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Old 07-28-2012, 09:37 AM   #1
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Girl keeps talking to me

Hey guys, this topic isn't about to get into a relationship, more of trying to politely avoid it. Much appreciated if you guys had some helpful advice, so here's the problem:

I go to this youth group every week, and some couple months back we went camping. I met this girl- or more like she introduced herself to me(it was like a 3 second introduction since I seriously had no interest in meeting anyone new at the time). I went home from camp and she added me on facebook and started to talk to me on chat. So the first couple minute(within 3-4 minutes) she mentioned that I was the only guy she felt comfortable talking to even though we hardly know each other/barely met.. she said some pretty personal stuff of how she felt about me here and then, but never mentioned she liked me. She keeps talking to me everyday and even though I politely talk to her, I don't like to be bothered and it gets really annoying. It's been a month or two right now and she still keeps talking to me, even though I even shut her off by saying "Hey, sorry, I'm busy right now. I'm playing video games" which is supposedly the biggest turn off. She also wants to go to the movies with me, which I don't want to and I don't know a polite way to reject it. I'm just super nice and I don't want to hurt her.

Someone help, please! Sorry if the story is a little messy..hopefully you guys can comprehend.
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Old 07-28-2012, 10:25 AM   #2
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Re: Girl keeps talking to me

Tell her that you have a girlfriend already.
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Old 07-28-2012, 10:33 AM   #3
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Re: Girl keeps talking to me

If you have a girlfriend, just tell her. If you don't have a girlfriend, still tell her that you do and she will hopefully stop.
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Old 07-28-2012, 10:46 AM   #4
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Re: Girl keeps talking to me

So your guy's advice is to lie to her? Very nice.
Like others have said, if you're in a relationship, say it. If you're not, just tell her that you're not looking for a relationship (or maybe she's just looking for a friendship).
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Old 07-28-2012, 01:49 PM   #5
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Re: Girl keeps talking to me

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Originally Posted by Hipster View Post
So your guy's advice is to lie to her? Very nice.
Like others have said, if you're in a relationship, say it. If you're not, just tell her that you're not looking for a relationship (or maybe she's just looking for a friendship).
Yeah I wouldn't really want to lie. I try avoiding it, because usually what goes around comes around.

No I'm not, being single is great, at least at the moment. Yeah I would say that if she mentioned that she liked me or somewhat similar scenery... I can't just flat out say "I'm not looking for a relationship" in a casual conversation. If friendship is what she wants, I can't do that. I'm honestly very occupied. I hardly like to hang out with people unless they are close friends. Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to give you guys an image of myself that I am anti-social. Like I said I'm super friendly, also outgoing, funny, etc. etc. It's just that I would really like my own personal space. Nothing anything against her, just personal preference.
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Old 07-28-2012, 02:25 PM   #6
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Re: Girl keeps talking to me

im like that two. especially with guys who i don't want to date anymore.
But you should tell her that your not interested into a movie. And if she asks you about doing something different, just say, i really don't want to. sorry.
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Old 07-28-2012, 02:34 PM   #7
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Re: Girl keeps talking to me

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im like that two. especially with guys who i don't want to date anymore.
But you should tell her that your not interested into a movie. And if she asks you about doing something different, just say, i really don't want to. sorry.
What if she asks to watch a different movie or reschedule it?

Also, the same problem applies: How do, I apologize for the rudeness, get her off my dick? It's been going on for too long, and I figured I can't quietly slip away.
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Old 07-28-2012, 02:45 PM   #8
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Re: Girl keeps talking to me

Given the chance, why not have another friend? And to say "get off my dick", my god. You sound arrogant.
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Old 07-28-2012, 02:55 PM   #9
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Re: Girl keeps talking to me

Quote:
Originally Posted by Walkingbox View Post
What if she asks to watch a different movie or reschedule it?

