i posted this in the other thread:
Sweetheart I am so sorry that happened to you. I have been through that and something similar twice. If you ever need to talk feel free to pm me. I will always listen and can sympathize 100%.
No it wasn't your fault. I know it is hard to believe that but it truly wasn't. And I suggest talking to someone.
I don't neccessarily reccomend going to the police
if you don't feel like you can handle it but there are good reasons to.
Pro's:
Possibilty to call the asshole out, call him what he is, get some sort of justice.
Some find it cathartic to label the perp for what he is.
And some find it empowering and a way to take back control.
If convicted can help keep him from doing this to another person
Though there are plenty of cons:
Having to relive it and tell it to the cops, the prosecuter, and potentially to a court with a jury, and your parents will have to know.
It is also stressful to wait for the phone calls to let you know what is going on with the case, and when you will get the phone call saying you have to testify.
He might be acquitted, or plea to some crap charge that gets no justice.
If it does go to court you will most likely be dragged through the mud, called all sorts of names and the defense will try to either say you are confused, or that you are lying.
And it is painful having to relive it and wait.
I have done both, reported it to the police the first time, then when I was sodomized i decided not to file a formal complaint. However despite what you decide to do I SERIOUSLY reccommend telling someone close to you because it is hell going through it alone. Trust me. The first time I didnt tell ANYONE for a year and I was miserable. Telling people, or rather having people find out gave me people to lean on when I couldn't stand on my own, and I still have a hard time dealing but I have a support system. I also reccommend seeing a counselor. Check for a domestic violence group or sexual assault counselors in your area at
Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network, (rainn.org) they also offer a phone an online hotline if you feel more comfortable doing that. But your parents would be good people to turn to for support because they love you. And I am sure they would want to be there for you.
You have
nothing to be ashamed of. I know it is hard to see it that way but you didn't do anything wrong. Despite whatever situation you were in beforehand,
whatever the situation, there is
ABSOLUTELY NOTHING YOU COULD HAVE DONE TO DESERVE TO BE RAPED. NONE. What he did to you was horrible. But it is his fault, not yours. He made the decision to commit such a dreadful act of violence. He is the monster. Not you.
I am always here if you want to talk. Feel free to Private Message me. I will listen and I will support you in whatever way you decide to handle this. I will not judge. I have been there and understand what it is like.
Always,
Becky
also you should go to your doctor or a free clinic or the hospital near you and ask to get tested for std's and the like.
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