I have a friend (let's all him Paul) who is in love with me. The problem is I'm in a realashionship with a guy (lets call him James) who is totally AMAZING & does so many amazing things & I really love him & he really loves me. Now the other day James did something stupid. Now at the time Paul & I were really good friends so we talked about EVERYTHING so I complained a little about he stupid thing James did & that's when it all started. Paul told me I would be better off without James & I should dump him. I disagreed but then the conversation continued. Now Paul has some sexuality issues & wants to be a girl. So we were talking about feminist stuff. & then he asked me about the biggest thing i can fit inside my hoo-haa. I answered him & he then told me how he was so turned on & how much he loves me & wants to be with me. After a few days paul kept telling me to leave James and I told him 2 stop for he 5th time and he responded with "ud rather choose that sh*t over me. Interesting. Never talk to me again" & Ive been trying to get in contact with him but I have not gotten any responses. He talked to my best friend saying he was an idiot & his feelings are really hurt. But I dont think he's realised how bad he's made me feel.
I feel really guilty because about a year ago Paul and I went out. But I ended it because i didn't feel that there was any spark. I had thought by now he would be over it. Due to the fact that we went out for a week. but one year later and we're not talking to each other due to his sting feelings for me. What should I do. I want to talk to him so bad. I just don't know what to say and what to do. He's left me with some issues that I need to solve because at the moment I have a bad headspace due to the issue. And the last thing I want to do is breakup with James. Please. I need some advice on what to do.

Well by the things he says about your boyfriend, that you should leave him and such is just probably because he is jealous and ofcourse he rather wants to be your boyfriend. But don't let him tell you what you need to do with that relationship with James, it's nice if he would give a bit of advice but how he acts there is just like he just wants you for himself.
You should better talk to James himself if you feel mad/sad or anything what went wrong, the problems can always be solved by talking about it.

And for Paul, all you can do is just tell him that you just want to stay friends with him and don't want any relationship with him and just see how he will respond. For a lot of people it's just not that easy to stay friends with someone you like and they don't like you back, if he doesn't respond just give him time.

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I can understand Paul's viewpoint. I know it may be hard for you because you just want to be his friend (I've been in this situation a few times) but he can't get over you for whatever reason, which is understandable. He obviously feels like he can't get over you without some space, as teh close relationship you guys have is confusing for him. Perhaps what he said was harsh, but he feels like if he is a dick to you (by saying that), you won't want to speak to him either. I know you miss your Paul, but if you're really his friend you'll give him the time and space he needs to sort his head out.

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