My parents. No, my father. He's a control freak. Once I made a well I was serious but I made it sound like a joke saying he was a control freak. took me 3 hours to stop crying.

Anyway. I'm 16 and I just want to tell you all my fathers' restrictions/rules/agreements?/demands.

Weekday curfew of 9:00. That is if I am aloud out on a weekday. I'm defintely afraid to ask most days because I usually get an hours worth of him talk/yelling or just plain lecturing me. Whether I get to go or not.

Weekend curfew of 10:00. They only exception is if I close at work at 10:30. But he's threatened me he would make me quit if I came home later than 11:00. (it takes me 10 min. to get home but what if I'm running late from work??)

Boys. I couldn't even hangout with boys until I was 16. Even if they are gay or way younger than me. There was not even a discussion. Now I'm aloud to date and be with boys, my dad is so intimidating It never seems worth it.

Weekends consist of 60% family, 30% work and 10% friends<< if that. Some weekends I am not able to see them AT ALL. Apparently I didn't spend enough time with my family. (Oh I didn't mention I can ONLY owrk on the weekends)

For school, my dad ALWAYS told me to do my best, however after I got straights A's a couple time its hard to please him. I'm enrolled in AP classes and he can barely accept a 'b' let alone a 'c' which is what my currant grade is in one class.
"Dad, its really hard." >> "No it isn't, you aren't trying."
Not only am I trying, I am struggling.

He's a hypocrit. He told me my freshman year that my curfew would start at 9:00 and each year got up and hour. Not so much.

One time I came home from work at 11:00. He told me that im not 21 so stop acting like it.

He wants me to cooperate in his lectures. I'm afraid to show any emotion, make any sound, say any words.

I snuck out a couple times. I got caught recently (not by him I was out after my town curfew and cop called my parents) and he said that maybe him saying "yes" too much led me to do that. o.O

Once, I was getting a passport. I never thought I would have to pay for it, I didn't care, let me add, if I had to pay for it. They just never told me. I found out by the slip of a tongue that they took money out of my account to pay for it. I got mad of course that he didn't tell me. so I stopped talking to him and he started picking on me: pulling my hair, poking me, teasing me. So i said stop and he yelled at me to go to my room. When he called me back out he said he didn't disserve to be treated with disrespect. (I swear I am not exaggerating this story one single bit)

I've told him over and over that I am moving out next summer. He actually agrees that i can, he doesn't believe I will, and he doesn't exactly know why i would want to.

I just can't do a lot of stuff. Most stuff people, my friends, do. I don't have out of control friends, at all. They're home by midnight, most of them are virgins, most have never touched alcohol.

My dad IS trying to protect me. He wants to keep me safe but Im so hurt by the things I don't get to do its killing out relationship. And i think its hurting me because now I want to do is experience things. I'm afraid I wont be smart adn take on to much to fast.

Please tell me what you think of this. I realize its a hella lot to read but I just need some outside voices.
Thanks so much.

Could you try to get your Mom to talk to him? Maybe get her on your side, try to talk some reason into him? That always worked for me.

My mom is a push over. She used to be on my side but now my dad does all the talking and she nods a long. Now really she is almost as bad as he is. Thanks though.

Thanks killwater, I will check out that site.

well, first u need to know that he is trying to protect u. but the thing is that in this age, u need to learn, and to learn u need to make some mistakes, but that's not gonna happen if u don't enter the real world, so what I thnik is that u have to talk to him, find a moment where he's not angry or anything, sit with him and open this discussion, don't yell at him or scream or anything, just be patient, and tell him what you feel, I'm actually having the same problem you are havin, except that my mom is the one who's not letting do all of this stuff, but of course my dad is always on her side.so what u need to do is talk to him and sort things out, cuz after u leave the house, all u're gonna remember is ur strict father, and then u and ur parents won't have that ideal relation ship that ur father is trying to make!
Best Wishes!

I think you should be grateful that you know that your father cares for you.

You are really really right. I do need to be thankful. But i'm so blind by all my anger at him, about how shut in I am and stuff, its hard for me. Its too much and I'm sorry that I can't but I just can't be grateful for the way I am treated.

I know he is trying to protect me. But like I said its too much. I'm shut in, unable to experience normal things. I've been told to talk to him before, but in this case where I would talk to him, I would suddenly become this horrible child that IS ungrateful and I don't want him to know that. Plus, I leave for college in a year, what's another year of this anyway? Maybe next year will be better... I can only hope.

I swear when I first saw it I added 'coke' to the end of your topic. My dumbass aside it sounds like you have a situation on your hands. Don't go for the gun or a knife, killing your parents isn't the answer. I know you didn't say it but who hasn't wanted to stab, or maim their in-laws... or parents. I digress; at least you only have 2 more years. Also as you said it seems he _might_ have the best intension's but clearly is not enacting them in a healthy or safe manner. At this point it is probably worth discussing this with someone (yay us, but more like a school councilor). I can tell you what I would do, but it's probably not what you should do. Go out and do pretty much what I want (I have a job right, yay money is a big step to freedom). Two steps though, first, take all your money out of your account so they can't, then only _cash_ your checks; hide all your money. Second, steal their money as necessary (since clearly they aren't respecting you, so fuck them). If you have siblings... obviously don't get them directly involved to avoid them taking your punishment if their is any. This situation really can't end pretty. You're mom will probably blame you if he goes to jail, also you guys will have a harder time supporting yourselves (unless your mother is the main provider). Honestly there isn't much to do except suck it up or make your own rules. Or lie and sneak out. Personally some combination is probably good, just watch out for yourself and if he ever hits you, kill him and/or tell the cops (well always tell the cops...).

And don't listen to fanfan. His treatment of (her?) is completely unacceptable (or mostly unacceptable?). So fuck that shit, if you think like that you will end up like you're mom watching your kids get beating and doing nothing like sacless piece of shit.

Wow. I love you, Methsnax. YOu are the only one who has given me such advice. Between my friends and random people. I have snuck out... about 4 times.. the 4th time I got caught by a cop. My dad has joint-control over my money. When I got caught he took it out of my account so I couldn't... leave the country. haha right. Anyway, I don't want to disappoint my parents in anyway so i suck it up mostly.... its all I can do. I would never steal their money I have no reason too. And I want a future. I plan to go to college and be a nurse so i don't want to screw that up.
My dad has never touched me. He's grabbed me in his anger but never hit me or my mom. So im not afraid of him in that way, but like I said he has WAYY to much control over my life and im sick of it.
I never thought about talking to a school councilor person. Thats a really good idea, I do want to talk to an adult because people my age are totally on my side but don't give me advice.

Thanks for your support it was muchly need.

Parents shouldnt take money out of your account without consent, thats not "protecting you". I'll be honest with you, from what I read, your father sounds like a part-time cunt. No offence.

Open another bank account, give your friends address for a yearly statement so your parents dont find out.

All the best. Hope things turn out for the better.