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My understanding is that a psychiatrist treats mental illness; a psychologist deals with patients whose psychology is normal, but who have developed problems because of an extreme situation. When a person is young the death of a parent can be traumatic; and the other way round – for a parent to lose a child in a road accident could cause mental problems. That would be dealt with by a psychologist. A psychiatrist would treat a recognized mental illness such as schizophrenia (split personality). O…

When my mother was dying, a very wise friend remarked “These things happen to all of us, and we are designed to be able to cope”. I found that to be completely true. Just as our bodies have mechanisms for coping with physical illness, so our psychology has mechanisms for coping with bereavement. You'll be surprised how kind and sensitive people can be at such a time – you don't have to get through this alone. People you never thought much about will really want to help; so accept their help. One…

Just the first thought that popped into my head – do you have the same teachers for any subject? You could start by saying “What do you think of Mr / Miss whoever?” and see what reaction you get. In England the standard conversation starter is the weather, because it's totally unpredictable. I've noticed that my dentist always starts with some comment about the weather, probably to take my mind off what he's about to do inside my mouth . . . actually he's a really good dentist, and does everythi…

Hey Jenna, less of the when you refer to males, please! We do have our uses you know

Nobody's worth nothing! However bad you feel! Every human being is unique and precious. I hope somebody's explained to you that the ups and downs of teenage life have a lot to do with hormones. They are the chemicals which turn a girl into a woman (or a boy into a man), but they play havoc with your emotions on the way. Don't worry, you won't always feel like this. Do you have any friend who could do with some help? Often helping someone else makes you feel better about yourself. I hope someone …

It can help to keep a sense of proportion about these things. I've seen a statistic that 800 million people on this planet don't have enough to eat. Apart from anything else, starvation is extremely painful. I expect you have as much food as your body requires, that you are being properly educated, live in a home which provides shelter from the elements and warmth in winter. On a world scale you are very, very lucky – as are all of us who live in the “advanced” countries. Try to think positive a…

Is there any way you can find out if you have interests in common? Friendships are usually ABOUT something; and if you're sharing an activity that interests you both, a friendship could develop naturally. Do you like reading the same books, or listening to the same music? If you don't have much in common, it's unlikely that a significant relationship will develop anyway. I know it's tough to accept now, but at your age there really are “plenty more fish in the sea”; somebody unbelievably wonderf…

The MOST important thing is not to make your sister feel embarrassed; try not to let her know you discovered this diary. You have – accidentally – invaded her privacy, and if you damage her trust now, she may simply clam up and feel it's impossible to discuss these thoughts with anyone. A week or so I noticed a question about masturbation from a 13 year old girl on this forum, and felt she needed advice; so I did two things. The first was to ask one of the most trusted girls on this forum to con…

“Don't forget that understanding mothers are helpful to their daugthers too.” Again, I entirely agree; though that wasn't quite my point. It is usually assumed that a father will look after his son's sexual education, and a mother after her daughter's. What I wanted you to know was how important a mother's approval is as a boy develops sexually. And I do mean approval, not just acceptance. I'd say more, but my tummy wants its supper!

“And what about thanking me too? I was the first one! LOL” Yes of course – thank you for being first; and thank you even more for your intelligent contribution to the debate. “I agree about masturbating in new ways. But.... It's not just to keep sex fun, it's to learn how your body works, what to do and what not to do, how to last longer or orgasm quicker.” I agree TOTALLY with every word in that paragraph. Brilliant! Thank you. I hope you will be a mother one day, as this understanding will be …

This thread DESPERATELY needs livening up! Surely the whole point of masturbating is NOT to have a routine?! jackinworld.com has pages and pages of techniques, and sections about “fun with objects and substances”. I'm new to this forum, and not sure how specific I can be, but is nobody here experimenting with toilet paper tubes, rubber gloves, water wings . ? . There is a serious side to this. Sex within marriage can become boring after a while; experiment a lot now with masturbation, and you'll…

Please do some research on the failure rates for condoms; they are NOT 100 percent reliable. We humans are very bad at judging risk. It's been calculated that more people died in car accidents after the attack on the World Trade Center, than in the event itself . . . because they decided to drive instead of flying, but it's very much more dangerous. If you eventually break up with this boyfriend, do you intend to have sex with another boy later, and so on . . . or do you want to save your virgin…

Some boys love it, some wouldn't ever want to. For those who enjoy it, it can be an important means of sexual expression during teenage years, and I've never been able to see how there could be any moral objection. It certainly isn't gay – just two friends enjoying a good time together. It happens less and less as guys mature and focus on girls. So for those who enjoy it, it is perfectly normal.