These past few days have really helped me to see something that most people tried and tried to imply into my head. I never really paid attention to it because I never really experienced the stuff they did or went through.
People always told me to tell those that I love that I loved them when I had the chance. Because people can leave faster and sooner before you can even mention you love them.
I spent like ten years with my great grandmother. She was always there for me when I needed someone to just talk to. About stuff other people would question. I remember clearly when I got hurt she would bandage me up and make sure I was okay. Or how at random moments she would reach into her purse and pull out two dollars for my brother and me. Little did I know, she was suffering from cancer. I guess I was just too young to understand it.
The doctors told us that she would only live for a while. I was at her house when she got rushed to the hospital. I was planning to see her come back home but she didn't. I got woke up at 2:45 in the morning to hear she was dying. I told her I loved her plenty times when she was alive but not enough. I believed in god during these times. I cried for about ten minutes cussing god out, telling him not to take her away. That I needed her more than anything. And about 3:10 I told god to take her because she was suffering in the hospital bed. At 3:15, she died.
I wish to this day I told her everyday I loved her, more than life itself. I regret that so much. As I grew up from that experience, I realised that life was extremely short. That our time here was limited. I began to tell those I loved that I loved them more than life at every chance I got. I have lost a lot of family members and friends from sickness and suicide. Not a day goes by that I wish I could have told them I loved them.
I lost one best friend that I miss more than life now. I never really told him that I loved him. I did but not enough. I just think, blah at the moment you don't understand what it's like to lose something. I do now.