Please Help Me Out .. Sexual/Psychological Problems

cookies881 · 02-14-2008, 02:36 PM

Hello, I'm new here, and here's my story, hope you can help me out.

Ever since puberty began, my whole life has changed. I used to have really high grades at school, a good social life and a really good personality. But since then, I became kinda depressed, we moved to a new house which killed my social life, I always stayed at home, always thinking with myself, I started to hate myself and gaining weight and so on..

Then in about one year, I became more confortable with my situation, I went on a diet, lost the weight, started to make more friends, and through that I discovered that I'm bisexual. At first I tired to cross that from my life, like ignoring it, but I couldn't. And I was at that time really unconfortable with my body, I kept hating myself, and I still do. I started watching gay porn, but I promised myself that I wouldn't tell anyone about this for it would ruin my whole life, for I live in a society where this is totally unacceptable.

Adding to that, about 2 months ago I met a person that's a couple of years older than me and that went through what I went through. At first I didn't tell him that I'm bi, but later on I did and he was really helpful, for the first time I felt that someone understood me, I felt like I'm on the top of the world, it was an awesome feeling!
Later on we suggested to try having sex, not all the way through, just oral sex. At first I was nervous about the whole idea, but when he approached me I got really into it and loved it. But then something happened, I couldn't achieve an erection. I can assure you the problem was not him, he was really hot, but I wasn't nervous anymore, then why wasn't I "horny"?! Anyway we finished and I still didn't get an erection, I just thought that it's the first time, it's natural, but the second time we tried it the next week, and the third time about 2 days ago, still the same problem.
Ever since that happened, I felt really depressed again, I hated myself more. And it got me thinking, could it be that if I'm not accepting my body, my body wouldn't be ready for sex? Adding to that I got really attached to this friend, he was the most important person in my life, but I felt that he didn't share that feeling, I felt like I'm just a minor addition to his busy life, I'm still feeling that I couldn't add anything to his life, for he has it all. It could be just me, maybe I'm always blaming myself for everything, I don't know.

So what should I do?
Thanks In Advance For Any Help

Roflcopter · 02-14-2008, 05:46 PM

did u ever do stuff with any other guys beside this one older friend?

cookies881 · 02-14-2008, 06:25 PM

no, this was my first time

Roflcopter · 02-14-2008, 06:58 PM

Well maybe u get horny over guys cuz its sexual things that get u horny but when u actually get to act upon it u dont really like it cuz ur not bi?

Just a guess....

cookies881 · 02-14-2008, 07:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Diageo

Well maybe u get horny over guys cuz its sexual things that get u horny but when u actually get to act upon it u dont really like it cuz ur not bi?

Just a guess....

I didn't quite get what you're saying, but we started making out for about an hour and I really enjoyed it, and I was horny then. But when he wanted to stroke my dick, *poof* it was gone

and it never came back

Roflcopter · 02-14-2008, 07:47 PM

maybe ur nervous, or not into those sort of sexual practices yet even though u want them, when u actually get to them u feel ur not ready....

cookies881 · 02-14-2008, 08:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Diageo

maybe ur nervous, or not into those sort of sexual practices yet even though u want them, when u actually get to them u feel ur not ready....

Hmm I see, I guess you're right..
Thanks

Silo · 02-15-2008, 06:46 AM

Aw I guess ur satisfied with his answer but I am just curious now:

Chiefly; Uh wow. That sounds like my life all wrapped up in a ugly piece of newspaper. Sans the guy...your lucky in my opinion. I can't muster up enough courage to ever tell anyone I was bi (

in my case.... ); backstabbed too many times. Also why I don't make firends anymore. But I digress.

First off, how MUCH older is he? And how old are you?! Because like if your anywhere in my age range and he is anywhere I think he is; this guy just wants you for sexy time. I personally wouldn't mind ,but you might want a relationship right???

And I guess subconcious ideas could be the solution but, have you ever pursued a hetero relationship (you said your bi right)? If you were able to engage in any kind of sexual interaction with a girl without shirking from it, maybe your not as into "it" as you thought.

