Mom question.

Bebop · 07-06-2009, 01:28 PM

I don't really have much of a relationship with my mom. I mean, we make small talk every now and again because we're in the same house, but only rarely do we ever have a meaningful conversation. It's odd, I feel that I should be able to talk to her about anything really, almost like I have. I mean for god's sake it's my mom, she gave birth to me, shouldn't I at least feel the need to give her the time of day? But I don't, and I don't really seem to want to. I find that I don't tell her about my life, what I'm doing, what I want, anything, unless it's necessary.

My question is, while I realize that this is by no means normal, is there anything specifically wrong with it?

Alucard 117 · 07-06-2009, 01:29 PM

I have this exact same problem. Though it's more because my mom annoys me.

Stjowa · 07-06-2009, 01:30 PM

You are a teenager....

Just talk to your mother about this. Maybe she could help. Plus it could solve all the problems...

Just try to at least.

DareToDream · 07-06-2009, 01:38 PM

Start out small. When you come home from school or work, tell your mom about something you did that day. You can even say it nonchalantly if it makes it easier. Then once you establish some form of communication, you'll be able to confide in her more. I think it's worth trying for because usually moms have great things to say.

Stjowa · 07-06-2009, 01:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DareToDream

Start out small. When you come home from school or work, tell your mom about something you did that day. You can even say it nonchalantly if it makes it easier. Then once you establish some form of communication, you'll be able to confide in her more. I think it's worth trying for because usually moms have great things to say.

This but you could also let her know you feel you arent talking enough.
I do that with my mother sometimes. But then I am like ok go away!

DareToDream · 07-06-2009, 01:41 PM

It's just for me I wouldn't feel comfortable saying "I think we should talk more."
It's easier to just well, say what I want to say.

Bebop · 07-06-2009, 01:42 PM

You're missing the question. I'm not asking how to create a relationship my mother, I know how. I just don't really want to. And I want to know, outside of being abnormal, if there's anything wrong with that sentiment?

The Punisher · 07-06-2009, 01:42 PM

You should attempt to start off a conversation. Much like if you wanted to approach a stranger for any form of relationship. Ask her how her day was, if she did anything unique, ect. If your mother thinks you care its just natural to respond and open up.

To the question at hand, its not weird and nothing is wrong with this relationship. The two of you are just not close. Nothing wrong with that. But, later in life a relationship will be worth more with your parents and you dont want to lose out later due to ill preperation and kindness now.

Just my $.02

DareToDream · 07-06-2009, 01:45 PM

I think there's something a bit wrong with it, imo. I could understand if you two butt heads all the time, but you're just not even trying.

Stjowa · 07-06-2009, 01:46 PM

Nothing is wrong with it other than you dont want it to change. Just make sure she knows you love her and respect her. I just cant believe you dont want to talk to your mother. Get off the computer and talk to her. It is always great to talk to an elder. Plus if you get yourself into trouble then your mother, knowing you could help. If she doesnt know you then it makes it hard.

Bebop · 07-06-2009, 01:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Punisher

You should attempt to start off a conversation. Much like if you wanted to approach a stranger for any form of relationship. Ask her how her day was, if she did anything unique, ect. If your mother thinks you care its just natural to respond and open up.

To the question at hand, its not weird and nothing is wrong with this relationship. The two of you are just not close. Nothing wrong with that. But, later in life a relationship will be worth more with your parents and you dont want to lose out later due to ill preperation and kindness now.

Just my $.02

I don't know, it's weird. Her personality type is one that I would generally avoid in anyone else, the kind of person I don't go out of my way to be friends with, but because she's my mother, I feel like I have some kind of obligation to talk to her. Is that weird?

Stjowa · 07-06-2009, 01:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bebop

I don't know, it's weird. Her personality type is one that I would generally avoid in anyone else, the kind of person I don't go out of my way to be friends with, but because she's my mother, I feel like I have some kind of obligation to talk to her. Is that weird?

Oh... then thats normal lol. You love her but dont like her right?

Bebop · 07-06-2009, 01:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DareToDream

I think there's something a bit wrong with it, imo. I could understand if you two butt heads all the time, but you're just not even trying.

Refer to my reply to Punisher. There's just somethng in the way she thinks that in anyone else I would do my best to avoid being around them at all.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stjowa

Nothing is wrong with it. Just make sure she knows you love her and respect her. If my child didnt talk to his mother because he didnt want to it wouldnt be his mother he would have to worry about it would be his father. Get off the computer and talk to her. It is always great to talk to an elder.

I have no lack of respect for my mother, I just don't enjoy talking to her. And honestly, I have more of a relationship (granted nothing too special here either) with my step-father, who's been on and off anti depressants for years, and aside from that just a little kooky. With even more honesty, he holds no power in this family. None. It's all in mom's hands.

---------- Post added at 01:21 AM ---------- Previous post was at 01:20 AM ----------

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stjowa

Oh... then thats normal lol. You love her but dont like her right?

Essentially.

Stjowa · 07-06-2009, 01:53 PM

Oh... then just try your best to deal with her to the best of your ability and just continue talking to your step father. I dont know to be rude but you are probably like your father then because they got a divorce so he might not have been able to handle it either. Maybe something genetic passed from father to son. Idk though and I dont mean to be rude.

Bebop · 07-06-2009, 01:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stjowa

Oh... then just try your best to deal with her to the best of your ability and just continue talking to your step father. I dont know to be rude but you are probably like your father then because they got a divorce so he might not have been able to handle it either. Maybe something genetic passed from father to son. Idk though and I dont mean to be rude.

No offense taken. According to her, I'm more like my father, personality-wise, than should be possible given how old I was when they split (2 or 3 I think. I don't even remember it). You're probably onto something there.