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Old 09-10-2008, 07:03 PM   #1
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Being the youngest of the familly : Good or bad thing ?

What are the advantages and the bad things about being the youngest of the familly ?

I am, and most people say that when you're the youngest of the familly your parents take more care about you, they give you what you want and the older kids often are jaleous of that...Well it's not my case, contrary to that, at home my older sister take advantage of the situation and my parents say that i have to respect them because they're older. The oldest of my sisters is 20 and she'll leave the house soon to go live in England (she's leaving on september 18th) and she was, like the only one who still...kind of cared about how i felt so sometimes she defended me when i was arguing with my other sister (who's 15), but now when she's gonna leave i'm really fearing to be alone with her.

My 15 yrs old sister is the kind of very girly teenage girls who reads celebrity & gossip magazines, who likes to break the rules, have bf's behind the parents back and who thinks she's old enough to care about herself and goes angry at anyone who doesn't let her do what she wants. So when the parents prohibit her something she gets mad, throws things on the floor, yells and destroys everything she sees, but since she knows i' m younger she, uses me as her slave and living punching ball everytime she gets angry. She's always commending me, telling me what to do like she actually knew everything,if i just dare to say my opinion or not do what she wants she throws the nearest object at me some examples are :

- she threw scissors to my face the last time, i used my hands to protect my face and it cut half of my finger it was like bleeding madly and i thought i'd loose it. Now i'm like fearing the day we'll start arguing in the ketchen with all the knifes nearby .

- When i'm on the computer and she's wanting to go, i have to leave immediatly and let her take my place if i don't want her to go crazy, scream or/and fight me, but when she is on the computer and i'm wanting to go on the computer to, i have to wait hours before i can or sometimes she says " i'll let u go on the computer tomorrow!!".

- When we are arguing she insults me and feels free to yell whatever she wants to me. One day when we argueing about some stupid thing, she called me a b*tch and i replied by calling her stupid, she got all crazy, locked the room, took all my schoolstuff out of my backpack and threw it all over the room & destroyed my personal stuff (like some of my birthday presents, some of my books,..) - we unfortunally share the same room - and she went out with her friends like nothing happened right after, i didn't take any revange and just put my stuff back where they're supposed to be (not because i'm afraid of her, but because when i take revange i always end up regretting it, i already did and i felt guilty right after even though i really hate her...). So she actually thinks she has the right to insult me and call me whatever she wants , but if I just dare to reply she gets angry.

- Like i already said, we share the same room, but she prohibits me to put posters of chibi mangas or disneys like because she says it's immature, it doesn't look "teenagerish", and she doesn't want to be ridiculized when her girl friends enter the room, so the walls of our room is full of posters of celebrities, parfumes and "super hot boys" (like she calls em), i don't feel right in such a room - all these boys on the posters are really ugly btw - but i still don't have anything to say about it because she immediatly takes off all the anime posters i put anyway.

- She went to a school trip in Switzerland for one week. I was quite hesitant about it, but when she came back from the school trip i bought her a lil present - i don't even know why i do this, but when i have some money i always buy presents to the people i know just because i like how it feels like to give it to them and see them smile, therefore, despite the fact she's not the person i like the most (my sister) i buy things everytimes she comes back from a school trip. 2 years later i come back from that same school trip and i didn't get anything. It's not that i'm always hoping to get something back from the person but i buy her a little thing everytime i can with the few money i have everytime she comes back from the schooltrip, she's doesn't lack money at all, but she's never wanting to buy me anything and all the little presents i buy her, i find them broken, hidden in some dark corner of the house btw -_-.

But for some reason, she totally respects all other members of the family who are older and doesn't dare to talk back to them at all, but when it's me, it's like i was insignifiant and the parents say that she doesn't have the right to do all that, they talk talks and talks again but don't really do nothing about it...

It sounds childish i know, but Those are just a few examples because if i start talking too much nobody will read the post.

What can i actually do to make her understand that i'm not meant to be treated like a slave just because i'm not older than she is ? Does anyone know why she's being so agressive ?

For all the people who are the youngest of the family, do you actually enjoy this or are there more bad things about it ?

I honestly don't know whay everybody says that being the youngest is always better, you get the smallest room, parents wanna know everything you do, you get the old used and crappy clothes of ur bro & sisters, everybody think they're superior to you, you always get blamed for everything, older people think that, because you're younger, you need to be overprotected, that u have no experience and that u have to learn from them and not by urself, olders get everything before u do and if you want to have the same they call you a 'copycat', you get judged through the behaviour of your older brother of ur sister and/or get copared to them, they don't do their share of the household chores, but get angry at you if u don't do it etc...

