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Old 01-13-2010, 11:44 PM   #1
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First Time Fail, Lacking Arousal

Alright thought I'd share my first intimate experience and get some feedback, so me and my really good friend decided to hang out yesterday, now I'm a complete virgin and I haven't even been kissed. She and me are laying down in a dugout in a baseball field in the middle of winter and it's freezing so we get real close and cuddle a bit, and then she kisses me for the first time in my life, and it felt strange, not what I exactly expected, but I liked her and she looked adorable so I thought awww. Then she reached into my pants and felt me up well we made out a little. I started going a little tense and I started trembling, and she always finds this cute.

So we got back to her car (I don't drive yet) to warm up and get me calmed down, and she then tries to give me a hand job, it felt good at first, but I'm not used to the grip and she jerked away from my body and I usually do it parallel to my body, I told her all this, but I still couldn't get off to my amazement. Then she actually bent over to give me what I think was a BJ, it felt interesting yet dull, but it was only on the tip it seemed and she nibbled it every now and then which brought a tingle of pain, I was heart broken to not be able to get off to something that I've fantasized for so long about, why the hell didn't I just melt right there. My tip is also one of the least sensitive parts of me so that might explain something.

She had given me some condoms because I had mentioned before about how I'd never fooled around with one, I was amazed that she would, but she whispered in my ear to ask me if I wanted to try one out right now after she failed to give me another hand job in the back of the car. Her skin felt cold and rubbery, and I never got a full erection probably half was most I had, I only got the head in, and it kept slipping out, and I was exhausted holding myself up over her in such a tight space, and I was barely turned on. I eventually gave up and tried fingering her which I think she said gave her 2 orgasms.

So I hope she doesn't thinks she can't turn me on properly now, all I wanted was to show her how much she turned me on, and I failed , and I feel like my body failed me, and everything felt so mediocre it seems. All I remember is the mushy wet lips, and the smell of latex, lube, and dry spit.
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Old 01-14-2010, 12:28 AM   #2
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Re: First Time Fail, Lacking Arousal

Well that sucks. Maybe she's not the one? Maybe you're gay (If you're lucky lol)? I heard the first time is always the worst and some people even say sex is overrated. I'd just get over it and move on.
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Old 01-14-2010, 12:29 AM   #3
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Re: First Time Fail, Lacking Arousal

There's a chance you were probably just incredibly nervous. Going from doing absolutely nothing, to attempting sex, that's a lot to try in one session. Next time it might not be so bad. Hopefully you can relax. Just give it time. Good luck.
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Old 01-14-2010, 12:44 AM   #4
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Re: First Time Fail, Lacking Arousal

Yes she was moving it a long pretty fast, and all these new sensations where kind of making my head spin, and it was hard to concentrate on the new sensations like that.

I was so nervous she could see me trembling often.

Just sucks thinking about actually being able to lose my virginity, but when I was laying there it felt like I was standing at the bottom of this huge mountain, and I'm like no way I'll make it. I guess I enjoyed the romance, so I could look past the no sexual satisfaction thing.
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Old 01-14-2010, 12:46 AM   #5
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Re: First Time Fail, Lacking Arousal

Yeah, you were probably just nervous. Next time, go at your pace. Do what feels comfortable.
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Old 01-14-2010, 03:09 AM   #6
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Re: First Time Fail, Lacking Arousal

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Originally Posted by FalseReality View Post
Alright thought I'd share my first intimate experience and get some feedback, so me and my really good friend decided to hang out yesterday, now I'm a complete virgin and I haven't even been kissed. She and me are laying down in a dugout in a baseball field in the middle of winter and it's freezing so we get real close and cuddle a bit, and then she kisses me for the first time in my life, and it felt strange, not what I exactly expected, but I liked her and she looked adorable so I thought awww. Then she reached into my pants and felt me up well we made out a little. I started going a little tense and I started trembling, and she always finds this cute.

So we got back to her car (I don't drive yet) to warm up and get me calmed down, and she then tries to give me a hand job, it felt good at first, but I'm not used to the grip and she jerked away from my body and I usually do it parallel to my body, I told her all this, but I still couldn't get off to my amazement. Then she actually bent over to give me what I think was a BJ, it felt interesting yet dull, but it was only on the tip it seemed and she nibbled it every now and then which brought a tingle of pain, I was heart broken to not be able to get off to something that I've fantasized for so long about, why the hell didn't I just melt right there. My tip is also one of the least sensitive parts of me so that might explain something.

She had given me some condoms because I had mentioned before about how I'd never fooled around with one, I was amazed that she would, but she whispered in my ear to ask me if I wanted to try one out right now after she failed to give me another hand job in the back of the car. Her skin felt cold and rubbery, and I never got a full erection probably half was most I had, I only got the head in, and it kept slipping out, and I was exhausted holding myself up over her in such a tight space, and I was barely turned on. I eventually gave up and tried fingering her which I think she said gave her 2 orgasms.

So I hope she doesn't thinks she can't turn me on properly now, all I wanted was to show her how much she turned me on, and I failed , and I feel like my body failed me, and everything felt so mediocre it seems. All I remember is the mushy wet lips, and the smell of latex, lube, and dry spit.

