Untidyness

Kat · 01-29-2008, 04:39 AM

I've never been a tidy person. (I dont mean clean tidyness) but as in leaving stuff out etc.

I have a father which i really hate living with. I feel he's constantly trying to change me to be like him (Absolutely tidy) and obviously, there's great confliction there.

The problem is i feel i have a problem of some sort (which he hardly even understands because he is forever being critical and un supportive), and this is causing problems at home because whenever i make a bit of mess i tend to quickly miss it as if it werent there. Whats wrong with me? Could it be because i feel under pressure a lot and lack of confidence around him? I do feel i lack confidence at home, i've sensed the way he has been with me since young, he's never seemed to be able to handle having kids (I never understand why he evn had them if he cannot bare untidyness and a family that may not be like him). He makes out im using excuses with the problems i have etc, but its actually A PROBLEM that he cant be fuked to understand.

I just feel he is why i feel so unmotivated to do anything, i dunno, its just how i feel.
I know its my fault i make sense, but in the past i've been critized whenever i've tried to help him.

Do any of you ever feel this way?

DontBother · 01-30-2008, 02:14 AM

I had the exact same problem with my dad. Sometimes it's just like he wants someone to have a go at. His standards were so damned high, it's impossible to please him.
I know what you mean, there's nothing wrong with you, just the way you are. Same as me, I'm generally slightly messy. I wouldn't recomend confronting him about it, if he's anything like my dad was, it would just be another excuse for him to shout.

Kat · 01-30-2008, 03:31 AM

Really?
It gets me down a lot though, i know we both have a problem and its understandable to have clashment there, but he doesnt seem to understand my problems or even understand why im like i am, if you get what i mean?

DontBother · 01-30-2008, 03:58 AM

I think i get you. The thing with my dad was, he was incredibly picky. Like you said, with untidyness, if I'd left a glass of water on my windowsill overnight, he'd go beserk.
I never got around to sorting it out with him. I just tried avoiding him, and making an extra effort, to pick up anything that might upset him, just to avoid all the hassle, and the drama.

Kat · 01-30-2008, 04:05 AM

Same here.
But the problem is, i hardly notice im leaving mess half the time, i dunno why.

DontBother · 01-30-2008, 04:20 AM

Yeah, so do I, don't worry about it. I just tried to notice, and made a bit of an effort to make sure I didn't leave any mess, because all the arguements were wearing me down.
Then my parents split up

cutexlilxblond07 · 01-30-2008, 09:32 PM

That really sucks. I know how you feel too though. My dads the same way and was raised that everything has to be perfectly clean. I agree with DontBother about confronting him.. the last time i tried to confront my dad it didnt turn out too well. Just try to keep your stuff out of his way. You'll be out of there soon enough.

Kat · 01-31-2008, 12:34 AM

Oh, so im not the only one then lol
I think my problem has something to do with it, as i probably said both of us have problems that clash.

DontBother · 01-31-2008, 01:54 AM

Lol, you're not the only one by any means. I thought only my dad was a total tw*t like that, until I found this forum, and this thread

.

Kat · 01-31-2008, 04:47 AM

True. Dealing with it is never easy though, probably because i cant be tidy.

DontBother · 01-31-2008, 05:04 AM

Luckily I never had to deal with it....I just got on with it for 14 years, Then my problem moved away

.

Kat · 01-31-2008, 05:07 AM

Lucky.
Its hard though when you have a father with OCD
lol