he loves me, he likes her.

[meya]

my boyfriend and i had been together for like a year but it was a long distance relationship. now he's back and we're dating and so..
but the problem is when he was away he told me about that girl he used to date and he said he might still has feelings for her "p.s that was before he tells me he loves me"
later i found out that he had been lying to me and that he still talks to her and he writes to her i love you and i miss you and i care about u and so on when i asked him about that he lied.
last time we were together he left me and kept chatting with her when i asked him what he was doing he hid his phone and told me he was talking to his brother and then he did it again that's when i saw her name in the chat
he noticed and removed the chat and the history. and i saw her photo in his wallet when i asked him he also lied
the problem that he keeps lying about her and keeps talking to her and now i don't understand does he loves me or not ? i'm confused because he does everything to make me happy and he proved that he loves me many times. but why does he keep talking to her always ? if he still has feeling for her why is he with me ?
so my friends say i must leave him and i don't really know what should i do ?

[meya]

please help me

[Hipster]

Talk to him upfront about what is going on, maybe even ask that you don't want him to talk to her. While something LDR can be difficult, if he's talking to someone he still has feelings for it could end in trouble.
If he loves you, then he shouldn't be talking to an ex, much less someone he still likes.

[Nevermore]

Sounds like he could be confused about his feelings. Take Hipter's advice, or take a break from the guy until he can let one of you go.

[laney]

I would let go at least for awhile... he sounds confused & you don't want to be in that situation I was in the same situation with my x. he was not over his x & even though he showed me he loved me his x always got into the way of our relationship... & it just destroyed the feelings between me&him I would let him go... He needs to realize that he can't have both of you

[meya]

i tried to talk to him but he keeps lying about her and he keeps saying i'm silly and i want to create problems out of nowhere and he says it's not a big deal to talk about because he likes me and she means nothing to him.
he says that but then i see something else.
for example today i found out he puts her in the close friends list ! only her!

---------- Post added at 11:46 PM ---------- Previous post was at 11:45 PM ----------

you are right i think he is confused about his feeling he doesn't know he is really hurting me alot
and i love him so much i don't want to let him go

[(8)jaseyrae<3]

Your friends are right. He's lied to you multiple times, why would you want to be with someone who's going to lie to you? I know it seems hard to see that when you love someone, but you need to face the facts. Leave him!

[meya]

everytime i try to leave him -though its hard for me- he keeps crying and begging me not to leave and he swears that he loves me and that i'm the only one that matters
it's hard he is confusing me

[armyforthebroken]

A little late on this, but I hope this will somehow help?

There's a lot of red flags here... if he's lying to you about this girl, then that's a problem. That means he's obviously still interested in this girl. The thing is, he keeps you around, because you're a safe bet. If things don't work out with this girl, then there's you and you should never put yourself in that situation, ever. I think to protect yourself, it might be a good idea to end things...

But first, talk to him. Maybe this calls for a little confrontation? Let him know that you know about this girl and see what he says. If he lies again and either denies her, call his bullshit. And just end it, because you can do better and you don't wanna stick around for an unfaithful man.

Good luck! Hope things work out!

everytime i try to leave him -though its hard for me- he keeps crying and begging me not to leave and he swears that he loves me and that i'm the only one that matters
it's hard he is confusing me

I didn't see this! I've dealt with a boyfriend who would literally beg me to stay with him after I caught him fucking up. Don't let it fool you. The whole "crying" act is just a web made for you to be caught up in. If that happens again, you gotta let him know that things gotta change if you're gonna stay with him. And at this point, you should probably make an ultimatum: You or this girl. That if he wants to be with you, he can't go talking to other girls the way he's talking to her (assuming he talks to her more than just friends if he has to hide her from you?)

^ Just something from personal experience.

[meya]

thanks alot