Why can't I have him?!?!?!

    • Why can't I have him?!?!?!

      Well the story is very long so to make it short; in my first year of high school I met this guy in school and we became friends and somewhere between our talks, jokes and laughs I fell in love which let me lie to him stuff about me. And when he found out he was pissed off and said that I'll always be a liar so he can't trust me anymore.
      A year has passed and I'm still in love with him, I've tried so hard to get him. We don't talk anymore, but I do everything to let him notice me. I don't understand why he won't just talk to me again or notice me?? Everybody says to me that I'm beautifull and deserves a better guy. But if I really am beautiful why won't he notice me? Is there any other explanations? What to do please?? This has really ruined my life and made me depressed.. I don't wanna be in love anymore, it's so hard.
    • Re: Why can't I have him?!?!?!

      you shouldnt have lied... that was your fault no matter how pretty you are. he has every reason to not trust you no matter how much you love him. once you betray someones trust thats not a very easy thing to regain. sorry but it seems like you shot yourself in the foot on this one
      F.i.L.A Forever.I.Love.Atlanta


    • Re: Why can't I have him?!?!?!

      Exactly what Kevin said. Once you have lost his trust, it doesn't matter how good looking you are, he's not going to be interested in you. With as along as it's been, I don't see if there really is any coming back from the point you are at. He obviously is quite firm in his stance that he doesn't want to have anything to do with you, which makes me think that whatever you lied to him about must have been pretty serious.

      I call the spot you are in right now a "trust deficit", you are actually trusted less by him right now than you were when the two of you first met. You need to make up all of that before you can even think about even starting over again. Chances are that you won't get the chance though, if there was a little bit of movement on his part, it's possible he might be open to trying again, but if there's not, then anything you do is going to be futile.

      I'm just hoping that you have learned an important lesson from this. Things could have been different if you hadn't lied to him.
    • Re: Why can't I have him?!?!?!

      It's first year of high school meaning you're both young, meaning if you lie about who you are and he caught you, it's pretty much "why do I want you in my life if everything we were doing wasn't you?"

      I had a girl lie to me for 2-3 years, maybe more. It's something that you'll never ever ever Ever solve on a physical level. He sees you and thinks about how you lie, not how you look. If you ever want to talk to him ever again, you'd have to explain yourself Completely, why you lied, how you feel, and even then he may not talk to you still. Breaking trust is the biggest turn off possible.
    • Re: Why can't I have him?!?!?!

      Must have been a lot of bad lies then :/

      I think it is natural to tell little lies or big things up when trying to impress someone, but it depends how big and how many you told.

      Give things time, he'd be the one regretting things probably if he holds a grudge against you for ages.
      The World is heading for mutiny, when all we want is unity.
      We may rise and fall, but in the end, we'll meet our fate together!
      One. Oh One. The only way is[SIZE=4] ONE.[/SIZE]
    • Re: Why can't I have him?!?!?!

      Kevmo7 wrote:

      what did you lie about and why did you feel the need to lie?

      Looks only get you so far remember and normally if you do something big to turn a guy off, looks will NEVER make up for it.



      I lied to him about various stuff, but I think the biggest one were my nationality. A "friend" also told him stuff about me and made me look worse, by saying that I'm not a virgin etc. I don't know why she even told him all this. :/ I truly regret my lies, I'm really in love with him... he makes me hate myself and cry all the time without he knowing... though when he found out he asked me why I lied and I told him that it was because I loved him, and he said if I liked him why fuck this up by lying? :/
      So what you guys are saying is that I should just give up?
    • Re: Why can't I have him?!?!?!

      What I want to know is WHY you lied, so you wont do it again.

      Why did you lie about your nationality? about your virginity etc?

      I think atleast for now you need to give him space, guys normally need a 'cool down' time after something like this goes on, just to get everything together, so I suggest you do that for now
      [CENTER] [/CENTER]
    • Re: Why can't I have him?!?!?!

      Kevmo7 wrote:

      What I want to know is WHY you lied, so you wont do it again.

      Why did you lie about your nationality? about your virginity etc?