Last edited by CrystalColoredRainbow; 09-10-2008 at 07:20 PM..
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Old 09-10-2008, 10:34 PM   #2
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Re: Being the youngest of the familly : Good or bad thing ?

Sometimes good but usually bad, good when you get treated better and get what you want and stuff. bad thing is like when you couldent do what your older sibling did that your parents did not let you do beacuse you were too young, and also when your older and if like for example someones parents dies the older has to usually take care of the rest like financially and stuff, younger has its good and bads stuff but so does older.
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Old 09-10-2008, 11:05 PM   #3
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Re: Being the youngest of the familly : Good or bad thing ?

Hey CrystalColoredRainbow,

Quote:
Originally Posted by CrystalColoredRainbow View Post
What are the advantages and the bad things about being the youngest of the familly ?
I'm the youngest of my family. The disadvantages of being the youngest, I find, is being compared to other siblings. I have an older sister (21) and i'm 18. I used to feel that I always had to do follow in her footsteps when it came to pretty much everything - especially when it came to education. Another disadvantage I find is being looked at just as the youngest - "Oh, you can't do that, you're too young.." or "Maybe you're sister can take you, she's old enough". I always found it unfair that I was looked at as just the youngest, but, as I grew up, I started sticking up for myself - proving to my family that just because of my age I can do things that my sister can do. Know what I mean?

The only advantages I found was that my sister will have wrinkles before me, haha. I really can't think of the advantages..

Quote:
What can i actually do to make her understand that i'm not meant to be treated like a slave just because i'm not older than she is ? Does anyone know why she's being so agressive ?


I can't really understand why she is so aggressive with you, don't get me wrong, throwing stuff around, screaming, shouting at pretty much anything is all apart of being a teenager - but, throwing scissors at you? I mean, that seems rather extreme, you know? If I was going to try and make her understand that I don't deserve to be treated the way she is treating me what I wouldn't do is behave the way she is with you, back.

I'd, at least, try talking to her - explain how you feel and how you think it isn't right to be treated the way you are off her? If all else fails, try and talk to you're parents, again. Really make them see that her behavior is out of line towards you and that you're fed up of it. See what that does?

Quote:
For all the people who are the youngest of the family, do you actually enjoy this or are there more bad things about it ?


I don't enjoy it, but I don't exactly hate it neither. I used to really dislike it when I was younger, but now I don't let if effect me - I made my parent's see that I can take care of myself, I can go out and they needn't worry. But, it came with age - the older I got, the more they seemed to back off with the whole "you're the youngest" thing. Give it time, it might just work out the same way for you.


Hope this helped a little..

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Old 09-10-2008, 11:57 PM   #4
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Re: Being the youngest of the familly : Good or bad thing ?

Being the youngest of the family can be advantageous, as long as you assert yourself nicely, without feeling at a disadvantage and making drama.

You can learn so much from your older siblings. Like expecting answers to your asking about what you don't know. Often the youngest is thought to be the parents' "baby", though I'm not being derogatory here, you can expect to be indulged when out with your mum or dad.

Learn all you can. Like asking your mum to show you how to cook? Cooking has its advantages.. you get to have first pickings. Even first piggings. After all, if you made something special then you get to have second helpings. Maybe even thirds.


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Old 09-11-2008, 06:08 AM   #5
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Re: Being the youngest of the familly : Good or bad thing ?

Damn, your sister sounds like a bitch. Honestly, you need to put her in her place. All it will take is one good punch to the face. How much more can she do to you that she hasn't already?

Throwing scissors at your face is TOTALLY out of line. If my brothers ever did that to me (which they would NEVER) I swear to God I would make them regret it.

I'm the youngest of 4, and I always loved it. I get more presents at Christmas, got kind of spoiled, and get away with a lot :P
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Old 09-11-2008, 07:31 AM   #6
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Re: Being the youngest of the familly : Good or bad thing ?

