart problems its getting hard to deal with and i want to be 18 so i can move the heck outta here.

It's wrong of you're mum to be using everything and anything as an excuse, but, maybe this is her way of dealing with things? By being awkward? Maybe, she is, infact jeaouls of you - you have a life of you're own and you're healtly. Maybe she's taking it out on you so much because she wants what you have?

I don't really understand why she is disconnected the phone and the internet, is it to stop you talking to people? She must know that that will just cause you to be even more frustrated..? You're mum should have some kind of idea of just how stressed you are with it all, I mean, you punched you're wall, again. Now, if you saw someone punch a wall, wouldn't you automatically assume something was wrong and try and help them? Right?

Have you maybe got somewhere else to go for a break? Family? Friends?


Support Leader,

SimpleGirl*

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I smile because I have no idea whats going on..

No were to go i hang with my girlfrined and i use school as a retreat from this hell. Its prolly the 20th hole in my wall. Lots have been patched up. It helps relieve anger i guess better then cutting myself like I tried along time ago. I had to convince my sister to get me a phone with her plan and shes nice enough to get one for me as long as i dont go over minutes. Its gona be 100$ to add a line for the plan shes got. I think me and my sister would be better off without my mom thats just my thought because she has caused all this stress since the begining of time. Ever since i could remember. She used to be a drunk and beat us senseless on frequent occasions and after that stopped she hurt us mentally saying mean stuff and thats all shes been doing our whole lifes. I guess bad things happen to bad people because i think shes a bad person now that i think about it

Wow, now that you have mentioned all of this, I now have a better understanding of your point of view. It's not really a mature thing on your mom's part to use her disabilities as an excuse. Once you turn 18, you have the power to do what you want... so if you feel like you're in an unstable household, then you can go ahead and move right out.


Punching walls hurt just as much as cutting, I feel. It's not just self-mutilation, but it's also harming your surroundings. Here's something that most people don't know when I'm angry... (yes, it's story time): When I'm angry or frustrated with my mom... I go into my room and shut the lights and television off and lock myself in my closet and just cry. That's something I do when I feel like I'm the enemy, which might help you or might not. Sometimes, I shut down completely and just keep to myself. Whenever you're at home, try not to make another hole in the wall. When your mom is giving you a hard time about something, keep in mind that it's okay to be angry and it's okay to cry (even though you might not be the kind of person who cries often)... but just know that no one will think lesser of you.

Support Leader,

armyforthebroken

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"The funny thing is, nobody ever really knows how much anybody else is hurting. We could be standing next to someone who is completely broken, and we wouldn't even know."

I do cry alot when im with my girlfriend i let out and talk to her about it....But it doesnt hurt myself to punch my wall i don't feel my hand broken anymore because due to braking it alot not jus in anger but at football and lacrosse.

Then thats good; at least you have an outlet where you can let out how you feel, don't you agree? It makes you no less of a person to cry, i'm sure you know that already, but you know - sometimes we just need some reassurance.

I know it may well not hurt no more to punch anything, but, it's still not really helping you, is it? It may well feel good, initially, but instead of taking it out on you're wall, in a physically manner, how about trying another way to let it out of you're system? Talking to someone? Anyone?

Support Leader,

SimpleGirl*

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I smile because I have no idea whats going on..

Well I let it out by yelling at my mom for all the crap she has done that got me no where. So silent treatment works at the moment. She hates it it annoys her the most and I'll jus show no emotions towards her while being yelled at. Im mentally unstable and the slightest thing might trigger something bad. like if someone mentions how good their life is and how much things their mom does for them i get pretty upset and hold back from telling them well good for you and flipping out. only people that knows whats going on right now is my coaches and girlfriend and they dislike my mother because of it.

Silent treatment works for me, too. It's also a good thing to tell people that you trust about your family situation or whatever situation you're currently undergoing, because if you don't - all this anger and hate, and feelings are bottled up inside of you. So, telling your girlfriend and your coaches about your problem is a good start. Might I suggest you go to your counselor... ? Counselors are a big help, especially to problems like yours. Of course, you don't need to unless you feel like it's a personal issue that you don't feel like a school counselor won't be able to address.

Support Leader,

armyforthebroken

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"The funny thing is, nobody ever really knows how much anybody else is hurting. We could be standing next to someone who is completely broken, and we wouldn't even know."