lonely need someone with the same problem to talk to

m_llaEh · 08-14-2008, 09:06 PM

hi everyone.

After many attempts at getting help for my problems i've decided to try a forum for the first time. other people just dont understand.

Anyway, im 19, im going to school to major in math , and seem to be leading an ok life. but i have noone i can really talk to. and by talk i mean confide in and trust. i am depressed and my situation is getting worse each day. i really feel alone.

Most people simply dont understand my situation. I was thinking about it and i would really like to find is someone who may be lonely and depressed themselves, and who also needs someone to talk to. i truly think the only way to feel better is to talk to someone that can understand what youre going through.

please message me if you would like to talk. i really think we can be of help to each other.

xkadiex · 08-14-2008, 10:49 PM

hey xx
my name is kadie, i'm 14 and i know exactly how you feel.
on the outside my life sounds fine, i have a good groups of mates, a good family and am doing ok in school, but i feel really alone.

the feeling gets worse each day and when ever i have tried to talk to someone about how i feel alone and that i feel like nobody would care if i just vanished, they just say things like i would care, or you're not alone you've got me. and i doesn't help me if anything it makes me feel worse that they don't try and understand what i'm going through.

mabye it's just none of them can relate to it, mabye talking to someone who does know what i'm going through might help.

Neal · 08-15-2008, 12:45 AM

What exactly is your situation?

m_llaEh · 08-15-2008, 01:09 AM

well first off i have no relationship with my parents. im an only child, and i've never really been close to them. i just have trouble expressing myself to them and always have. fastforward to now, im 19 and dont really talk to them at all.

in between high school and college i had to move, so i lost contact with all my friends really. im not one to keep in contact either so.

at college i never really found anyone i liked. maybe im too picky i dont know. i have zero friends at school, i know people from class but i cant' really talk to any of them.

most of my time is spent on the computer or something equally as pathetic. just for escapism i guess. anytime i try and contemplate my situation i feel even worse about myself.

i have a serious problem expressing myself to people close to me ( family , old friends )
but i have no problem opening up to someone i just meet. im not really sure why that is.

sometimes i get really paranoid too, about nothing in particular, but i might think there is someone in my house, or feel like im being watched. i honestly get scared, and i know its totally baseless and irrational. im a pretty skeptical person to begin with, so im not sure whats going on here. i guess talking and living with noone but myself for so long isn't healthy.

some days i cope with loneliness just fine but then i see my mom sitting on the couch , and i start to get really depressed because i bet she is just as lonely as i am but i have no idea how to even talk to her or approach her about it. Its not that i even want to talk to her about this stuff but i just feel bad because i feel like its my fault . that makes me even more sad. i swear its like a downward spiral

Im just rambling at the moment. i don't really know what else to say except im very lonely , i think I over-think everything, and self analyze myself to the point that its making me feel hopeless.

Neal · 08-15-2008, 01:21 AM

None of the above is a problem.

m_llaEh · 08-15-2008, 02:14 AM

am i missing something Neal? that comment makes me feel as if im not worth your time or something

i thought this was a place to get help

Neal · 08-15-2008, 02:21 AM

You're a loner for a reason, and there isn't anything wrong with the reason.

m_llaEh · 08-15-2008, 02:30 AM

Thats not entirely true, i do put effort into meeting people and trying to do things with others but that doesnt make me feel any less lonely. I don't want to be alone, i hate it and i want to change it =(

Neal · 08-15-2008, 02:35 AM

Your question basically translate to "Why I don't have any friends," and if applied to the planet, that's about 6.6 billion individual questions.

For example, suppose the population of females on this planet was 3.3 billion, and you asked the question "Why don't I have a girlfriend," that's really 3.3 billion individual questions.

But of course, you don't care about the entire planet. Only the particular part of the universe that surrounds you of the people you deal with. For example, "Why don't I have a girlfriend in the school I go to," translates to as many individual questions as girls in your school.

