Teen Forums




Go Back   Teen Forums » Teen Forums Life » Teen Advice

Reply
Old 05-19-2012, 05:29 PM   #1
New Member



 
whatamidoing's Avatar
 
Gender: Female
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 16
Money: 561
Last Online: 05-11-2013 02:11 AM




whatamidoing is on a distinguished road




Exclamation Hey I'm new here and I need some help!

Well okay... for starters, I am a 19-year-old female...And I really need to change a lot of things in my life. Well, mostly one thing... And I'm sorry.. this is going to be extremely long.

You see, this past summer (2011), I was introduced by a friend to the website chat roulette. At first I thought it was just kinda funny and interesting to be able to get on there at my friends house and talk to people from all over and see them while doing it. (Once you get past the nasties on the site, right?)

Well, when I got a new lap top with a web cam, I decided to get on chat roulette alone. During the summer, I didn't have much to do.. and we'll just blame it on the fact that a good portion of it, I didn't have a car because it was being fixed for a long time from a minor wreck.
Okay, cut to the chase...
I began to get on the site regularly, coming across guys who were obviously looking for some sexual entertainment (the nasties). Really, I was only looking for guys to talk to, but slowly the more they asked me to show my body, well the more closely I would come to doing it. After I did it the first time, I felt so badly. I felt like a horrible person and I really didn't want to do it again. But I still wanted to talk to people on there because surprisingly, I was able to find some decent conversation.
Well, it didn't take long before I did it again, and again I felt badly for it. It was a constant cycle-- back and forth between me really feeling low and then feeling wanted and enjoying compliments and attention from males.

My actions could likely be attributed to the fact that I don't have a 100% great relationship with my father. I've heard it before everywhere-- tv (Dr. Phil), wherever: girls with daddy problems crave attention from males. Well, I mean, I never really encountered that problem until now because I didn't date really at all in high school and for some reason didn't really feel this urge the same way.

The problem doesn't necessarily stop at chat roulette though, I've added many guys that I've me on CR (or omegle) onto skype.. I currently have 25 skype contacts. About 9 of them are friends/family/etc... the rest are strictly from the internet. And that, wow.. that is just crazy isn't it?

Granted, there are some contacts that I added and never spoke to again. Some I never had anything sexual online stuff going on with them, BUT just the fact that I have been seeking that much attention... it's just so sad to me. The worst of it being that I have deleted contacts only to add more, etc.

Approximately 9 of my current contacts I have done something sexual with on webcam, or maybe have even sent pictures (only underwear and bra, but still). But that's not including the ones I've deleted, or the guys I just never added and only did things with on the sites. I can count about 6 that I've deleted-- 3 of them being guys I've done something sexual with.

It has gotten as bad as creating some sort of relationships with some of them-- throwing "love" at one another, causing me to feel attachment to them (the guys always initiated it in some way). One from Italy, he is one I've deleted, would constantly hound me to help him masturbate. I felt so proud of myself from removing that out of my life, but then in came more. Most recently, I really began to like a guy from Australia, he told me he loved me and he became all I thought about, but I messed things up with him buy doing things with two different guys in one night and feeling so guilty that I admitted it to him. I felt so sick to my stomach with guilt, I literally almost threw up. But since he and I don't talk as much anymore (still unsure if he still thinks there is something between us or not), I have done stuff with MORE guys. So if he was still wanting to keep something between us, if he found that out... I doubt he'd want me anymore.

Tonight alone, I have spoken to two guys (one is a new contact, one has been around for a while) on skype. Showed one guy my bra, showed the other my breasts. And then spoke to a few other guys online. The one who has been around for a while, he has only ever wanted sexual favors for me, and do I comply? Yes, I do. Because he tells me I'm beautiful and hot and whatever else and I enjoy it. I want him to want me but I know why he wants me. And afterward I feel so used and sad and mad at myself and mad at him for only wanting that. Even while I'm doing it sometimes, even beforehand, I feel like crying, I feel like I shouldn't do it.

Anyway, enough of my stats, the point is... I have a problem. I am hoarding males to receive attention from and this is in no way okay and it doesn't make me feel any better. It makes me feel good for the time being, but at the end of the day I really have begun to dislike myself greatly for this. Especially because I've really driven myself far far away from God by doing this. I feel like I've tainted everything, I wanted to save myself for marriage and well, I know I really haven't had sex. But it's the whole principle of the thing...


The point is, I need help.

I'm sure I will be told to block these sites, delete skype, disable my webcam, etc. But I'm just like any other addict, I want help, but I don't know that I can do what it takes to get better.

What do I do?

whatamidoing is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 05-19-2012, 05:37 PM   #2
New Member



 
Name: Chris
Gender: Male
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 46
Money: 1,186
Last Online: 08-25-2012 02:45 PM


My Mood:


CallMeChris can only hope to improve




Re: Hey I'm new here and I need some help!

