Need Help with asking out a girl!

qwerty123456789 · 08-09-2012, 01:10 PM

So way back in December last year during my school break, I was randomly looking through my Facebook news feed and saw a picture of my friend of mine (not really friends, more just like we know each other) with this really cute girl (well I think she is anyway, some of my friends beg to differ). I didn't know who she was, but found out just her name because of the tag on the photo.

Time passed and I started to like her more and more, even though I've never talked to her (I recall randomly seeing her around school but never paid attention). Once school started in February, I kept seeing her walk by and stuff like that. I decided to send her a friend request on Facebook, but she didn't accept. At the end of the first week, I decided to ask her friend (the friend who the photo I first saw belonged to) and asked for help. She told me a little bit about her friend (like her interests etc) but also told her friend didn't like asians (I'm asian btw-and the girl herself is also half asian). Then the friend kind of decided to ask her out for me out of nowhere (I didn't ask her to, but she decided to) and the friend said she wasn't interested as she doesn't even know who I am. I was left devastated. It was weird, I've never even talked to her but I just portrayed an image of her in my head and kinda fell for it.

Anyway forward to now. 6 Months has passed but I still really like her. After the whole thing, she ended up accepting my facebook friend request but I think she blocked me on chat. To this date, I still haven't talked to her as there is never a chance to get to know her. She's a year above me, we have different friends and don't share any activities. However, by now I'm pretty sure she knows who I look like etc because she and her friends often walk past where I hang out. Even though I barely know her (only based on what her friend told me about her), I'm liking her more and more everyday and it's driving me nuts. However, the problem is I can't befriend her because we have no sort of social connections except for her friend, but I have a feeling she isn't too keen to help (after the whole thing where she tried to help me, she said we will probably never be able to become anything) and I haven't talked to her since either.

I'm not a good looking guy (I'd say below average-average) while she's very pretty (I'd say above average) but I generally think I have a somewhat good personality and I treat girls well (I never mock them or think they're inferior etc) only she doesn't know this. I also know that she's never had any boyfriends or anything and her date for her prom was more of like a friends thing. Most of my friends think I have absolutely no chance with her as there is no way to get to know her, and I'm near 100% sure they're right. I feel like my only shot is to straight up ask her out, and hope for the best (considering she said she wasn't interested back then, can't think of a reason why she will say yes now as we still don't really know each other) but I know it's going to be a rejection and I don't want to leave her creeped out etc by this (it is weird for someone to randomly ask you out for a date). What do you guys think? Is there anything I can do or is it the obvious "time to move on"?

Takumi Usui · 08-09-2012, 02:15 PM

Well judging by what ou wrote you havent yourself ask her out. Your friend did which sucks and sets a bad impression about you.

Your friend says she doesn't date asians might mean a lot about what she thinks about asians in general being that she is asian. Raises questions like; Would she like an asian?

Never having a boyfriend also might show how cautious she is and probably picky she is (or mayb she is just plain shy like you on approaching guys she dont know).

I'd say right now you should ask her out yourself. Chances are she'll think about it and know who you are, instead of that creek who added her on facebook and stares at her when she walks by.

If she does deny you, "I'd suggest deleting her off your facebook, like you said you both don't share anything.

I hope that helps. Hmu if you have any questions

Megs · 08-09-2012, 02:31 PM

I say this with the best intentions... Do not ask her out (right now)— you have never spoken to her, you do not know her, she does not know you. As a girl, if a guy I've never ever met randomly walks up and asks me out, I'd say no. As Takumi said, your friend asking her out for you probably didn't set a great impression either. For the best shot, get to know her. Talk to your mutual friend, say "hey, I'd be interested in getting to know her better, do you think you could maybe introduce us?" or whatever; maybe hangout with both of them? I dunno, but absolutely don't just ask her having never even met her.. It's awkward, weird, and a bit creepy.

Sorry for the brutal honesty, figured sugar coating it wouldn't get the point across as well

qwerty123456789 · 08-09-2012, 04:02 PM

@Takumi Usui-Thanks for the reply! And yeah I felt like it deff did put a bad image, but I really couldn't do much about it. And I thought long and hard about the asian thing, and I have no idea by how much she doesn't like asians. But I sometimes see her at school, and I've never seen her hanging out with an asian person. And yeah I'm considering asking her out, but the only problem is, how am I supposed to deliver it? By now she knows who I am, but we've never talked. I can't just be like "hey I'm that creep who asked you out in february through the mutual friend, do u want to go out?" ya know?