For the majority of the people, the easy answer is you don't know them and you never met them. But for the people you do know, is itself an individual question, such as, I don't go up and talk to them, or, they don't talk to me.

Why am I a virgin? I might as well ask "Why did I never have sex with girl _" and ask that question until all the girls that are of interest to my question or girls of the entire planet, are answered, then I know why.

So for you, you care about your social life in your school. Your questions need to be as specific as possible, such as you walking down the hallway, not socializing with anyone.

For example, I don't have any real-life friends in China, why must that be significant? I don't have any real-life friends in India, why must that be significant?

Neal · 08-15-2008, 02:53 AM

Well I'm going home now, so I'll make 1 more clarification before coming back in 24 or 48 hours.

Suppose I ask "how come I don't got a girlfriend or is a virgin." That's actually thousands of individual questions.

It'll start off with something like this:

"Girl 1 didn't have sex with me because ____."
"Girl 2 didn't have sex with me because ____."

And then, when we get to China or India..

"Girl 1,314,159,265 didn't have sex with me because we live on opposite ends of the planet and never came across each other ever."

This will explain why I never got a girlfriend or is a virgin.

Now, suppose I had some sort of a personality problem and was rude to people. The answers could easily be rephrased as.

"Well girl 1 didn't have sex with me because I was always rude to her."
"Well girl 2 didn't have sex with me because I was always rude to her."

And so and so forth.

Edit:

Asking a question like "why don't I have any friends" is *not* *1* question. Asking a question like "Why aren't I friends with person X" is 1 question, and there can be more than 1 answers.

So you want to know why I labeled you as normal?

Your question was about being non-social and having no social life or people to talk to. Therefore..

1.You don't randomly talk to people if they don't randomly talk to you. Normal.
2.If you don't have anything to say to someone, you don't say it. Normal.

So if no 1 has anything random to say to you, they don't, then that obviously explain your 1st post.

Why must this be a disorder?

The thing is, you keep thinking it is somehow a disorder, because of the way you observe your life on the outside.

Why must it be a disorder? If you can answer that question, I'll be impressed.

3.Or better yet, you don't talk to people you don't know, so when you go to a new school, you know no 1.

So if you follow the above rules and go to a new school, why must it be a disorder?

Be back in 36 hours or so.

m_llaEh · 08-15-2008, 04:23 AM

Okay, i appreciate your attempt at help Neal but i still don't understand your entire premise. You are telling me that i am not asking a specific enough question.. no, i am not. I am asking for help from someone that might be lonely themselves and wants someone to talk to.

I'm not really sure where you came up with the idea that i think i have a disorder. I just listed a few situations of why i am lonely and the thought process that I have in hopes someone could be helpful. thats all . I'm not looking for a reason or a fix. just someone to talk to about things

Lostsoul · 08-15-2008, 04:55 AM

Jessica Lynn · 08-15-2008, 09:24 AM

everyone gets lonely once in a while. i know i do. i get so lonely i cry sometimes and i love talking to people and getting messages. so you can message me and we can talk if you want

<3 jess

pennylane10 · 08-15-2008, 10:36 AM

i'm a little bit younger then you, and i could relate just almost perfectly to you with the situation you are in... and being able to start a thread to actually finally voice help for yourself must have been difficult. I admire you for it because i could never do it and that kid shooting you down like that was extremely lame, and it just sucks cause once you say something get if off your chest that is your first reaction... makes you want to stop talking about it huh? But i'm glad you didnt. I understand that you want to talk about it so much but could never actually imagine talking about anything like it to your mother. Or anyone. I think you have problem having friends because you can never open up to someone cause you're afraid of what they will think.. its not so much the trust issue but also the fact that if you let someone in you don't know how long they will stay. I hope you find someone to talk to that understands what you are going through, even if they don't you can educate them. Give someone you know a chance.. they could surprise you. You are more then welcome to message me anytime.