I'm sorry, but I can't forgive him.

Bella Vendetta · 12-04-2007, 07:05 AM

I've tired to forget....but it keeps coming back to haunt me. The things he's (he as in my EX boyfriend) said to me keep playing over in my head like a bad record. I know he apologized even if there was no excuse, but I can't forgive him. I will never look at him in the same way again. I'm afraid he's put permanent scar on me.

I can forgive him for anything else, even letting me go(because that's his loss), except this. I've tired to play nice and try to forgive him, but I've come to the realization the things he said and the names he's called me hurt way too much for me to just let it go.

The problem is every time my mind goes free, what he's done plays over and over until I have a mental breakdown. I've had to stop myself from almost crying in class multiple times. And every time I'm alone in the house I completely loose it.

Not to mention, he thinks I forgave him and that everything between us is okay. It's not okay...and at this point, it might never be. He really needs to know how bad he hurt me, but I don't know how to say it without making him mad.

How would you deal with this?

Phuck Buddy · 12-05-2007, 12:30 AM

Why should you care about making him mad? He hurt you and you should be direct and tell him about it.

Bella Vendetta · 12-05-2007, 01:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phuck Buddy

Why should you care about making him mad? He hurt you and you should be direct and tell him about it.

Because I'm just one of those people who doesn't like it when people are mad at them. I at least like to be civil with people, and not fight with them every time I see them.

Phuck Buddy · 12-05-2007, 02:20 AM

Quote:

I've come to the realization the things he said and the names he's called me hurt way too much for me to just let it go.

so even though he hurt you "way too much", you're willing to ignore the way you feel so he's not upset with you?

Bella Vendetta · 12-05-2007, 02:46 AM

Well here are my options.

1. keep my mouth shut and he'll ignore me.
OR
2. Tell him and have him flip out on me, and start cursing me out like he does every single time I do something he doesn't like. Which is the thing I can't forgive him for.

Things are bad enough. I'd love to tell him the truth, but it's not worth it if he won't listen. Not to mention, these wounds are still fresh, maybe I'll forgive him in time? Though, I highly doubt it, but you never know how things will pan out.

Phuck Buddy · 12-05-2007, 02:53 AM

if those are your two options than just keep your mouth shut and IGNORE HIM... If he comes to you for whatever reason, try to brush him off, and if that doesnt work, go to option 2

jdhfreak · 12-05-2007, 04:59 AM

why do you care what he thinks if he's such a dick? Just forget about him and move on.

tessa_s212 · 12-06-2007, 04:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bella Vendetta

I've tired to forget....but it keeps coming back to haunt me. The things he's (he as in my EX boyfriend) said to me keep playing over in my head like a bad record. I know he apologized even if there was no excuse, but I can't forgive him. I will never look at him in the same way again. I'm afraid he's put permanent scar on me.

I can forgive him for anything else, even letting me go(because that's his loss), except this. I've tired to play nice and try to forgive him, but I've come to the realization the things he said and the names he's called me hurt way too much for me to just let it go.

The problem is every time my mind goes free, what he's done plays over and over until I have a mental breakdown. I've had to stop myself from almost crying in class multiple times. And every time I'm alone in the house I completely loose it.

Not to mention, he thinks I forgave him and that everything between us is okay. It's not okay...and at this point, it might never be. He really needs to know how bad he hurt me, but I don't know how to say it without making him mad.

How would you deal with this?

Perhaps you cannot forgive him for a reason, and a good one.

If the things he has said and done to you are so bad that you are unable to forgive him, maybe you shouldn't. Not that I think you should hate him or treat him badly, but I don't believe you should be with someone if they treat you badly.

Also, if you cannot freely communicate about how you are feeling, how do you expect to have a relationship at all with him? If he's too much of a jerk to listen to how you feel.. well, I personally woudl not be with him.

~+ Bear +~ · 12-06-2007, 06:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bella Vendetta

Well here are my options.

1. keep my mouth shut and he'll ignore me.
OR
2. Tell him and have him flip out on me, and start cursing me out like he does every single time I do something he doesn't like. Which is the thing I can't forgive him for.

Things are bad enough. I'd love to tell him the truth, but it's not worth it if he won't listen. Not to mention, these wounds are still fresh, maybe I'll forgive him in time? Though, I highly doubt it, but you never know how things will pan out.

If he's going to honestly be like that, your best option is 1. If he hurt you that bad, he doesn't even deserve to know you. You said it in your sig, really.