two guys two problems

sophz · 08-29-2008, 11:04 PM

Hello. I don't know if you might be able to help me, but I am currently going out with Guy 1 who lives in Germany and is totally in love with me however I don't think I am that crazy about him. He is so sweet towards me yet I am sure I don't love him. How do I tell him without ruining his life!?! Also recently I have became aware of feelings towards Guy 2 who I am very close friends with which makes the situation harder as well as the fact that he is 3 years younger than me. Do I tell him how I feel although I know that he would reject me or do I keep it to myself and hope he never knows and that this disappears!?!

Please help. Any advice welcomed!

SimpleGirl. · 08-31-2008, 04:32 AM

Okay, if you're not crazy about guy 1, then don't you think it is a little unfair on him when are you not feeling "that crazy" about him, when he is totally in love with you? You'd be best off telling him sooner then later that you don't feel the same way.

Do you think that guy 2 would be bothered about the age difference? I think you should tell him how you feel, things could just work out for you. How do you know he would "reject" you if you haven't tried to make a go of things with him? Try it, it may just work out for you. But, i'd definately tell guy 1 that you don't feel the same before you talk to guy 2 about how your feelings towards him.

Hope it works out for you

SimpleGirl*

sophz · 09-01-2008, 01:50 AM

thanks will give it a try anything i could help you with in return simple girl?

AccessDenied · 09-01-2008, 02:36 AM

Hi Sophz and may I welcome you first because I see you've only just arrived.

I'm a newbie too and hope you will enjoy TH as much as I am.

Regarding your dilemma I think honesty is the best policy. You need to write to Guy 1 a soft letter without any hard edges to it, so to let him down with hurting him. You should take time in writing to him, get it sounding meaningful and try and close it so that he feels more able to break from you.

Now, for Guy 2. Three years should not make much of a difference unless you are young like, 13. I suggest you tell him in an honest and open letter about your true age but be prepared that he could be angry. And remember never again to lead any other boy into thinking you are the same age.

Best,
Poppi

sophz · 09-01-2008, 03:46 AM

Thanks for your advice however concerning Guy 2 I believe you may have the wrong end of teh stick. He knows how old I am and I know how old he is. He is 14 and I am 16. My birthday is just under three weeks before his however as mine is in December, it makes him another year older then it sounds. Also how can I write a letter with no hard edges?

SimpleGirl. · 09-01-2008, 03:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sophz

Also how can I write a letter with no hard edges?

A letter? Who to? Tell me some details and i'll try and help you out

And thanks for asking if you could help me with anything, I will keep you in mind for when I do

SimpleGirl*

sophz · 09-01-2008, 04:47 AM

okay well Poppi said write to Guy 1 with a letter "Regarding your dilemma I think honesty is the best policy. You need to write to Guy 1 a soft letter without any hard edges to it, so to let him down with hurting him. You should take time in writing to him, get it sounding meaningful and try and close it so that he feels more able to break from you." but i am unsure as to what she means!

SimpleGirl. · 09-01-2008, 05:12 AM

Ohhh, okay, so guy 1 is the guy who lives in Germany, right? Can you not tell him over MSN or through an email? Although, a letter or a phone call would be more personal and would be geniunely better for you to do.

Trick is, if he is madly in love with you, it's going to hurt him - whatever you say. So, at least try and make it sensitive and apologetic? "Hard edges" basically mean that don't put anything in the letter/email that seems insensitive or hurtful. Try and be as polite as possible. Know what I mean?

SimpleGirl*

AccessDenied · 09-01-2008, 05:55 AM

When I said "no hard edges" I meant don't write hard words that will hurt. Words written in haste are soon regretted after.

sophz · 09-01-2008, 10:44 PM

cheers thanks

iPodge · 09-01-2008, 11:32 PM

With guy number two.

Your better off telling him, because if you don't then you've spend a long time wondering... at least you know