hey all i need is some help here. I have had a girlfriend for three years now and i am 17 years old. just recently i have begun to question my sexuality because when i tried to have sex with my girlfriend i could not stay hard for some reason. At first i just thought it was me being nervous but then i started getting a lot harder on myself and convincing myself that i was gay. I have never had a fantasy about guys or done anything with guys, except for when i was about 8 or 9 years old cuz i did not know any better. i love doing things with my girlfriend such as eating her out and everything, and i am pretty sure i love her because i love being around her and when i am not that all i think about. But this whole gay thing is haunting me. i just need some advice from people who might have had the same experience, and maybe help on getting these thoughts out of my head and stop thinking that i am gay and quit being so hard on myself. Also is it weird if i think some guys are hot, but i would never want to do anything with them its more like i am jealous of them cuz i want to be like them so i can get girls easily. PLEASE HELP

i dont think your gay cause you dont have any ga fantasies ur just nervous or thinking about other things when it comes time to shag

i cant really help with the sex thing, no experience there. when you say you think some guys are hot, that could mean two things. straight guys may know when other guys are hot, they just don't feel attracted to them. analyze your jealousy- if it is really the feeling of attraction, it doesnt matter whether you would do anything with them, that's a matter of social programming regardless of your actual orientation. if it is attraction, at this stage it would probably be coupled with anxiety about the feeling itself, and could be hard to distinguish from jealousy.
hope this helps

maybe you're bi-curious?

Impotency?

Do you smoke?

~~

Wait, impotency would mean you couldn't get your "shaft" up at all..
Hmm, test yourself on this, try getting close with a gay male, and see if you feel a connection. Who knows, maybe that is the style for you?

My advice: Try kissing another male. A male, who would be willing to do it, of course. See if maybe, you feel a certain connection to this person. Do not be afraid to get experiment, my friend. Who knows, maybe this could lead you to a more pleasing sex life?

First of all no i am fine i do not really want to hook up with another guy. But i keep on getting these thoughts that i am gay and what my life would be if i was and i hate that feeling its terrible. Not saying being gay is bad i am just saying that its not the life i would want to live. But no i got it up but when i was putting the condom on everything just changed i began to breathe heavily and got very nervous and began to think that maybe it was not good enough or something. I am very attracted to women and this whole incident has been messing with my head, but i do not know. It has also been messing up my sex life with my girlfriend cuz that all i can think about is maybe i am gay and it kind of depresses me. The other comments have helped a lot and think you. Just would like more now that i have stated more.

Oh and Runner. Its not an attraction its that i know that the guy is hot, not like i want to do anything with him. Is that normal?

i read somewhere that nobody's completely straight ^^
but i definetly don't think you're gay.
I mean a lot of people question themselves at one point or another and that's all you're going through. you're fine, but worrying about it won't do you any good.

I'd say bisexual. Or it could just be feelings.

yeah i know i should not worry about it, so how should i get it off my mind. recently all i have been thinking about is my life if i were gay. And the occasional sex scenario with a girl in my class just to get me thru the class. a lot of people question their sexuality?

I do.
I am ever so confused with sexuality myself. I think i'm bi one minute, then gay another, then towards straight another.
I think you just feel if you are bi though, by your feelings towards the same sex.

here's a good article
okay. so i'd post the link but i guess i haven't posted here long enough to do that -_-
so lets try to spell it out lol

sexualityandu DOT ca SLASH teens SLASH orientation DOT aspx

get it? got it? good.

i say youre still straight

and no, you are not wierd for thinking some guys are hot... i do that all the time. i always think to myself about how lucky he is to have good looks, and how popular he is just because of what he looks like...

and maybe you are going soft becasue either,
a) you are nervous, but you don't feel them or don't believe they are causing the problem (hard to explain)
b) you aren't aroused enough... maybe the situation just isn't making you horny. maybe you just don't feel "in the moment". maybe changing things up a bit will make it better

i say youre still straight

and no, you are not wierd for thinking some guys are hot... i do that all the time. i always think to myself about how lucky he is to have good looks, and how popular he is just because of what he looks like...

and maybe you are going soft becasue either,
a) you are nervous, but you don't feel them or don't believe they are causing the problem (hard to explain)
b) you aren't aroused enough... maybe the situation just isn't making you horny. maybe you just don't feel "in the moment". maybe changing things up a bit will make it better