Ok my mom has a tumor and possibly cancer...But is that a reason to take it out on me and my sister. All we did was help and help but now that shes been doing all this yelling I gave up and only pick up my messes and completely giving up. I don't know what to do and i'm typing this fast because I dont know if shes going to shut off my internet... So I need advice and help on how to keep sane. I have a girlfriend and we stay in contact through cell phones but i dont have one now my sister is going to try to get me on her plan...hopefully she does. SHould i quit football? and what is there to do to stay sane other then drink and smoke some kids have suggested to me but i dont give into peer pressure.

Don't drink and don't smoke.

To keep sane?? Call a friend ask them to come over, or just to have a chat on the phone. Tell them how you feel until you feel that you have nothing at all to say to them. Or, vent out on here - I will listen to you and loads of other people on here will, too.

I wouldn't quit football - keep going, give yourself a break and keep you're mind occupied, yea? It can be a big help when you feel down.

I'm sorry to hear about you're mum - maybe the reason she is taking it out on you and you're sister is because she maybe needs someone else to be strong for her right now. Or, she just isn't really handling it all that well, maybe? Not that i'm saying it's fair to take it out on you and you're sister. Have you tried talking to some reletives about it? See if they can help you both out?

Sorry I can't be anymore help..


Support Leader,

SimpleGirl*

__________________
I smile because I have no idea whats going on..

OK i can vent but i cant call cuz i dont have a cell phone lol and my bestfriend lives 100 miles away because I moved so I cant call long distant from home fone .

Hey there Tmac,

I think you need to calm down quite a bit and look at this situation differently. Your mom is going through a tough time right now; what with her tumor and cancer, so she's probably stressed out (I know I would be) and she just needs the help and support from her family; think about it in her perspective. If she's doing all this yelling and all this nonsense, you should probably talk to her about it. You're there to help, I'm sure - so tell her that you're willing to help, but you don't want to get yelled for it. I'm sure she'll understand.

I'm glad you're not the type of person who would give into peer pressure, so I needn't worry about that all too much. However, the decision to quit football genuinely falls upon you. Football players have a commitment to their team and their coach(es), so if you're really into football and that's something you love to do - then I say you should stay in and be committed. Otherwise, you could leave it if you think it's a burden of your time.

To stay sane, you should probably get out of the house once in a while and take a breather. Go to the movies or something and just take some time out of the house. When we have a lot of stuff going on in one place, it's healthy to pause and escape your problems for a moment - just to sort things out. I think that's what you need to do.


I hope this helped some.
Support Leader,

armyforthebroken

__________________
"The funny thing is, nobody ever really knows how much anybody else is hurting. We could be standing next to someone who is completely broken, and we wouldn't even know."

only problem is I'm not sensitive like that I don't like to talk to my mom about stuff like that and talk deeply. I Gues i don't show my emotions to her only to my girlfriend and bestfriend mostly. They KNow all my problems and whats going on. Me and my mom arent connected I dont talk to her to much anymore because I'm busy with my life. I have football school friends girlfriend and it consumes all my time. I dont like to talk about my day and thats what she ask's me about how my day was and crap so I tell her just fine and go to my room onto my computer after being back from practice. I guess im sensitive but only to my girlfriend everyone else i acted like a hard a$$ but i guess you can call me a teddy bear I'm big strong and tough looking but wouldnt hurt a fly unless at football. And also i dont like to hug my mom sister brother or tell them I love them because i find it weird....I guess i'm pretty pathetic but I can't change these ways.

Yeah, I'm sort of like you; I can relate. About three months ago, during the summer, I never really talked to my mom. I was in and out of the house, going to my photography class, going to the movies, hanging out with my friends, etc. I'm always out of the house and the only communication that my mom and I had was greeting each other and saying "Bye, I'll be back soon!" It was sort of like we were strangers, almost.

Sometime during the middle of July, the family (mom, brother, and I) went to visit my sister and her family at Kansas. In the beginning of the trip, it was still awkward. Gradually, though, everyone bonded with each other. Including, my mom and I. You see, before - I never talked to my mom about anything; I didn't even clue her in on the problems I faced. There was this huge brick wall between us, but this trip to Kansas really made me appreciate my family a whole lot more. We got back to California (our state) hugging and saying "I love you" and everything that a loving family would do. That trip changed everything, but I'm glad it did. I understood my mom a whole lot better and she understands me.

