My sister is 19 (I'm 17) and she's been going on this ONLINE VIRTUAL CHAT place called GAIA. You get to dress up your own little character and walk around with it in a VIRTUAL WORLD and talk to people. Well, she's been on this place for over a year now and apparently has a "boyfriend" on there. he claims he's 16 and they would message eachother frequently. I have several concerns: 1) this guy could easily be a creepy middle aged guy or something 2) my sister is TAKING THIS RELATIONSHIP WAY TOO SERIOUSLY; he told her he loves her and cares about her and was coming to our city from california for an alleged atv competition so wanted to visit her. My sister got all excited and went out and bought him a bunch of stuff and made him a gift basket and she gave him our HOME PHONE NUMBER AND ADDRESS so he could visit!!! he never showed or answered his phone when he was on this trip to our city. My sister is EXTREMELY SHY AND QUIET so she doesnt have many real friends and she's also has a slight learning disability which affects her common sense(NOT KIDDING). When Ive tried to talk to her about my concerns she freaks out CRIES AND YELLS. Ive CAUGHT HER CRYING ALONE in her room and she's EXTREMELY DEPRESSED because she believes we dont care about her and her feelings. Also I FOUND A HOW-TO ON COMMITING SUICIDE ON OUR COMPUTER saved (when i asked her she didnt say anything). Im extremly concerned and dont know what to do. My parents are completely useless and will only make the situation worse(really). Also he hasnt been on this Gaia website in a looong time and she blames us for driving him away (we banned Gaia from our home computer) ive asked her what kind of guy would look for a serious relationship on this type of place and that ITS NOT REAL and she's putting way more into this "relationship" than he is and tht should be a clue, and that she NEEDS TO FIND REAL-LIFE RELATIONSHIPS with boys and girlfriends. What should i do to make her forget about this FAKE UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP? P.S she has already tried to run away but we found.
HELP!! scared for teen sister online "relationship"
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The thing is:
- You should let her outside and play under the sun, to meet people , in real contact instead of virtual char. She might be better.
- Secondly, you need to discuss the matter with her seriously, but just little by little, try to tell her that love happens when you see the person in real, not from just chat. -
The first part, sounds like me a few months ago, so I don't think I should give my opinion on that but this:
sisterhelp17 wrote:
Also I FOUND A HOW-TO ON COMMITING SUICIDE ON OUR COMPUTER saved (when i asked her she didnt say anything).
It might be a cry for attention, maybe she wants help dealing with her problems and this is the only way she knew how to ask for it. I think that if she really wanted to kill herself then she wouldn't have saved it. -
ok a few things to note:
1) yes those type of relationships can be a bit weird, but there is nothing wrong with long distance relationships, if your having webcam chats with the person everyday, talking to them on the phone, sending them gifts in the mail etc, they can be very nice and very real.
2) finding the how-to sounds like a mistake a suicidial person wouldnt leave, they would make sure nobody would find it, but in any case you should keep an eye on her.
3) she sounds very depressed, you should have big talk with her, or get somebody else she trusts to talk to her about it, and then get them to help her, and maybe take her to the doctors and get her therapy and put on some anti-depressant drugs, when people get past a certain point with depression, they wont reach out for help and they will just give up on themselves, thats when you really need to push to help them and 'save' them.[CENTER] [/CENTER] -
I know you said your parents would make it worse, but if she's contemplating suicide you have to tell them.
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no offence but it sounds like ur sister has obsession issues but u are right and i can understand your concern for her as she is your sister
i would just convince her to forget about him or if you feel comfortable try and hook her up with one of your guy freinds and see what she says
try this it may work and then she will forget about the man she thought loved her online
i hate online relationships they sucki am a proud supporter of gay pride as i am bi-sexuali love my girlfriend Amy with all of my heart
i love meeting and talking to new ppl so if you wanna chatt feel free to pm me:gay::lolz: -
i love the way you are taking care of your sister.
firstly i'd suggest you to befriend her. this might be tough but this is v important.
i dont have any siblings but i have a few cousins with whom im more friendly with even than my friends and share almost everything of ours. one of the cousin is even married and has a 5 year old daughter but still we are all VERY FRIENDLY.
this really helps because its like having a close friend who knows everything about you and its also in the family. so even if an issue comes up with your personal life, you get both your friends and family at the same time.
so if you think your explaining of the virtual relationship situation is making her feel depressed. then leave it for a while and try to be friends with her. and i think then you can make her understand your point. and do take her out often. if she doesnt have a lot of friend, she is getting one now, YOU. so take her to parks, food shops, shopping and other places yourself. she will feel a lot better.
cheers -
The site is banned from the computer and he hasn't been on it for a while? Well that seems like a good thing. I'm not saying long distance/online relationships are bad, because their not. It just sounds like that guy was not who he says he was as you said. I think if he's not active for a long time, and eventually doesn't come back things will calm down in time. Possibly a lot of time.
I know you've already tried talking to her, so I'm not going to suggest it again. If you want to keep trying, great. But if you feel it will get you no where then no need to push her anymore. She already is against you on this, so don't risk losing her anymore.
In my opinion, she needs some help. Some sort of psychologist or therapist of some kind. Talk to your parents about this. Tell them what to do. If you feel they'll make it worse, tell them "I know my sister, and this is what is best. You have to trust me on this." She needs to talk to someone, someone she can learn to trust. Right now it's not her family. So a professional would help greatly.
Also, as was said before, you need to befriend her. I think if you were to take her out places where she can meet more people it would help her a lot. Expand her social life to more people, and possible boyfriends. Gaining her trust and friendship again may also take time, but after a while, it should come back. Tell her how she's your sister, and you want things right between you two again.
I hope this helped. It's so good that you're caring about your sister this way. I'm hoping you're getting her the help she seems to need because of all she's going through. Good luck.[LEFT][SIZE=2]"Adapt and Overcome"[/SIZE][/LEFT]
[RIGHT]"Funny how the truth sounds so cliche"[/RIGHT]
[RIGHT]~Jack Ingram[/RIGHT]
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Destroy your internet connection lol.
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Here's my advice.
- Don't let her go on the internet. AT ALL.
- Make her get real friends. Go out. Do something fun!
- Make her happy. I don't really think the whole "boyfriend" thing is the issue. She just wants to be happy and/or loved.
- She may need real help so call a doctor or something.
Hope this helps.
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