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Old 11-18-2012, 08:44 PM   #1
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Crush has a girlfriend..go for it or give up?

I met this guy at my previous job, when I met him, he and his girlfriend had been together for 1 week.
At first he would freak out when i would touch him (you know when a girl flirts and she touches the guys arm and such) he said that he has a new girlfriend, and his worried of what she'll think if she will see us sitting on a couch touching.
the girlfriend ended up telling him that it's ok if he has female friends, so since then we have been in contact, he even gave me a 2 hour backrub.
he is always telling me im pretty, and smart and compliments me..but im 19 and his 23, so he keeps saying the age is a problem.
i even told him i want him, and he told me that he can't right now because his got a gf....but then in a phone convo he tells me that he will move near me when his done with college (he lives quiet far away).
We have videochatted a couple times, and we used to sms daily but then i decided to quit so I could get over him...but then a couple days ago we started talking again. He told me that he thinks their relationship will last a long time. but then again he sang for 5 seconds, "I could fall for her but she's a child" and yet again complimented me, and he couldn't get why im single.
Now, this is a question for you guys out there..his girlfriend lives near his house, a guy friend of mine told me his only with her for the sex, because he would rather have a bootycall 5 minutes from his house than a couple hours away..and that if he cared about her he wouldn't talk to me so often, compliment me, and given me a backrub for that long. does this sound possible? that his with her only for the sex?

My question is, It's been 1 month since we started talking..he has shown in his actions and told me that he is attracted to me and likes my personality (but also keeps reminding me of my age) , but yet he won't leave his gf and idk how long it will last between them...I have two options:

one is..completely cut him off, because I'm catching feelings and his not going to leave his girlfriend (for all I know they could be together for many months)

second is..keep talking to him, and once they break up I'll already be there.

A friend told me that if he got physical with me/likes someone else, so early into their relationship..it won't last.
but then yesterday he told me he thinks it will last for a while...he also lied to me and told me they have been together for longer than they actually are, do you think his trying to make me jealous?
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Old 11-18-2012, 10:17 PM   #2
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Re: Crush has a girlfriend..go for it or give up?

Hi there (:

Just wanted to say that overall, this guy sounds pretty shady.

First off, lets just start with the fact that he HAS a girlfriend and yet hes flirting with you. This just goes to show that this guy isn't truly in love, with neither of you. What's going to happen when you're his girlfriend and he starts treating you like how hes treating his current gf.

Secondly, shame on you for flirting and trying to get with a guy that already has a girlfriend. What's so hard about finding someone who isn't single? You keep trying to lower him in, which believe me sweetie, he's probably telling you stuff you want to hear but does not mean anything to him.

In my opinion, just stop. Cut him off because there's many other people out there for you. And this shady dude, isn't it.
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Old 11-19-2012, 08:18 AM   #3
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Re: Crush has a girlfriend..go for it or give up?

Agreed in that this dude does sound pretty shady.

I'd stop talking to him. At the end of the day you're only going to get hurt. If he can't last a week into a relationship without flirting with someone else he's not exactly trustworthy is he? Plus, if he really loved you he'd have left his girlfriend for you. He clearly has no intentions of leaving her either, whether he loves her or not, he doesn't sound like a guy you should want to be in a relationship with. I know it's hard to turn off your feelings but it'll be better in the long run. Just keep a distance
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Old 11-20-2012, 12:42 PM   #4
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Re: Crush has a girlfriend..go for it or give up?

This guy sounds like a complete douche bag. Seriously not worth your time and it sounds like he only see's women as sexual objects. Trust me, you don't want to be treated like that.
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Old 11-21-2012, 02:31 AM   #5
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Re: Crush has a girlfriend..go for it or give up?

Hi! I just want to start out by saying that the age difference is not that bad. I'm 20 years old and I'm married to a 23 year old. It's NOT that bad... if he really likes you that wouldn't even matter. And another thing I'll add is why is he telling you all of these things when he has another girlfriend? Would you want him doing that to you if you were dating him? Who's to say that he wouldn't find another girl while he was with you and do the same thing to you that he is now doing to his "present girlfriend." I think this guy needs a wake up call and that he is NO good. Until he can be with one person without hitting on someone else I don't think I'd be able to trust someone like that.
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Old 11-21-2012, 06:44 AM   #6
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Re: Crush has a girlfriend..go for it or give up?

I think this guy sounds kind of rude to his girlfriend if they're dating and he's still flirting with you. I think there are plenty of people out there to meet and hey, I don't think you'd like it much if you were dating and he started flirting with other girls. Hope this helped.
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Old 11-22-2012, 12:36 AM   #7
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Re: Crush has a girlfriend..go for it or give up?

we talked to other day, he told me I need to get a boyfriend, I told him I don't want one, and he told me I have to because life's better with one...I think that's his way of telling me that I need to move on, do you think that's what it meant?
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Old 11-26-2012, 07:32 AM   #8
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Re: Crush has a girlfriend..go for it or give up?

Yes.. Sounds like you could do a lot better!! Move on
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