Okay, so my high school fairly tale love story is being turned upside down. I keep counting down the days until he leaves and it tears me apart every time I think about it.
So, my boyfriend and I have been together for a pretty good while about six months. We're not too serious or anything, but if I am sure of anything, it's that I do love him :/ Call me crazy or whatever, but I didn't believe in love at first sight until I met him. We started out as good friends, met in Spanish class a little over a year ago. That's when we talked about him and his going into the Air Force. Pararescue.....dangerous as ever, and it's several years of being apart before he even gets ready for deployment. And that's when I saw something real in him. A guy with ambition, and when he told me he wanted to be with me, I had to think about it forever. "What if I do fall in love? I'm not strong enough to be in that kind of relationship.." Wellllll....I did. And here I go, terrified that I won't be able to cope. He leave in just under eight months(so close to be so far away) for selection. That's about 9 weeks, but it'll be the longest summer ever. And then he leaves for his two year basic not long after that. Here's the catch.. I'm only a sophomore. So while he's graduating and beginning his entire life, I'll still be in school. And he talks to his recruiter constantly, which doesn't help. So now, I get to deal with schoolwork, volleyball, social life, drama, and now the worry and stress of this relationship.
I'm so certain that I wanna be with him through this. Though I wouldn't have it any other way, I'm scared. Scared of so many things. Scare that something might happen to him, that we may grow too far apart, that he may end up feeling that he doesn't need me.
I remember one night we were watching Dear John. I could barely breathe. He asked me to tell him what it was like to live this kind of story. To tell him in letters of course. I said "How can you do this with me in your life?" And he said "How could I do this without you?"
I just don't know what to think here.
What if I'm just not strong enough?