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Old 07-02-2012, 08:16 PM   #1
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Is my boyfriend possessive?

To be honest I have only begun to think that he may be possessive, but am not certain and would appreciate an unbiased opinion. I have been with him for 4-5 months now.

He wants to do absolutely everything with me (go to the gym, come to my lectures and other uni stuff, come out with my friends, study together, visit me at work) I make up reasons for him not to come because i need personal space and need to see friends, he sulks and gets upset then makes me feel guilty about it.

He notices when I like another guys profile picture on Facebook, and gets upset. My guy friend posted on my wall a compliment, he was also upset and jealous about this and told me that he disliked my friend and didn't trust him (he's never met him)

I am planning to go away to stay with a friend and her boyfriend at the end of the month. when he found out that a guy was there he said "i dont like the idea of you going, i thought she lived with family".

He calls me a lot, if I dont answer he will keep on calling and then will ask why I didn't answer. I make up reasons about my phone not working.

He once got upset that I went out with all of my girlfriends to a club without him, he sulked the whole weekend and barely talked to me..

In general he just acts very childish and jealous about small things, sulking and getting depressed if he is unhappy with me. I was very happy with him at the start of the relationship, but am not anymore. Are these all possesive traits?
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Old 07-02-2012, 09:04 PM   #2
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Re: Is my boyfriend possessive?

Yes. It sounds like he is easily jelous of everything that threatens the relationship, even the tiniest things. You need to have a serious talk to him about this, and if he cares for you that much hopefully after explaining to him he will truely care for your best interests and what you want.
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Old 07-02-2012, 09:21 PM   #3
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Re: Is my boyfriend possessive?

Well, it sounds like that, but on the other hand ladies in relationships tend to behave too freely, and do not understand why BFs get jealous.
Let ask you a question, why don't you take him to stay at you friends and her BF?
For you it seems obvious, but you are actually leaving him, huh??
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Old 07-02-2012, 09:23 PM   #4
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Re: Is my boyfriend possessive?

Peter, i think Christina wants to spend some time with her friends, away from her boyfriend, spending to much time with one person is not healthy.
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Old 07-03-2012, 01:21 AM   #5
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Re: Is my boyfriend possessive?

Consider the opposite. How would you feel if he likes the profile pictures of other girls? Posting compliments? How would you feel if he went off on a trip with a guy and girl?

From what I read, he isn't possessive. Clingy, maybe needy, jealous. But not possessive. Balance things out. Tell him that you can't call him, so text him. Invite him with you.

And he sulked about you going to to a nightclub with your friends! NO KIDDING! It sounds like you're willing to give very little in this relationship, and consequentially he feels like shit because he can't talk to you or even spend time with you.

Consider his side and his reasons. You might be all like "oh I need my time with friends." If that was really true, you wouldn't need a boyfriend at all. But for him, it sounds like all he really wants is more time with just you.
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Old 07-03-2012, 01:26 AM   #6
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Re: Is my boyfriend possessive?

Yes, he is being possessive. I have this problem as well. Try and speak to him about it, if he doesn't stop it, then its your decision. If you can put up with someone who is like that then go ahead with the relationship, it also shows that he cares for you. Would you rather have someone who didn't care what you got up to? Who never got in touch with you? Just don't let him control you as that may lead to problems.
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Old 07-03-2012, 01:27 AM   #7
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Re: Is my boyfriend possessive?

How would you feel if he ignored your calls?
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Old 07-03-2012, 01:36 AM   #8
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Re: Is my boyfriend possessive?

Well ..
Yeah he is possessive, but to be honest you making excuses all the time aren't helping.
Don't make up reasons for him not to come, don't make excuses about the phone calls, you don't really have to like other guys photos.

Just be straight with him & talk to him.
Tell him if he really loves you then he needs to give you some space.
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Old 07-03-2012, 01:39 AM   #9
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Re: Is my boyfriend possessive?

Quote:
Originally Posted by BethanylikestoBabble View Post
Tell him if he really loves you then he needs to give you some space.
Are you serious
That doesn't even make sense
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Old 07-03-2012, 01:41 AM   #10
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Re: Is my boyfriend possessive?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hipster View Post
Are you serious
That doesn't even make sense
It makes perfect sense?
She needs space to breathe, instead he's suffocating her ..
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Old 07-03-2012, 03:29 AM   #11
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Re: Is my boyfriend possessive?

So does she want a relationship or not? it seems like she doesn't understand the concept.
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Old 07-03-2012, 06:55 AM   #12
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Re: Is my boyfriend possessive?

i want the relationship, i hang out with him a lot but its suffocating. He wants to see me 24/7, and i can't manage that. I have other friends and other commitments (including work and study) so instead of hurting his feelings i make up reasons why we can't do things together, because he goes into really bad depressions that I am finding hard to handle.

When i like another guys profile picture (which is extremely rare) its usually because theyre a close old friend that I have had for years. The guy in the case that i talked about here was someone i maybe talk to every few months.. I haven't even seen him in years :/

And the trip im going on.. Its only for a week and shes my best friend, shes a 2 years older older than me and her and her bf have been together for 4 years. I don't see anything wrong with going, I'm not planning to cheat on my boyfriend with her boyfriend..

I take my boyfriend out to meet my friends, but I am entitled to to hang out with them alone. He gets upset about this. I have nothing against him talking to them and going out with us, but not every single time, which he seems to get upset about.

The time i went to the night club was not planned. Originally it was just dinner with all of my girlfriends, but then after they went to the club and had a few drinks, nothing happened and we left afterwards. I would have nothing against my boyfriend if he wanted to have drinks with his guy friends. I can understand him being upset about this.. but the thing is I apologized, went to the movies with him.. and he said barely a word the whole time and wouldn't talk to me, choosing to look depressed and be upset for that whole weekend.

---------- Post added at 05:54 AM ---------- Previous post was at 05:53 AM ----------

Dexter.. When someone calls you all day its easy to ignore someones calls. I have to work and study and talk to other people too.

---------- Post added at 05:55 AM ---------- Previous post was at 05:54 AM ----------

I spend lots of time with him.. but its never enough for him..
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Old 07-03-2012, 09:45 AM   #13
 
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Re: Is my boyfriend possessive?

Does your boyfriend have friends of his own to hang out with? Suggest to him to hang out with them, while you do things on your own. Try making a date with him a few days in advance and tell him you have plans until your date. Make sure he feels like you want to be with him, but also allow yourself some time away from him. A little time away from each other won't hurt your relationship as long as you both put in the effort to make it work. Make sure he knows that when you're out with your friends that it's harmless, maybe he just needs a little more reassurance.

And if all of it doesn't work, maybe you both want different things in a relationship. Perhaps his intentions for a relationship are far more serious than yours. Maybe sit down and talk about exactly what intentions you both want out of your relationship, if they don't see eye to eye, maybe it is time to pursue other people.
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