@meg.loomis-Thanks for the reply and I liked how you were clearly honest with me! The problem I see is that I've never talked to her, but she already knows I like her and I think it's quite awkward between us. The whole "start talking and becoming friends thing" will probably never work as she will always know I like her etc. I feel like I either have to ask her out and see what she says. The problem is, that mutual friend isn't really a friend of mine. It's actually by best mate's sister, and until this all happened, I've actually never talked to her. And since this all happened, we haven't talked once. So really, in her mind, it seems like I just used her to try get with this chick. There has been many times where I've wanted to talk with the mutual friend and try become friends with her, but I never had the guts to and I feel like it's now too late.

It's also worth noting that I coincidentally meet this girl a lot at school. I'm not some creep who stalks her or anything but I often see her when I'm walking to the courts etc. And everytime I see her, I feel like we meet eye and eye and it gets more awkward. The other day, she was right there when I got off the bus and we walked in silence, side by side for like 30 seconds. I feel like the longer I spend doing nothing, the more awkward its going to get.

qwerty123456789 · 08-11-2012, 03:39 PM

Hey guys still need help!

Megs · 08-11-2012, 10:56 PM

She's still pretty much guaranteed to say no if you just randomly ask her out.
You have gotten yourself in a pretty tight spot LOL. There's not really any winning here.

ConfusedGirl · 08-12-2012, 12:01 AM

I had been through somthing like this. I liked this guy like crazy for a WHOLE YEAR. I ended up dating him after 2 years. But he wasn't a good guy and i let the rp go on for 2 years cuz i loved him so much. I'm hurt now, terribly .
I think you deserve better .
Move on man.
She ain't the only woman on earth. I know how you feel. Consider yourself more important, or you'll get hurt. Thats what happend to me. :/
Good Luck.

YO_VANILLA · 08-12-2012, 12:08 AM

There is only one way to get to know her you have to talk to her. It keeps getting more awkward seeing her because you keep staring at her and won't talk to her. I don't think that you two are locking eyes when you pass each other, she is probably looking at you like "why the doest this kid keep looking at me?"

qwerty123456789 · 08-13-2012, 03:24 PM

I know if I just randomly ask her out, it won't work. I mean hell if some chick randomly asked me out I'll probably say no unless she's someone who seems awesome or is really hot :P Anyway back to topic, when I say ask out, I don't mean like "hey lets become gf/bf" kinda thing, I mean like ask her on a date and explain that I've liked her and I want one chance with her kind of thing.

Megs · 08-14-2012, 01:13 AM

She would still probably say no though.. If some dude (you said you're younger too?) in the grade below me who I have never ever spoken to just cane up to me and said "hey let's go get lunch", I would shut him down. No questions asked.

SlimJimma · 08-14-2012, 10:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by qwerty123456789

I'm not a good looking guy (I'd say below average-average) while she's very pretty (I'd say above average) but I generally think I have a somewhat good personality and I treat girls well (I never mock them or think they're inferior etc)

Welcome to the club man. Life's unfair. Just move on.

qwerty123456789 · 08-14-2012, 11:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by meg.loomis

She would still probably say no though.. If some dude (you said you're younger too?) in the grade below me who I have never ever spoken to just cane up to me and said "hey let's go get lunch", I would shut him down. No questions asked.

That's true. But wouldn't you at least her him out?

YO_VANILLA · 08-14-2012, 11:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by qwerty123456789

That's true. But wouldn't you at least her him out?

What do you think is going to happen?
You think that you are going to walk up to her having never said anything to her, and say "Hey, you don't know me but I have been watching you for a while now and I really like you. Do you want to go out on a date with me?"
I'm sure that will work out great for you and she won't think you a creep at all.

Megs · 08-14-2012, 01:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by qwerty123456789

That's true. But wouldn't you at least her him out?

I've never had a 2 minute conversation with him, I'm not going to commit myself to spending the next few hours with him. It'll be incredibly awkward because we have NOTHING to talk about (she doesn't know your interests, you probably don't know hers— and if you do, that is terribly creepy). Seriously. I've danced with random freshmen I've never seen before in my life (where I was, you don't typically ask a girl to dance, you just kinda grab her), I didn't even have to look at them; that was lousy and that was only 2 minutes a dance, I couldn't go spend an hour with them.

qwerty123456789 · 08-14-2012, 04:44 PM

Ok fair enough. Also its probably worth noting I've never stalked her or done anything creepy like that.