Hi; I'm Jordan. Like I said in my introduction, I am male and 19 years old. I don't know what the average age here is, but I'm assuming I might be on the old side. Anyway, this is my "problem" and why I'm here.

I feel like I've almost completely missed out on my teen years, which I would consider to be some very good, maybe some of the best years, of your life. You see, in late middle school and in high school I began to be "caught in the middle" meaning I was that nice guy in class that was friendly to everyone, but nobody paid too much attention to because everyone assumed he was friends with a different group! People didn't ignore me; on the contrary, it would probably appear that I had lots of friends: I would say hi to nearly everyone in the hall b/c I knew most of them, and they would cheerfully say hi back. But that's where it ended. When it came time for people to hang out or do something fun, they all thought I hung out with a different group. I was stuck in the middle, with lots of acquaintances and a few friends, all in different "cliques" or "groups."

So, up until I was about 17, I mainly went to school, hung out with some friends and lots of acquaintances there, participated in extracurricular stuff, went home and that was it. Others did fun stuff outside of school like skateboarding or going to the movies etc. and I did once in a blue moon, but mainly I just stayed home.

Senior year was a bit better. I got with a group of friends and we hung out more, but by this time I already felt like I had missed out on a lot of stuff, and even my group of friends was tighter amongst themselves b/c they had already been hanging out for a long while. Anyway, we would go to movies and hang out some and all, but I still probably didn't do as much of it as your average teenager.

Long story, I know (sorry) but what I'm saying is, I've now finished my first year at college. I turn 20 in September. 20! 2 decades old and my teen years will be over....and I don't think I've done anything to enjoy them. Even to this day I've not had a girlfriend or anything. I've been on a few dates and went to dances/proms but each time it seemed like the girl was just asking last minute out of desperation to take someone, and the dates I've initiated always end up with us having a "nice time" but the girl seemingly not interested in anything more than maybe a one-time date.

Also I was a pretty "good kid" and never got in trouble for anything, never drank, etc. While that may be "good" it also leaves me feeling like I kind of missed out on excitement and stuff in teen years. Even sites like these I think are awesome for existing, but I can't help feeling nostalgia and a deep sense of regret for not having found out about them when I was say, 13 or 14, so I could be a part of even this teen community and enjoy my teen years.

All of this (me not included in activities after school, under-confidence with girls etc) has left me with low self esteem and feeling like I have no idea what to do. I feel like it's partly my fault and I should fix it but I don't know how and I feel like my time has already been wasted up. Like, I would have loved to call up friends to plan something in school, but since all my friends belonged to different "groups," it was majorly awkward to try and hang out together b/c I was the only common denominator.

Anyway, this post has rambled on too long I know (sorry again) but my second year of college will be starting, my teen years are ending, and I fear I am falling into the same trap in college. I have joined a fraternity (my brother went through it before me) and it's lots of fun but I feel like the same thing is happening...the guys are all nice and I say hi and am friendly to all of them, but they each have "their" crowd and I'm not a part of any of them

Soooo....sorry for rambling, but it feels good to get that off my chest; however, it also leaves me rather depressed. Sorry, I just thought maybe you all would have some thoughts. :-/

Hmmm have you ever thought that maybe you should make the first move when it comes to befriending people. Im not saying i went through the same thing but something similar when i moved when i went to middle school you have friends but you dont really have any "friends" so well all you need to do is try to develop close relationships its hard to some people and easy to other....but some people like me learn the hard way i guess.

Thanks for the advice. I guess I kind of worded my [long ] explanation badly. It's not befriending people that I have trouble with; I do that very well. But that's usually where it ends...we're "friends" and are friendly, will say hey and ask how each other are, but when it comes to hanging out, I only have a few friends I do that with and even they are much closer-knit with a group than I am :-/

It's not a lack of friends, but rather like a difficulty with making people I meet my friends-friends. I feel like I've missed out on good "hangout times" my first 2 years of high school and dont want it to happen in college too.

hmmm ya bringing people together is pretty hard ive tried it and well sometimes it just doesnt work out but things will end up happening for a reason i guess......keep trying.

Nothing wrong with living that kind of life.

This thread might as well argue "I'd like to make some friends!" (in my college).

Don't all colleges have some sort of club or organization?

I'm 14 and can relate to you exactly. I have a lot of friends but maybe one or two of them are friend-friends. I'm fine with it, and I'm sure as time goes on I'll find my place in this world just as you will.

Don't stress over it. I mean, I have those times when I think about what I could have done, you know? I get a strange feeling in the pit of my stomach, almost a nervous feeling, about the future and what it holds for me. But just live life. Judging from your signature you are a great guy (I love photography, too) and trust me, you will live life to the fullest.

I personally believe that the teen years are NOT the best years in someones life. Yeah, maybe for those people that have sex and do drugs, drink alcohol and juggle (boy/girl)friends. I've never done any of those and I still have fun. Just live life like you're meant too, not how someone else did, or how you hear its suppose to go.