I Can't Say Goodbye

RawrImAPirate · 05-20-2007, 06:29 AM

Okayy, So 18 Months Today I Lost My Boyfriend Who Was My Closest Friend To Suicide, He Wasn't The Kind Of Guy You'd Eye Up In The Street But I Never Have Or Will Care About That He Meant Everything To Me . I Thought At First I Was Taking It Hardest , I Wasnt Sleeping And I Was Hearing Voices And Seeing His Body Covered In Blood Whenever I Looked In Windows , Mirrors, Or Anything Reflective , I Was Put On Medication For This 8 Months Ago And It Works 99% Of The Time , But Now I Really Seem To Be Taking It Harder, Im Not Eating Properly , Drinking , Sleeping Properly, Or Taking Care Of My Apperance ( Basically I Dont Mind If I Look Like A Complete ScruffBag ). Today I Went To A Huge Cathedral Near Liverpool City Center ( And Its Huge Has A Fucking Resturant In It And Stuff ) And I Lit A Candle For Him, And There Was this One Part Where You Write Something On A Heart And Stick It On A Metal Frame With All The Others And I Did That For Him And For The First Time Ever I Prayed.... And It Was To/For Him, I Do Talk To Him Sometimes But Today Was My First Proper Prayer . But Ever Scince I Prayed For Him Ive Had This Wierd Feeling Inside Me And I Dont Know What It Is Or What To Do , I Feel Like Now I Need Him More Then Ever , I Just Can't Let Go .

BabyJos · 05-20-2007, 06:36 AM

understandable dat u feel lyk dat, he obviously meant a lot 2 u n its hard 2 loose sum1 u love. jus fink about wot ur doin 2 urself tho coz its not gd 4 u. u neva let go of sum1 u love but u do move on n in tym dats wot u will do, jus stay strong n focus on wots in ur lyf right now. u will get thru dis.

cnt really comment on da whole prayer fingy, neva done it

pm me if u need 2 tlk about anyfing, at any tym

RawrImAPirate · 05-20-2007, 06:52 AM

Everythign I Did Today Reminded Me Of Him, From Around 8/9ish Til Just Now When I Came Back On, I Was Lying And Thinkin About OUr Last Day Together Before He Moved. We Skived School, Went To The Park, Just Lay On The Field Together Holding Hands, Pushed Eachother On The Swings, Went To The Local Wimpy , Shared A Coke, ... I Remember every Little Detail, What I Was Wearing, What He Was Wearing , It Was Pure Bliss .

BabyJos · 05-20-2007, 06:57 AM

made u happy den sad coz he was gone right?

keep dat thought in mind coz u dnt wana 4get him but fink of all da new, fun stuff u guna do, ur still very young, got loads more 2 experiance. ye i understand u aint feelin 2 great now but it will pass, jus wait it out, fink of sumfing else

hope dat helps