MissSrhG · 02-15-2008, 07:04 AM

This may sound stupid but...you said you were making out for about an hour and ur were horny well amybe by the tine u's got round till some action that ur didnt feel horny no more!! xx

Silo · 02-15-2008, 07:11 AM

LOL Yeah I don't think that is even possible for a guy to de-horn after a make out session without the aid of finishing or being nervous when they got to the action. LOL

Oh, and wouldn't making out for a whole hour have calmed your nerves? That is a long time.... Like a million people worldwide died in that time span. LOL

cookies881 · 02-15-2008, 08:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Silo

Aw I guess ur satisfied with his answer but I am just curious now:

Chiefly; Uh wow. That sounds like my life all wrapped up in a ugly piece of newspaper. Sans the guy...your lucky in my opinion. I can't muster up enough courage to ever tell anyone I was bi (

in my case.... ); backstabbed too many times. Also why I don't make firends anymore. But I digress.

First off, how MUCH older is he? And how old are you?! Because like if your anywhere in my age range and he is anywhere I think he is; this guy just wants you for sexy time. I personally wouldn't mind ,but you might want a relationship right???

And I guess subconcious ideas could be the solution but, have you ever pursued a hetero relationship (you said your bi right)? If you were able to engage in any kind of sexual interaction with a girl without shirking from it, maybe your not as into "it" as you thought.

I'm 16 .. he's 22 .. and I'm not nor I was seeking a relationship as in dating a guy...
First off he added me with a fake email cuz he have never told anyone he's bi either. Anyway through this email he told ppl he's bi but with a hidden identity, and he thought i was bi when he added me, but i told him i'm not and we stayed friends cuz i accepted him. Then months later stuff happened, he told me how could I trust you to tell u who I really am? I told him if we shared a secret, then I guess you'd trust me. So I told him I'm bi too and he told me who he is, then we decided to meet. First time we met, he suggested to try something, I kinda wanted to, and we started slowly, then we did it.
Complicated story I know

, but when making out I KNOW I wasn't nervous anymore, that's why it's really weird how I wasn't horny anymore when we moved to the next step. And off course the second time and the third time should be easier, but they weren't. And I know it's nothing biological for I'm still masturbating normally.
Now concerning the sexual identity, I'm attracted to both females and males but I prefer males. I've never had any sexual interaction with a girl before, and he was my first.

MME1122 · 02-15-2008, 08:39 PM

Maybe your just curious, not actually bi. And your mind wants to try this but its not like it is in your head. You could still be figuring out what you really want.

asoiafdude · 02-15-2008, 09:03 PM

I think it may be part of you hating your body. Sometimes if you hate yourself, your body starts to not work as well as it would. I think it's all psycological. You need to start accepting who you are, and what you are. If you seriously think you're bi, and you seriously enjoyed making out with him, then chances are you are bi.

The not getting an erection I think is just a performance problem. Not quite sure how to fix it, but like I said before I think it could be that you just need to accept your body and who you are.

cookies881 · 02-15-2008, 10:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by asoiafdude

I think it may be part of you hating your body. Sometimes if you hate yourself, your body starts to not work as well as it would. I think it's all psycological. You need to start accepting who you are, and what you are. If you seriously think you're bi, and you seriously enjoyed making out with him, then chances are you are bi.

The not getting an erection I think is just a performance problem. Not quite sure how to fix it, but like I said before I think it could be that you just need to accept your body and who you are.

Hmm but how can I love myself .. it seems kinda hard

People tell me I look good, but I don't really see that .. I could right now write you a list of 10000 flaws of my body and my personality...

asoiafdude · 02-15-2008, 10:29 PM

Flaws are what makes us human. Everybody has flaws; I could list of 100 flaws myself. But you have to be able to accept it, and just move forward. Nobody is perfect, and you shouldn't try and think that you're any worse then anyone else. It takes time, you just need to be like "Okay I'm flawed, but who isn't? What am I good at. What makes people like me."

If that guy was kissing you, then he must like something about you, right? Maybe ask him what he likes about you and focus on that and ignore the things you don't like about yourself.