You don't have a problem you just need a guy who can show you something other than sex, and sex is important In a relationship but friendship should come first. The right guy will come to you and those can sites won't be that place.
CallMeChris is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
Friends & Partners



Old 05-20-2012, 01:23 AM   #3
New Member



 
leijona's Avatar
 
Gender: Female
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Finland
Posts: 49
Money: 599
Last Online: 05-24-2012 03:38 PM


My Mood:


leijona will become famous soon enough




Re: Hey I'm new here and I need some help!

dude what a story
leijona is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 05-20-2012, 02:38 AM   #4
New Member



 
whatamidoing's Avatar
 
Gender: Female
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 16
Money: 561
Last Online: 05-11-2013 02:11 AM




whatamidoing is on a distinguished road




Re: Hey I'm new here and I need some help!

Quote:
Originally Posted by leijona View Post
dude what a story
Um well thanks, I guess.. but really I don't know what to do about all of this.
whatamidoing is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 05-20-2012, 05:30 AM   #5
Member



 
Dwemer's Avatar
 
Name: Lelouch
Gender: Male
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: In a dreamworld
Posts: 395
Money: 12,391
Last Online: Today 04:53 PM




Dwemer has much to be proud ofDwemer has much to be proud ofDwemer has much to be proud ofDwemer has much to be proud ofDwemer has much to be proud ofDwemer has much to be proud ofDwemer has much to be proud of




Re: Hey I'm new here and I need some help!

I understand what your going through and that it must be pretty hard. But the fact you already are able to talk about this is a good thing.
Dwemer is online now  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 05-21-2012, 09:14 AM   #6
New Member



 
whatamidoing's Avatar
 
Gender: Female
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 16
Money: 561
Last Online: 05-11-2013 02:11 AM




whatamidoing is on a distinguished road




Re: Hey I'm new here and I need some help!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dwemer View Post
I understand what your going through and that it must be pretty hard. But the fact you already are able to talk about this is a good thing.
Yeah thanks, not sure if talking about it anonymously on a forum really counts as "talking about it" because I don't think I'd be able to talk to anyone about face to face.. :/
whatamidoing is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 05-22-2012, 07:30 PM   #7
Super Senior Member



 
black.star's Avatar
 
Name: Sharitha
Gender: Female
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Netherlands.
Posts: 2,229
Money: 12,618
Last Online: 03-29-2013 08:48 PM


My Mood:


black.star has a reputation beyond reputeblack.star has a reputation beyond reputeblack.star has a reputation beyond reputeblack.star has a reputation beyond reputeblack.star has a reputation beyond reputeblack.star has a reputation beyond reputeblack.star has a reputation beyond reputeblack.star has a reputation beyond reputeblack.star has a reputation beyond reputeblack.star has a reputation beyond reputeblack.star has a reputation beyond reputeblack.star has a reputation beyond repute




Re: Hey I'm new here and I need some help!

You dont have to delete them if you like to talk with them but just then only talk without a webcam and if you think youll do it again then get ur webcam off ur computer or uninstall it so you cant even use it, and if you want to get it again youll remember why you put it away.

You just indeed need a relationship, someone who cares about you and stays with you also and not only for sex, just be patient for that better. Those guys on that site do it for fun and such not to have something serious ofcourse and in my opinion that does only make it worse.
__________________
It's the missing that will kill you,
knowing you've missed your shot.
black.star is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 05-23-2012, 09:04 PM   #8
New Member



 
Name: Ajay
Gender: Male
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 11
Money: 628
Last Online: 08-15-2012 08:33 AM


My Mood:


aj227 is on a distinguished road




Re: Hey I'm new here and I need some help!

Well i completely agree with black.star here . You need someone who will care about you , who will really like you . Well I understand you are craving for attention and its normal . Who doesn't like it when someone says good things about you .


But you do need to realise that you need to get out there , find someone who cares and be patient with him , because sites such as Omegle are just there for people who are looking to talk about sex and have fun ..

Just control yourself okay . Dont get too involved in all these things , and you ll be fine
aj227 is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 05-25-2012, 09:37 PM   #9
New Member



 
whatamidoing's Avatar
 
Gender: Female
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 16
Money: 561
Last Online: 05-11-2013 02:11 AM




whatamidoing is on a distinguished road




Re: Hey I'm new here and I need some help!

Quote:
Originally Posted by aj227 View Post
Well i completely agree with black.star here . You need someone who will care about you , who will really like you . Well I understand you are craving for attention and its normal . Who doesn't like it when someone says good things about you .


But you do need to realise that you need to get out there , find someone who cares and be patient with him , because sites such as Omegle are just there for people who are looking to talk about sex and have fun ..

Just control yourself okay . Dont get too involved in all these things , and you ll be fine

Yeah, I agree with black.star and you as well.. Thanks guys!

PS. sorry I'm just now getting on.. haven't been on the computer much this week.
whatamidoing is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 05-29-2012, 06:29 AM   #10
New Member



 
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 24
Money: 390
Last Online: 05-29-2012 08:40 AM




Ocean11 is on a distinguished road




Re: Hey I'm new here and I need some help!

you wrote too much
Ocean11 is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes


 
Friends and Partners



All times are GMT +6.5. The time now is 07:59 PM. Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Content Relevant URLs by vBSEO 3.3.2
vBCredits v1.4 Copyright ©2007 - 2008, PixelFX Studios
Ad Management by RedTyger