Also, the same problem applies: How do, I apologize for the rudeness, get her off my dick? It's been going on for too long, and I figured I can't quietly slip away.
good point. just stop talking to her. then maybe, she'll go away.
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Old 07-28-2012, 03:01 PM   #10
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Re: Girl keeps talking to me

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Originally Posted by Hipster View Post
Given the chance, why not have another friend? And to say "get off my dick", my god. You sound arrogant.
I suppose having another friend is fine, but let me explain myself. I have a bestfriend, close friends, and just friends. Friends would just mean casual talks here and there, but I hardly have any attention to them. Close friends are people who I value for their strong bond characteristics with deeper conversation, I only occasionally like to hang out with them. My bestfriend is who- doesn't matter if I'm sick, in a bad day, terrible mood, I'd still make time to hang out with because even in a bad mood, I'd still enjoy hanging out with him in the end. She is my friend under my own definition of friend, but she clings on to me too much, she talks to me literally everyday of every minute, every time I go on facebook, on my phone, etc.


You have a baseless assumption, I did explain why I said that as well as apologize. At least, I said it in a matured manner. I'm sorry if it did offend you, and sorry if frustration wasn't a good enough excuse to act out that way.
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Old 07-28-2012, 03:55 PM   #11
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Re: Girl keeps talking to me

Quote:
Originally Posted by Walkingbox View Post
I suppose having another friend is fine, but let me explain myself. I have a bestfriend, close friends, and just friends. Friends would just mean casual talks here and there, but I hardly have any attention to them. Close friends are people who I value for their strong bond characteristics with deeper conversation, I only occasionally like to hang out with them. My bestfriend is who- doesn't matter if I'm sick, in a bad day, terrible mood, I'd still make time to hang out with because even in a bad mood, I'd still enjoy hanging out with him in the end. She is my friend under my own definition of friend, but she clings on to me too much, she talks to me literally everyday of every minute, every time I go on facebook, on my phone, etc.


You have a baseless assumption, I did explain why I said that as well as apologize. At least, I said it in a matured manner. I'm sorry if it did offend you, and sorry if frustration wasn't a good enough excuse to act out that way.
Yes, it is baseless. Understand that this is a teen forum; half the people who post say they love their bf/gf one month after they date, or come asking what is a suitable 1 year gift.

She is your "friend under the definition of friend", only because you don't want to see her as anything else (and you have your own reasons). Don't want to talk to her? Let her down then, tell her you're busy. Better yet, stop using facebook. Text her less and less. Without knowing much of a story, I'm free to form my own opinion, so I can only imagine that she'll be the one hurt.
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Old 07-28-2012, 08:40 PM   #12
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Re: Girl keeps talking to me

I think you should stop beating around the bush and just tell her.

Hey look I'm not interested in being a friend or anything like that.
Don't be rude. Just say I have those close people in my life that I think
as friends and that is all I really want. Just because you don't want to
be friends with her doesn't mean you have to be a jerk with her.


Then after you tell her, stop communication. No messages,No text messages, no facebook
none. You keep talking to her which makes her think, oh he enjoys talking to me just like I enjoy talking to him.
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Old 07-29-2012, 09:45 AM   #13
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Re: Girl keeps talking to me

Just be upfront say I am sorry but I do not return your feelings. & you need to move on bc on not the guy for you. And it would be a waste if time for the both of us. It sounds like shes obsessed with you. You can't be nice to her or se she won't stop being a creeper
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Old 07-29-2012, 10:03 AM   #14
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Re: Girl keeps talking to me

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Just be upfront say I am sorry but I do not return your feelings. & you need to move on bc on not the guy for you. And it would be a waste if time for the both of us. It sounds like shes obsessed with you. You can't be nice to her or se she won't stop being a creeper

I guess I do have to tell her upfront, there's no way of trying to run away from it. I thought of something like this, I just didn't know how to tell her in a pleasant way. I guess there isn't a nice way, rather just ways that hurts less- like just sugarcoating the worst, you know? Why I'm uncomfortable of this is because same thing happened to me where I was the victim. It's not a nice feeling being stomped by the person that you enjoyed being with, so I was counting on a way where she wouldn't experience the pain that I had. Never mind that, thank you guys.
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Old 07-29-2012, 10:27 AM   #15
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Re: Girl keeps talking to me

Just stop talking to her. Its not like you see her in person, so it would be really easy to ignore her
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