I made a thread about my close friend earlier. Every time I try to tell him that he's hurt me or something, he starts crying and makes me feel sorry for him. He's in England and I'm in Canada so he's always worried that I'm just going to cut all contact with him, which isn't difficult to do. I've been thinking about that a lot lately...

He says things like:

- I'm sorry (and cries)
- I'm such a horrible person (and cries)
- It's all my fault (and cries some more)
- He talks and apologizes to the stuffed animal I sent him (and cries)

Every time I feel hurt or am thinking I want to cut contact with him because he's hurt me one too many times, he gives me the sob story and starts bawling (saying all of the above and more).

Thoughts?

Ack, I know how that is. >.< Basically, what your friend is, and I hate using this term, is an attention whore. Yes, he may be getting upset, but it seems more like he's just trying to lure you in by making you feel bad for him.

If you still want to be friends with him, I suggest that you just try and be less supportive (Wow, I'm suprised I actually said that lol). He needs to learn that while you're his friend, and you'll help him sometimes, he can't always complain to you. Ya know? Also, it's obviously a bit of a stresser to you, and you shouldn't have to deal with all his problems. =/

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Oh Waat, I envy your awesomeness.

Did I mention he's 23?

Sounds manipulative or like he has something wrong in his head. He doesn't want you to go so he does what he can to bring you back.

I knew someone like that I was really close to. I don't know how things went for him, but he found a definition of borderline personality disorder that, from mine and his point of view, really fit him.

I don't know. It's just so difficult because I don't like making people feel bad...

I feel for you there. I once had a girlfriend who indirectly threatened suicide if I broke up with her. That was a tricky sitch.

Honestly, there's nothing you can do to change him. You can only cut your losses, and save yourself some drama.

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Love it when you call me Legs
In the morning, buy me eggs

Ah, I know how that feels. He's threatened that before as well...

But like I said before, he does so much for me and helps me a lot...

Hmm... it seems like he was really hurt at this time :|
As i said in your other thread he loves you a lot so he could act with his real face depresed or something like that and he try to share his feelings with you so he hurts you all the time but then he understand how bad is that for you and cries :\
try to talk to him... you have to do it... explain how you love him and say that!explain what make you feel bad but try to tell it without make him feel guilty because he may try to hurt you and in a time that he act like a crazy man...
Try to talk to him more like a person that love him a lot and be his psycologist :|

No, see, when you tell him he hurt you, he's the 1 to feel sorry for you, not for you to feel sorry for him.

This is kind of like, "person A criticizes person B logically." Person B should take it, rather than blame others, k?

Unless you have a girly guy, then I guess I could see what kind of sit you're in.

Okay, and, what is he sorry about? What is all his fault? Apologizes for what?

See, this scenario is all vague for us. But then, maybe I haven't been reading your earlier threads.

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A Christian once knew a guy who "abstained" from masturbation. A couple months later, he could no longer pee, and had to go to the doctor, whom milked out his glands. But then, he continued to abstain, and then, back to the doctor again..

He apologizes for being a horrible person, driving me away, etc etc.

Just as I thought, not over anything specific.

Remember, criticisms are to be as specific as possible.

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A Christian once knew a guy who "abstained" from masturbation. A couple months later, he could no longer pee, and had to go to the doctor, whom milked out his glands. But then, he continued to abstain, and then, back to the doctor again..

Ah, very true... When I apologize if I hurt him, he demands I be specific and refrain from using a 'blanket' apology.

That just sounds like is using you. There was this girl that likes me, and i used to talk to her. And if i didn't call she would make me apologize, and stuff like that. And if i did something like say something wrong she would just hang up and, then call 5 min later making me apologize for not calling back and saying sorry.

She would do the same thing as above, and then when she was like this guy keeps hurting me, and talk about other guys, i'd just not care. And she would get mad at me for it. I was being used, and that's what i think he is doing to you. I mean i don't know him but it sounds a lot like what she did to me. So if i were you i would just leave him, because if you keep talking to him like this, he will just burden you down. And don't tell him Okay if you do this one more time ill. That won't work because you will be doing that forever.

Sorry if its harsh.

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Wimp. Read what I posted on your other thread. He disgusts me, honestly. You're basically allowing yourself be victimized while sympathizing with the persecutor.

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