Quote:
she threw scissors to my face the last time, i used my hands to protect my face and it cut half of my finger it was like bleeding madly and i thought i'd loose it. Now i'm like fearing the day we'll start arguing in the ketchen with all the knifes nearby .


yea my sis is like that sometimes but not as severe. my advice set her up.
have her argue with you in front of your parents jsut have fucking meltdown.
she has a dominate personality by the sound of your post. you have to humilate her
and knock her down a couple knoches and beat her at something so that doesnt dominate over you anymore. Its not gunna be easy but its gunna end faster then you think.
seems a little harsh but i am the youngest child out of me and my sister and she would freak out on me. when i was little i use to be scared to do anything. stood my ground one day and she threw down on me granted im a guy but i didnt hurt i just chose to have her meltdown in front of my parents and they saw she could crazy. just a suggestion.
i probably sound crazy as hell, but you have to courage to make harsh decision and will power to go through with them and face your problem
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Old 09-15-2008, 03:04 AM   #7
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Re: Being the youngest of the familly : Good or bad thing ?

i honestly think that you see things differently dependant on where you sit in the scale of age between siblings.

my sisters see things in a completely different light to myself and each other.


i think all positions of siblings have fair advandtages and disadvantages, we just tend to miss more of the advantages of where we ourselves lie, and pick up on more of the disadvantages.
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Old 09-15-2008, 06:18 AM   #8
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Re: Being the youngest of the familly : Good or bad thing ?

Wow we kinda have it backwards... For me when I was younger being the little kid in the house was bad. I was bullied by my older sis but by the time I hit middle school it changed. I let my sister know enough was enough and just stood up to her crap. Being the younger child has soooo many advantages. I can do things my sister could never do at the same age. I don't make the same mistakes as she does. My parents are less overprotective when it comes to school or curfew. I also have more trust with my parents then my sister has so I always stay on the good side which has countless benefits.

As for dealing with your problem, just stand up to her. If she yells you yell. If she tears down your posters screw up her's. Don't let her push you around or it will never end.
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Old 09-15-2008, 11:26 PM   #9
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Re: Being the youngest of the familly : Good or bad thing ?

being the baby in the family i get nurtured more, but yet again i can't do what my older bros and sis do.

If i was the oldest there would be a lot more responsibility in the family for me.
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Old 09-16-2008, 03:35 AM   #10
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Re: Being the youngest of the familly : Good or bad thing ?

well im the oldest and i think thats best
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Old 09-16-2008, 03:36 AM   #11
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Re: Being the youngest of the familly : Good or bad thing ?

Because you're the most respected
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Old 09-16-2008, 03:36 AM   #12
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Re: Being the youngest of the familly : Good or bad thing ?

although theres more pressure on ya to be "adult"
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Old 09-17-2008, 02:29 PM   #13
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Re: Being the youngest of the familly : Good or bad thing ?

bad thing
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Old 09-18-2008, 11:13 AM   #14
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Re: Being the youngest of the familly : Good or bad thing ?

I am the youngest of three, and I'm about 6 years younger than my two brothers, who are around the same age. I'd say I like because I get to learn from all of their mistakes (believe me, I learn a LOT; both high school dropouts AND college dropouts)

Plus, it seems to me the younger kids have it a little easier because the parents are older and know how to deal with you better, plus are more mellow after a few kids and don't punish you as badly.
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Old 09-18-2008, 03:42 PM   #15
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Re: Being the youngest of the familly : Good or bad thing ?

I'm the youngest of four (I'm 16), and I will tell you it has been good. Very good. =] I'm the most succesful out of all of them thus far in education getting mostly A range, and yeah I got pretty spoiled, my brother still share a room and they are 29 and 30 while I have my own LOL (yes they still live at home). Tell ya, college drop outs will only get you some low paying government drop that has a static pay that never changes for the rest of your life, sigh for them.

Anyway, I'm sorry to hear about your story, I can't really relate because if anything like that ever happened when I was a kid I took advantage of the young situation and naturally my parents were in my favour. (Imagine a kid that puts on a sad anguished face to their mother then hides in her arms, only to smile back at your fuming brother/sister. I have done that MANY times LOL.)

Somehow your sister needs to realise how precious even having a younger sister is, like seriously! She needs to step back and realise how much she is hurting you. You can choose your friends but you can't choose your family, blood is thicker than water. I think one of these days, when your ever given a chance, if the right boyfriend comes around (caring type or whatever) or even a nice friend that you know of hers, you know, just talk to them. I know its a bit wrong and weird but extreme situations call for extreme actions =] Don't be too obvious about it, you know you can be like "Is she always nice to you..? Cos.. like.. She's always *insert problem here*".

Yeah once her friends/boyfriend know, they'll either -

1. Possibly be like your sister, and take her side and say go away, one way or another.

2. Feel sorry for you, let your sister know what shes doing is wrong and possibly tell her to shape up.

3. Look at your friend in a less brighter light. :P (we dont want this though)

Be tactical about it, try and make em feel sorry for you, and make them understand that they gotta fix this situation by feeling your anguish and sorrow. :P

Tell yah, this is how it all works, its what I did when I was kid, sort of. Good ol' days. Still is. =]
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