Teacher & Student Jokes

Timmarus · 08-29-2008, 12:32 AM

TEACHER: Cindy, why are you doing your Maths sums on the floor?
CINDY: You told me to do it without using tables!
TEACHER: George can you count up to 5?
George count up to 5 slowly using his Fingers.
TEACHER: Good, now can you count any higher?
George put up his hand and count to five again using his fingers.
TEACHER: John, how do you spell "crocodile"?
JOHN: "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
JOHN: Maybe it's wrong, but you ask me how I spell it!
TEACHER: What is the chemical formula forwater?
SARAH: "HIJKLMNO"!!
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
SARAH: Yesterday you said it's H to O!
TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.
GEORGE: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
CLASS: George!
TEACHER: Willy, name one important thing we have today that we
didn't have ten years ago.
WILLY: Me!
TEACHER: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty?
TOMMY: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground then you are.
TEACHER: Why are you late?
WEBSTER: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
WEBSTER: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
SILVIA: Dad, can you write in the dark?
FATHER: I think so. What do you want me to write?
SYLVIA: Your name on this report card.
TEACHER: In this box, I have a 10-foot snake.
SAMMY: You can't fool me, Teacher... snakes don't have feet.
TEACHER: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?
JOSE: Don't bite any.
TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I".
ELLEN: I is...
TEACHER: No, Ellen. Always say, "I am."
ELLEN: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
MOTHER: Why on earth did you swallow the money I gave you?
JUNIOR: You said it was my lunch money.
TEACHER: If I had seven oranges in one hand and eight oranges
in the other, what would I have?
CLASS COMEDIAN: Big hands

Brought it on Yourself...

"If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up?"
said the sarcastic teacher. After a long silence, one freshman rose
to his feet.

"Now then mister, why do you consider yourself an idiot?" inquired
the teacher with a sneer.

"Well, actually I don't," said the student, "but I hate to see you
standing up there all by yourself."

I TAKE NO CREDIT FOR THESE JOKES!

Mayank · 08-29-2008, 02:03 PM

dokueki · 08-29-2008, 05:32 PM

Nice haha I knew some of those

Mariami · 08-29-2008, 07:05 PM

Rofl