Before I start writing, I'm going to give you a fair warning. I tend to write really long stories, and this will probably be one of those times. Thanks for sticking around, though, because I really do need advice, or answers, or chocolate.....
So, this is the story of how I met Jack......
I went to a summer camp for a week this year. It was scary, at first, because it was so far away and I'd never done it before. I don't regret it at all, because if I hadn't gone I would have never even knew he existed. I was a bit hesitant for the first couple days there, but after that I fit in just fine.
The first time I really noticed Jack was, I think, the second day there. We were all sitting at a table outside, eating lunch. One of our camp counselors had an accent, so it sounded like "Bitch" instead of "Beach" when he said "Let's go down to the beach, now" And I mentioned it out loud, towards one of the girls there. That was when Jack cut in and said; "It would've been funny if he said 'We're going down on this bitch, now'" And me, being the one who goes beet red at everything, did just that. I made a face at him and said "Really? You just had to say that?" He laughed and said "Sorry! I'm a guy......" That was the first time I really noticed him. He was, well.....Reeeaaally good-looking. He had blonde hair, the most gorgeous blue eyes, and the longest eyelashes I'd ever seen on anyone. He was also taller than me, which, with me being 5'10, wasn't always the case with a lot of guys my age.
I thought he had to be, like, 17. He just looked older, I guess. It turns out he was only 15. I'm 14, and turning 15 at the end of the year, if anyone was wondering.
I wasn't really sure what to make of the boy who liked making dirty jokes, I just thought he was a dumb dirty-minded guy that was way older than me. That wasn't the case, though. I figured it out a couple days later. Even though I fit in with the girls there just fine, I had a lot more in common with the boys, and hung out with them more. Most of them made bad jokes, too, and I got over it. They were all actually pretty cool guys, but I seemed to gravitate towards Jack more than anyone else. I found out that he was a really great guy, he was sweet and kind and really funny. I made my scary morbid jokes, and he would be the one that laughed and made equally bad ones in return. He didn't mind when I talked about zombies too much, either.
One day, at breakfast, Jack sat by himself at a table. I went to sit with him, and he explained his "Theory" of how he thought if he sat by himself, that a few specific people would sit with him. I was one of them. I did the same thing at dinner time. I sat by myself. When he came out the door, there was the table with all the guys, and most of his friends, the grown-ups table, and then there was me. Sitting in the corner by myself. He looked at his friends, and then turned and walked straight to me, with a big smile on his face. I then explained my "Theory" and we laughed about it.
One night at a campfire we were all kind of squished together. I was sitting next to Jack. It was nice. It kind of felt like he and I were closer together than we really needed to be, because I wasn't as close to anyone else, but he never pulled away or moved somewhere else. I didn't mind that at all. Our arms would brush together, or our feet or legs would touch and we just stayed like that. I, of course, was turning every shade of red all night. After a while I asked him if he minded me being that close to him. His answer was the sweetest thing ever! He smiled at me, and said "Naw, it's fine....You keep me warm." I just sat there, grinning like a freaking idiot. I'm not sure, but it seemed like he was.....Debating over wanting to do something that whole time. I don't know what it was, though. That night, we were singing campfire songs, and the next day he told me I had a nice singing voice. I don't know how he noticed my voice with everyone else singing, too. Nobody else seemed to.
There was a day where I stole his fedora and aviators and wore them around camp all day. Other people, girls mostly, had done it too, but I was the only one who got away with it for more than a few minutes. I wore them for most of a full day, and he didn't seem to mind at all. He only asked for them back once at the end of the day.
The last night, we all got to sleep outside. There were two groups of us. Our group was in like a circle shape on the ground. I was next to Jack, because that was where I could fit into the circle, and also, maybe a little on purpose.....We were the first two up in our circle in the morning. We didn't talk, because everyone was sleeping, but it wasn't awkward at all, like it would be with some other people. It was just little smiles and peeking out from the corners of our eyes at eachother, and me hiding under my hood because I always have extreme bed head.
When camp ended, it was so sad. We said goodbye too quickly, I think. It was just a quick hug and a "Goodbye." Because my dad was already waiting for me, there. I felt like crying most of the way home.
So, now, we've been talking on Facebook almost constantly since camp. It's because he lives about five hours away from me. We talk about everything, and he says things that could be flirting, but I'm never quite sure. And we know a lot of things about eachother, like siblings names, etc. Lots of stuff like that. He recently told me about his friend I apparently have lots in common with, and when I asked who it was he said "Just a guy you don't know. He's not quite perfect, though." What does THAT mean? I still have a gigantic crush on him, and it's only getting worse and worse. I can't help but wonder if he feels the same way about me.
There was so much more stuff to say, but I wanted to keep this short-ish.....
I don't know what to do! This is my first really serious crush, I don't want to screw it up by telling him I like him if he doesn't like me back. Do you think he does? HELP ME!