First, I'll describe the situation:
My mother and my step-father were together for 15 years. About 3 months ago, my mother left to Egypt to meet a guy she was talking to online. There was no warning, and she was still married to my step-dad. Now, she claims she's married to the guy in Egypt, even though the divorce to my step-dad isn't final. I'm not sure of the legal issues here, but nevertheless. She refuses to come back to the states so she can see me and my brother, and I refuse to travel out of the country to see a stubborn, neglectful mother. As if this weren't enough, it's the 5th time she's done it within 15 years.

So, my questions are:
1. Am I wrong for feeling anger towards her?
2. Am I wrong for feeling as though I would be, in a way, paying for her sins by traveling to a foreign culture to see her?

1. You are not wrongful in your feelings. You were betrayed by one of the most important people in your life. Hopefully, forgiveness will come to you eventually, but no, you are not wrong at all.
2. No. I understand what you're thinking. Its as if you're supporting her decision by going to see her.

I can honestly say if I was in this decision, I would not visit her. I would not give her that.

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You are not wrong to feel how ever you are feeling. You wouldnt be wrong not to get see her. If my mother even did that I would be sooo pissed and sad my mom left me. Dont feel like you are wrong. You can feel whatever you want. Maybe you can talk to your mom about these feelings though

This is my adults shouldnt use the internet lol!

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To a new beginning.

1. I feel anger towards your mother after hearing that
2. I would feel exactly the same as you.

Your mother needs to fix up the mess she has made, don't complicate your life any more than she already has.

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That is outrageous, I am so sorry this has happened. I can't believe she has done that, it's so irresponsible and she surely can't have been thinking about you at the time.

1. Am I wrong for feeling anger towards her?

No, you're not wrong at all. I think, in fact I know, I wouold be really angry at her as well. She's done something and not thought about the effects on you or the peaple in England. So, that's normal to feel angry
2. Am I wrong for feeling as though I would be, in a way, paying for her sins by traveling to a foreign culture to see her?

I understand this. In a way, I suppose you would be, because you're going to her, and not the other way. But then again, if you don't, will you see her again? If she's married someone else while being married, then she could be arrested as it's against the law. And her new marriage isn't even legally valid

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Aaron - Support Leader

There is nothing wrong with how you feel. It hurts to be abandoned like that, especially if it is your own mother, and I could imagine anyone would feel a bit of anger in such a situation. Have you been able to contact her? If so I think the only thing you can do is explain how you feel about the situation.

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It's hard, but we sometimes forget that even though people are our parents, they are just people like us. I'm sure you did not know just how her marriage was to your step-father or how the last few months had gone. She is not right to leave you and do this, as she has a responsibility to you to be a Mother, not just a woman. It sounds like she did something very selfish, and you have every right to be angry. Unless you want to, I would not go visit. You should hash out how you feel, come to peace with it, and then approach the situation again.

My Mom cheated on my Father when I was young and broke up our family. It has left me with major trust and abandonment issues in my relationships. I still have not gotten over it entirely, but I forgive her. In a way, my life is probably better now. You just have to keep on trucking.

Thanks much, everyone. I know I can feel however I wish, but I was wondering if I was being selfish, as my Mother claimed when I told her how I feel.

I'm really not sure if I would otherwise see her again, unless it's far in the present. But it seems to me, after all of this has unfolded, making her choose whether to see me or not would reveal a lot about whether it was just another mistake she made, or a display of how much she lacks in love for her children. And if she didn't come to her children, would it even be worth going to see her.

I thought so.

I'm really sorry to hear about your situation. I'm surprised that your mother has called you selfish, when in my opinion, she is the one who has not considered the outcome of what she has done. You have every right to be angry, because I know I would be.