So you had your first kiss and first sex in same evening? That's rather unusual. Lot of things here seems weird (give me what I think was a BJ ??)
You can't have intercours if you don't have full erection.
It's sad that you remember just the smell of latex, lube, and dry spit, sound like pretty bad experience.
She came twice from fingering? That's absolutely fantastic result for a rookie like you, so you should be happy about that. You'll probably cum another time - if you enjoy sex at all, because what you said doesn't sound primising.
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Old 01-14-2010, 04:55 AM   #7
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Re: First Time Fail, Lacking Arousal

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So you had your first kiss and first sex in same evening? That's rather unusual. Lot of things here seems weird (give me what I think was a BJ ??)
You can't have intercours if you don't have full erection.
It's sad that you remember just the smell of latex, lube, and dry spit, sound like pretty bad experience.
She came twice from fingering? That's absolutely fantastic result for a rookie like you, so you should be happy about that. You'll probably cum another time - if you enjoy sex at all, because what you said doesn't sound primising.
Yes it was weird, specially for someone as socially awkward as me, well my tip was so dry I could barely tell the difference between rather she was just kissing it or sucking it, and it was hard to see, but oh what a sight it was when she was licking. All I remember is a slight warmth it seemed.

Yes I know that, I got a few erections, but I just wasn't in the mood, I couldn't keep them for more then 10 seconds it seemed, It fell asleep in her hand a little. I had masturbated twice the night before and it was earlier in the day when we met.

Well I did enjoy her feeling me up, it was very romantic, and it was nice to hold her in my arms, and just because it wasn't fantastic doesn't mean it was bad.

Yeah made me feel better slightly, and also upset that I couldn't enjoy myself like her.

You gotta realize I was laying on a very narrow back car seat with the door open (it was snowing outside) to give us room to stretch, nothing to grab on to hardly, it was not the best location to enjoy sex. And I'm sorry to her that I'm not like every other guy who can get in the mood in seconds.

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Old 01-14-2010, 06:53 AM   #8
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Re: First Time Fail, Lacking Arousal

it sounds like that was far from the right time for you to be messing around with a girl like that. you need to be comfortable with a girl, friend, to kiss, to sex in one night is WAY to fast. the fact she sorta pushed everything means you weren't entirely sure what you wanted to do. if she still seems into you, then great. just take it a little slower maybe.
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Old 01-14-2010, 09:02 AM   #9
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Re: First Time Fail, Lacking Arousal

Yeah I'm going to definitely let her know that she needs to go a little slower next time, maybe let me set the pace, even though I've always liked the idea of a girl leading the way. If there is a next time... but those issues are for the D&R section.

I was really just curious if my situation was common or not, it seemed like it is. I guess I'll just tell her that my only regret is that I couldn't make love to her properly due to anxiety but she made me happy , and I got to feel boobies haha.
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Old 01-14-2010, 03:34 PM   #10
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Re: First Time Fail, Lacking Arousal

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Yes it was weird, specially for someone as socially awkward as me, well my tip was so dry I could barely tell the difference between rather she was just kissing it or sucking it, and it was hard to see, but oh what a sight it was when she was licking. All I remember is a slight warmth it seemed.

Yes I know that, I got a few erections, but I just wasn't in the mood, I couldn't keep them for more then 10 seconds it seemed, It fell asleep in her hand a little. I had masturbated twice the night before and it was earlier in the day when we met.

Well I did enjoy her feeling me up, it was very romantic, and it was nice to hold her in my arms, and just because it wasn't fantastic doesn't mean it was bad.

Yeah made me feel better slightly, and also upset that I couldn't enjoy myself like her.

You gotta realize I was laying on a very narrow back car seat with the door open (it was snowing outside) to give us room to stretch, nothing to grab on to hardly, it was not the best location to enjoy sex. And I'm sorry to her that I'm not like every other guy who can get in the mood in seconds.
Eeven if she kissed or licked your penis it's oral sex. She doesn't have to suck it or do deep throat to make it BJ.
You know, guys have rigts too to tell they are not in the mood, or if girl is going to fast. Especially when unexperinced like you.
And not every guy can get in mood in second.
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Old 01-14-2010, 05:34 PM   #11
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Re: First Time Fail, Lacking Arousal

woah, too fast, thats the problem!

---------- Post added at 10:04 PM ---------- Previous post was at 10:02 PM ----------

You need to slow down, its okay to be nervous, if i had my first kiss and first time sex at the same time id be terrified..
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Old 01-14-2010, 05:38 PM   #12
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Re: First Time Fail, Lacking Arousal

id say u were nervous i would have been
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Old 01-14-2010, 05:54 PM   #13
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Re: First Time Fail, Lacking Arousal

yeah, just nerves. next time will be better. Of course, a car's not the best place to be comfortable either if you don't know what you're doing. (Sounds like she's never given a blowjob before either)
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Old 01-14-2010, 10:10 PM   #14
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Re: First Time Fail, Lacking Arousal

Thanks guys, it made me feel better reading your responses, and yeah I wonder if she's never given a BJ before also (I'd hate to ask and hear about some other guy she got off sucking him off, I'm a jealous guy lol), because nibbling was just not working haha. She was so close with the hand job despite my knees being bent, wish she wouldn't have given up on me, well first time it was actually because some guy was approaching the car so we drove to a different deserted spot, second time it was because she just wanted to get straight to intercourse.

Another problem with all this is there is an upwards bend in my penis when I get erect and I'm worried it will be hard to get it in the right position without hurting her and me, plus when it is outwards it is hard to hold an erection and the sensation seems to be weaker.

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Old 01-14-2010, 11:10 PM   #15
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Re: First Time Fail, Lacking Arousal

like everyone else said, going way too fast. Me and my gf had been making out and getting each other off a few months before oral, and then sex. That may seem like ages, but we were both inexperienced and virgins, felt like the right pace for us anyway. i'm not gonna lie because she was bad at handjobs at first, but why would she be amazing right away if she's never touched anyone? Now she gives them better than i can do to myself. I think this girl you're with is probably inexperienced herself, sex takes practice and is nothing like porn. Plus the whole arrangement seems really awkward with the cold and the car.
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