Hey guys, I've been wondering for a looong time what my sexuality is. Sometimes I think, hey don't label yourself! But sometimes I just get so lost in confusion that I think it'd really help if I knew!
I haven't really had a proper relationship and that's my choice. I play sport and something happened between an older guy and me, he knew I had trouble expressing myself as a person, including my sexuality and well basically reality was knocking rather harshly on my door and I escaped.
Everytime I've been with a guy I have been bored out of my brains, and I thought I really liked them! When we're just kissing, it's boring, or feeling me up, it's boring. They're clumsy. I just don't feel anything at all.
Then I look at a girl and I feel as if I want to get to know her better. I watched a movie a few weeks ago and had no idea it involved lesbians, but I felt 'hello I like that' sort of thing. And I read a book describing intimately about two women (fingersmith by sarah waters I think, I'd recommend it to anyone! Though not my Grandma...) I just felt such an adrenaline rush.
Sometimes I think is it admiration? I think I have personality problems, I don't really know who I am, I get really down and tired alot, even though I do alot of sport etc. I just don't know anything and am hoping someone has taken the time to read this message and get into my head and let me know what I'm feeling. Even when I hold a guy's hand it feels clumsy, but a girl's fit's just right. ? If I were to say I was a lesbian, what if I wasn't? What if I had this sudden urge for me too? Is it because I have dis-engaged myself from anyone that I feel this way? Is it my fault?
Blimey I hope you have the patience to read all of that.
Help from a sinking ship.
Sophia

Well, you probably like girls, thats it. I don't think that means your a lesbian though, this just might be a phase.

Either that or the guys you've been with are so bad at it. haha (:

You may just be going in a certain time in your life.

I've thought about it for year... since I was little! I always thought about girls... I just don't know though. What do I do?

I thought every girl felt that way..

guys are akward anyway xD

I feel the same about girls. But I know I am straight.

There is certainly something more exciting in being with a girl for some reason. I used to question myself as well. And I still don't get it. But I'm comfortable with that. The way I distinguished myself as a heterosexual is thinking in terms of a relationship. I don't think I could have a relationship with a girl, but I could with a guy.

That may not help.. but we all have to find our own way of figuring it out in the end. Maybe you could enjoy the challenge for now. Being open minded to both is a good thing in my books :]