Okay, so here's the deal.

For about a year now, my parents have been fighting on and off. My dad's been venting by getting drunk, cussing, and disappearing to bars (and, I think, strip clubs) while my mom is out partying with her friends until 5am in the morning. My little brother and I are seriously depressed about it.

Anyways, they'd been perfect on Father's Day, complimenting, saying "I Love You", hugging, etc. But today...

When I came home, my dad's words were slurred and crashing into each other. He walked in a funny kind of way... kind of like how an old woman hobbles...

While I was upstairs on the phone, I started hearing screaming. Since my room is right above their's I could hear my mom accusing my dad of doing drugs and setting a bad example. My dad left, and I don't know of he'll come back. I'm worried about him. If he was drunk, or high, I'm scared he might crash or get put into jail.

I know the divorce is coming, but I try not to think about it. I don't know what I'll do when they finally go to court. My mom is always so snappy, and she's extremely grumpy at times (which is most of the time). She has a talent for leaving nasty bruises on my brother and I when we get into trouble. My dad's more gentle. He smokes and drinks heavily, and I don't want to be exactly influenced by that. My brother worships him. My dad gets drunk a lot, and speeds (about 30 - 50 above the limit). He cusses nonstop and I know he's got some porno tapes hidden around the house.

So, I don't know which I should choose. I'm not very social with either of them, and I can't seem to say the right things when I try and explain what I'm feeling and thinking to them. I'm scared I might be in serious trouble with one of them if I choose the other.

So... what do I do?!?!

I wouldn't recommend living with either. They both have unsafe habits that could leave you and your brother in danger. Your mother is abusive, even if you don't want to accept that. You don't need to be around someone who takes anger or stress out on you or your brother. Your dad doesn't seem like a safe parent either, considering his drinking problem. You shouldn't be around someone who spends most of his time drunk. Driving with him isn't even safe if he is a constant speeder. The best advice I can give is to go live with a grandparent, aunt, or an uncle. It'll be better to get out of both situations as soon as possible.

I love my parents - with all my heart. I don't want to destroy them by leaving the two of them. I'm scared they might do something drastic, and, judging by the way my dad likes to make threats about "putting a gun to head", I don't want that to happen. They've always been there for me, and I don't want to leave them in the dirt.

And my little brother's only 10. I don't think he would understand if I told him we were going to live away from mom and dad. Like I said before, my dad's his idol, and he's still a bit of a... Mama's Boy, I suppose.

My extended family is very close to my parents. I'm scared that they would just send my brother and I back home, if we showed up on their doorstep. What if worse things happened if we return and they find out I tried to leave them? But I suppose that would be quite hard. I live in Texas. My closest relative lives in Boston, MA.

I highlighted the place in your reply where you sound like you are actually afraid of your parents. If this is the case, do not be afraid to leave them. I can understand what you mean when you say that you love them, but you really need to take your own self (and your brother) into consideration here. Have you talked to your brother about this? You should really see how he feels about this situation before you decide. I'm not sure exactly, but doesn't the court decide where you go, or is it different there?

I'm not exactly sure if they choose. Usually the kids go to the mother. But I think they put the kid's decision into consideration as well.

depending on how old you are and if you can hold a job you can get adult rights granted to you so that you can live alone if you would be okay with that.

How older are you, if you don't mind saying?

If you're old enough, get away from it all.

If not, make a decision and plan to get away from it all as soon as possible.

Ok well, first off hes your dad and i know you love him and i know he loves you, love seems to be the only thing here that can change things, tell your dad how you feel (when he's sober) and just say simply "Dad i love you, i dont want you to get hurt please if you car about me and my brother stop doing this, for us" Obv you might want to rearrange or whatever, i hhave had a personal experiance with this, my aun comminted suicide and her husband lost his driving liscense for drink driving while my couisen and his son was in the car with him, my uncle is a mess he knows his kids are ashamed of him he's an alchoholic and has decided he wont change his ways, the eldest of his sons is 17 soon 18 and just wants to get away from it, he has put up with too much shit to be honest and i would hate to see you have the same. so remember what i said earlier and try and talk to your dad and your mum even but at different times is advisable

From what I've seen in my less-than-satisfactory experience, having to choose between parents can leave awful psychological scars. See how they behave.

I'm 14

Well, you aren't old enough to live on your own. I'm still unsure if you get a choice or not though. I'm not really familiar with those type of laws. If you aren't going to live with an aunt, uncle, or grandparent you need to talk to your brother about it. If the court does decide make sure you tell them every flaw about them, they might chose to place you with someone else, but they'll decide who is the safer parent.

The "safer" parent is obviously the mum, the only reason i think she would abuse you for, is because of all the stress from your father, once there separated, she will be grumpy for a few days, but trust me, then she will be quite good with you.. I cant promise you, but thats my opinion..

Better Taking Pain, than dying from Drugs at a young age.

Oh, and im really sorry to hear about this.. its just so annoying, whoever invented all this stuff, should be burned alive..

You can also die from physical abuse if it gets out of hand.