Listen, Tmac, you don't have to be sensitive to try and understand what your mom is going through. You just need to reach out to her, because she might be gone the next day; you never know, life happens fast and if you don't make that sort of connection soon, you're going to hate yourself for not making that effort. Trust me, I've witnessed my fair share of having my friends crying and telling me that the ones in their lives aren't there anymore.

This is my opinion, but I think you owe your mom at least one day of your life trying to form some kind of bond. Take some time out of your daily life to try and understand her.

Support Leader,

armyforthebroken

__________________
"The funny thing is, nobody ever really knows how much anybody else is hurting. We could be standing next to someone who is completely broken, and we wouldn't even know."

You're not pathetic.

Have you tried talking to you're girlfriend and best friend about it all? That will help you, right? You need to give yourself a break once and a while, take a deep breath and do something to relax you or something you enjoy.

Maybe a chat to you're mum would be good? I know you mentioned that you're not connected to you're mum no longer, but, maybe a little chat with her could get some sort of connection back and make life alot easier for you?

I'm like that, too. I can't seem to tell my sister or mum I love them - but, they know. I show them I do, I just don't say it. A hug can work wonders, just a heads up.


Support Leader,

SimpleGirl*

__________________
I smile because I have no idea whats going on..

i hugged her a few times....And I talked with them it helps and my girlfriend makes it alot better because I know i have someone that loves me. My mom has told me shes better off without me and im a waste of air tons of times before all this happened.

Wait, time out - you hugged your mom, right?

And when did she tell you that you're a waste of air?

__________________
"The funny thing is, nobody ever really knows how much anybody else is hurting. We could be standing next to someone who is completely broken, and we wouldn't even know."

alot on an off since i was 7....She always does and says im just like my father.

Well, you know who you are and who you are not. If she say's you're just like your father and I'm going out on a limb and say that your father probably wasn't in your life all that much, right? And he probably hurt your mother, too.

I have a question that might touch on a personal issue, but what do you think of your father? Feel free to answer the question or not.

Support Leader,

armyforthebroken

__________________
"The funny thing is, nobody ever really knows how much anybody else is hurting. We could be standing next to someone who is completely broken, and we wouldn't even know."

I think he's a dead beat that doesnt deserve to be here at all he abused my mom been in and out of my life made me have trust issue's by all his damn lies hurt me countless times...When i was little when he said he was on the way to coming to get us and wasnt i would wait there for HOURS just sitting there intil my mom made me come in. He chooses his girlfriend over his kids he's irresponisble.

Then you're "father" is not really behaving like a father, is he? I can relate. My father has never been a father to me, it's always been my mum picking up the pieces. He doesn't care about me or my sister - he's more concerned with "his family". Me and my sister are last on his list - its tough to accept.

I don't know why I told you that, maybe it's good to know that other people have deadbeat dads, too?


Support Leader,

SimpleGirl*

__________________
I smile because I have no idea whats going on..

Yeah, see? I can tell you're better than him. Matter of fact, you know you're better than him. Your mom had to see the man that she loved walk away from her, and generally that's hard to deal with. Naturally, if I were in your mom's shoes, I'd end up hating your father as well... but I wouldn't take it out on you.

I'm... literally at a loss for words, because I can't imagine what that must feel like. You and your mom is going through a rough time in your lives right now, but this is the time to really try and connect. If everything else around you fails, family is all you have left. If nothing else works out, family is who you come back to. Your dad is irresponsible and he is a deadbeat. You don't even have a reason to love him after everything he's done to you and your mother.

I'm done with talking about your father, but as for your mother issue. I think you just need to prove it to her that you're gonna become a better man than your father and that you're gonna be somebody someday.

Support Leader,

armyforthebroken

__________________
"The funny thing is, nobody ever really knows how much anybody else is hurting. We could be standing next to someone who is completely broken, and we wouldn't even know."

I think she doesnt like seeing me happy. She turned my cell phone off because she knows I talk to my gf mainly on my cell phone then unplugged the internet intil a lil while ago i think shes jealous of me and my girlfriend because im so happy being with her and being with her makes me to busy to connect with my mom and because my mom talks alot of crap about kirsten it pisses me off. I hope my sister gets me on her plan.