Coming out advice?

    • Coming out advice?

      Hey guys, I'm a 15 year old guy, and just came out to one of my good friends (she's a girl) as bisexual. So far she is the only one that knows, but I hope to bring it up with my other friends as I hang out with them. It was actually a lot easier than expected, she just said "Oh okay :)" and we went on as if nothing happened; it was great. Do you have any advice for coming out to some of my other friends? I don't want to broadcast my sexual preference to everyone, but at the same time I don't want it to be a secret anymore...

      Thanks :)
      Simon

    • Re: Coming out advice?

      It's a given that some of your friends will take the news better than others. Make sure you have an idea of how they might react and tell the ones you think might be accepting or comfortable about it. For the rest, try having another friend with you there to act as a sort of mediator.

      People can surprise you, though. I was afraid that a handful of people I know would take the news badly but they were perfectly okay with it! Just make sure you know what you're getting into and don't feel like you need to let the whole world know before you're ready. Best of luck!
      Women upset everything. When you let them into your life, you find that the woman is driving at one thing and you're driving at another.
      -G. Bernard Shaw (Pygmalion, 1913)

    • Re: Coming out advice?

      Yes I am definitely scared to tell anyone...

      I am not sure about the rest of you - but my friends are great people, but they are not tolerant of L B G oriented people. Heck, I am even uncomfortable to write the word in a forum myself, instead using "L G B"...

      They are good friends, but I know I will lose most of them if I said anything. Same goes for the family. For this to so drastically change my life - I am wondering if all of this is worth it at all.

      As for age - I think it is irrelevant, as the pain (inside) that it causes a 5 year old... to a 15 year old... to 25 year old etc, is the same for each person. I think we are all hurting inside.

    • Re: Coming out advice?

      JackG wrote:

      Yes I am definitely scared to tell anyone...

      I am not sure about the rest of you - but my friends are great people, but they are not tolerant of L B G oriented people. Heck, I am even uncomfortable to write the word in a forum myself, instead using "L G B"...

      They are good friends, but I know I will lose most of them if I said anything. Same goes for the family. For this to so drastically change my life - I am wondering if all of this is worth it at all.

      As for age - I think it is irrelevant, as the pain (inside) that it causes a 5 year old... to a 15 year old... to 25 year old etc, is the same for each person. I think we are all hurting inside.

      If your friends can't accept you for who you are then they aren't true friends, are they? Nor such good people.

      I'm sorry that you see homosexuality as some kind of painful curse, I enjoy being gay, some would even call it a gift.

      I think age IS relevant because 15 year olds shouldn't be sexually active thus it's not yet important to let everyone know of their sexual orientation, simple as that. Sure, if you feel comfortable telling your friends, go for it, but I don't think it's so important whether you do or not.

      The post was edited 1 time, last by Hitopopamus ().

    • Re: Coming out advice?

      Hitopopamus wrote:

      If your friends can't accept you for who you are then they aren't true friends, are they? Nor such good people.

      I'm sorry that you see homosexuality as some kind of painful curse, I enjoy being gay, some would even call it a gift.

      I think age IS relevant because 15 year olds shouldn't be sexually active thus it's not yet important to let everyone know of their sexual orientation, simple as that. Sure, if you feel comfortable telling your friends, go for it, but I don't think it's so important whether you do or not.


      I hear what you are saying.

      No one is perfect, but my friends are great people. Even good people disagree.

      I am also sorry to feel that it is some kind of painful curse. I think I need to get over it myself. I just do not know how. It is eating at me inside since I was about 13. I am very tired.

      I am not sexually active (at the moment) - but I would not mind being able to date someone I actually am attracted to. However, most kids these days are sexually active before they hit high school.

      If you do not mind me asking - why do you say it is a gift, and at what age did you come out and say it?

    • Re: Coming out advice?

      JackG wrote:

      I hear what you are saying.

      No one is perfect, but my friends are great people. Even good people disagree.

      I am also sorry to feel that it is some kind of painful curse. I think I need to get over it myself. I just do not know how. It is eating at me inside since I was about 13. I am very tired.

      I am not sexually active (at the moment) - but I would not mind being able to date someone I actually am attracted to. However, most kids these days are sexually active before they hit high school.

      If you do not mind me asking - why do you say it is a gift, and at what age did you come out and say it?

      I would not at all say most kids are sexually active before high school, only a very small fragment of them are, and if you ask me it's just wrong for 15 year olds to have sex.

      I don't think homosexuality is a gift. Nature chose me to be this way, for god knows what reason. I have no complaints, I like being gay, but what hurts the most is how the world seems to not accept gay people as much as it should, but I don't let it eat me up from the inside. I'm confident in who I am and they can't shake off my balance.

      The post was edited 1 time, last by Hitopopamus ().

    • Re: Coming out advice?

      charliebi101 wrote:

      hey, my names charlie, im 16, bi. i want to come out to my 17yr old brother this week but i desperately need some advice.

      thanks


      When I came out to my sister I txted her:rolleyes: Srsly it's kinda cowardly but she wouldn't stop nagging me about why I broke up with my girlfriend. Then as soon as I saw her next she was all like "srsly?" and I was all like "srsly" and then we laughed about it and that was that.

      She's a huge support for me cuz when I need to rant about boys and my friends are busy she's there to chat. It'll probably be easier than you think coming out to your brother. Could always go for a drive and just blurt it out. Don't think to much about it when it comes down to it because then u won't.

      Hope it helps and best of luck:)
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    • Re: Coming out advice?

      man, if your friends don't tolerate lesbians they're gayer than you are


      Personally Ive never given any thought to this cause Im straight, but I wouldnt shout anything from the rooftops, if someone asks, tell them the truth, thats it. It's not like you have to show up and yell "I LIKE COCK" to all your friends, plus if they're going to be weird about it, it makes it a lot less awkward if your subtle.
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    • Re: Coming out advice?

      To be honest, there is no one way to come out. It really comes down to you blurting out the words "I'm <insert sexual orientation>."
      You just have to calmly tell them, while they have your undivided attention and they don't have any other serious worries (this is important, they will take the news better if they aren't under emotional stress).
      You also have to be ready to face the consequences that comes with it, which is normally rejection and ridicule, especially if those you come out to are religious and/or homophobic.

      But if you think of it from a different light, your sexual orientation is really none of their business. That is how I think of it. But it is really up to you. Just be selective who you tell now, because you don't want the news to spread around like wild fire if one of your friends is a loud mouth.

      Good luck man :)