      I think atleast for now you need to give him space, guys normally need a 'cool down' time after something like this goes on, just to get everything together, so I suggest you do that for now


      Well I guess I lied to impress him, because he was so proud of were he came from, mine and his nationality are VERY close, it's the same country just different kind of "peoople" if you get it. And yeah, I didn't think I was interresting enough or something, and I loved him which made me so dump. I''m not a person who lies about stuff, but perhabs because he was my first love and yeah...
      Well a year has passed now so I think he got enough time.. he just hates me for lying? I thought looks could help with anything when it comes to a boy and him knowing that I love him....?
    • Re: Why can't I have him?!?!?!

      wow ok, a few things.

      If a guy doesnt find you interesting or likes who you are when you tell him the truth and about who you truely are, then you two arnt meant to be together, full stop.

      Another big thing, its been a year, he has most likely moved on now, I was under the impression this was quite a fresh thing but I think your chances are pretty slim now, if he hasnt changed his mind in the last year, i dont think he is going too.

      Lying is a BIG deal, you cant say 'he hates me just for lying' because lying destroys relationships, it is a very big deal, to anybody, not just guys, you should never lie to the one you love, at all.

      Lastly, looks cant help with everything, that is so far from the truth, you cant think 'well just because im hot and he knows that i love him, he is gonna get with me' its like wow you missed out this massive thing called personality, and sure looks will get you part of the way, maybe 1/4 but the other 3/4 are personality and what you bring to the relationship.
      [CENTER] [/CENTER]
    • Re: Why can't I have him?!?!?!

      Kevin hit the nail on the head. :)

      And I have to be honest here - this is just proving how young and immature you are. Looks really aren't that important once you become attached to someone. You're a freshman in high school, you're not "in love," just get over him. You really messed it up - you lied about various things and lying is just AWFUL. I will never want someone who lies/who I can't trust. Of course he's angry with you, why should it matter what you look like? It doesn't mean he's going to come back to you for it. If someone goes back to someone just cause of their looks, then they're just stupid.
    • Re: Why can't I have him?!?!?!

      Lying is a sign that you're insecure with yourself. Lies will eventually come into the open, if you were together then sooner or later he will see the real you. As for the not knowing what love is..... I really don't have a clue what it is.
      The World is heading for mutiny, when all we want is unity.
      We may rise and fall, but in the end, we'll meet our fate together!
      One. Oh One. The only way is[SIZE=4] ONE.[/SIZE]
    • Re: Why can't I have him?!?!?!

      Uh no....
      he doesnt make you hate your self.
      Well first of all, the main reason why you want him IS BECAUSE you cant have him. Psychology 101.
      You created your whole world around him and now you see only him, think about only him, hate your self for not being good enough FOR him....so no wonder you want him so much. He is the only person who "exists" for you. That is the mistake right there. I mean sure you are gonna tell me you notice other guys from time to time but to you they are just people whereas the guy you want, you made him into a god.
      Another reason why you cant stop thinking bout him is because you keep thinking: "oh what if i didnt lie thing would have been different" "what if" "if i only" etc etc etc.

      You did make a mistake of lying to him...so I can kinda understand him. If you want any chance at all at AT LEAST becoming friends again, then the obvious thing to do is come up to him and explain to him why you did what you did. Dunno if that will change anything...depends on him but alas....that is the only clear cut and possible solution.
      The King of Mind-Fuck
    • Re: Why can't I have him?!?!?!

      @DeamonD: I think you're right! I actually fully agree with you, the fact that I can't have him must have played a huge role! And I do consider him as a god compared to others.

      And thank you for the advice! I'm a bit afraid though. He does laugh when people are joking with me, or when I tell a joke or something. Doesn't it mean that he's a bit open now?
    • Re: Why can't I have him?!?!?!

      Nitrat wrote:

      @DeamonD: I think you're right! I actually fully agree with you, the fact that I can't have him must have played a huge role! And I do consider him as a god compared to others.

      And thank you for the advice! I'm a bit afraid though. He does laugh when people are joking with me, or when I tell a joke or something. Doesn't it mean that he's a bit open now?


      Yea, I do not think he is that angry (if at all at you) but I still say do not let it hang over your head you know. At least this way he will see that you admit the fact that you were wrong and are mature enough to admit it. At least that will clear your name in his mind, you know?
      The King of Mind-Fuck