pregnant and suicidal

    • pregnant and suicidal

      i am 21 weeks pregnant, having a girl, her name is going to be Erikkah-Sol Alessandra. i have been very suicidal the past couple weeks. i have not cut though. i have been having wicked bad anxiety attacks. and almost cut earlier today. i dont have anyone to talk to. i live on my own. my boyfriend and i broke up when he found out i was pregnant, that is when i first started to be suicidal. i did cut at the beginning of my pregnancy. but havent since. my DR knows that i have suicidal thoughts, and he tells me to relax and try and sleep, because that is the best thing for my body right now. i can never get to sleep. and i rarely sleep at night. i am depressed to the point sometimes i do not want to even eat. but i force myself to eat because of Erikkah...

      i know that Erikkah feels what i feel. and i do not want her to hurt like i am.

      any thing from anyone will be appreciated. thank you... :(
    • Re: pregnant and suicidal

      it sounds like your boyfriend was a complete waster. have you any family or friends that you can get support from? they would probably be a good bet. also, theres no need to cut yourself, its not a hopeless situation. try distancing yourself enough from it in your mind so that you can focus your energies on grabbing the situation by the collar and refusing to let yourself drown in a sea of problems. you can do it. ^^
      You can stick your decomission up your ass

      Proud to be an Irish Bloodhound
    • Re: pregnant and suicidal

      thank you. :)
      and my family is the reason i am in an apartment. and since i moved to florida, i have no friends yet... :(
      i stayed up all last night, and thought about everything... i am excited to be having a baby. and that it is a blessing. :) i may go back home for a lil while... idk if they will let me though.
      i just need to keep thinking things through... :)
    • Re: pregnant and suicidal

      Hello :)

      It seems to me like your doctor is assuming that you have the typical pre-natal depression, and that it will blow over with just sleep and whatnot, and your therapist is giving the usual answers that they have, through their training and experienced, realised seem to work with minor cases. However, I have been through self-harm and, in my past, suicidal thoughts, and - well, other things similar to you, we'll say. One can only truly understand a situation like this when one has experienced it themselves - I'm not saying I know more than a therapist or a doctor, all I'm saying is that those who are wise learn from the experienced.

      Now - there's not really any available medication as far as I know - and if there was I wouldn't accept it in your situation. The fact that you're pregnant limits this a lot. But we know that there's not that medication will do right? And let's face it, the normal "get some sleep", "listen to some music", and "take a walk" aren't exactly helping much either. Now, I do think that you should continue with these things, but I think that more things must be introduced on top of those in order to help you get through this difficult time. I know that what you are going through is difficult hun, and we will get you through this :) And hey, if you want, you can come back here regularly and give us updates, so that we can give you further advice through the stages, and help you get through this step by step. You can contact me through private messaging or the Support Leader Private Section if this is the case.

      Okay, well you seem to be all right with resisting the urge to cut, which is in itself a great achievement, and you should feel very good for this. Now, suicidal thoughts don't just disappear - depression comes from a cause. There is something in your life that you are lacking at the moment and you need to replenish it in order to restore balance to your mind, especially during the stressful time of being pregnant. (By the way, all due respect, but your boyfriend was an ass for leaving). Now - every person has their basic needs first of all. Food, drink, sleep, shelter etc - I'm sure you have all of these already, so that's a start. On top of this, you need to have some form of financial income that sufficiently covers your living costs overall. So you're fine so far.
      One clear problem is the fact that you have recently moved to a new area, and you have not yet met anyone. I think that you should in fact get out and socialise as much as you can - socialisation alone may indeed help you to diminish your depression to a certain extent. The human mind requires us to be noted and belong to a particular group as one of our needs, and therefore socialisation is essential.
      Next, you need to do things to keep your own self-esteem up. It doesn't matter what it is, just try to make little achievements in your day-to-day life, look back on your past successes, and look into the future and where you plan to be soon with any accomplishments that you wish to make. This will help you, because they give you hope and enthusiasm, which is a key aspect against depression.

      Now - sleeping problems. So, you're lying awake at night thinking about what's wrong right? Well, you need to find good ways of getting yourself tired and asleep. Reading before bed always helps. You may wish to purchase some olbas oil too - this is a kind of oil that you use to clear a blocked nose and stuff, but if you rub a few drops on your forehead, a tiny bit below your nose, and some on your chest, then it will give a nice sensation and definitely helps to sleep at night. On top of this, hot chocolate or horlics (sp), or some other form of warm, milky drink can help you feel drowsy as well.

      Now - if you ever find yourself in a heightened state of stress, then try what is actually a form of meditation - but...not. You see, when life feels complicated, then you must go back to the most basic aspect of life - breathing. This enables you to focus. So; lie back in a quiet place, perhaps on your sofa or bed. Open a window and let a cool breeze through. Just lie there, completely silent, and breathe. Breathe in through your nose, for three seconds, out through your mouth for three seconds. In for three seconds, out for three seconds. Nose, mouth. Half way through take some of that olbas oil I mentioned (you should be able to purchase it from a pharmacy), rub a little under your nose, and carry on breathing in. Don't think about what's bothering you, don't think about the suicidal thoughts, concentrate with all your might on the three seconds of each breath. Through concentrating so hard on it, you'll put the problems to the back of your mind, and by breathing slowly and steadily like I described, you'll slow down your panic and you will focus and calm yourself. Trust me, it works.

      Now, long-term. Like I said, you need to start socialising more, and you need to find some form of support for you and your child; whatever that support is, make sure that it is continuous and positive in every way. You're going to have a tough time ahead, albeit for the blessing of a child, and you will need as much support as you can find. Also, whatever has happened with your family, you should try to fix it, or at least ignore it for a short amount of time, and if possible get them to do the same, so that you can have them on your side as well.

      Don't forget, if you ever need more advice to get through all of this step-by-step, then contact me or one of the other support leaders, and show them this piece of advice, so they'll know that you're in need of further and consistent help.

      I wish you the best of luck.

      Much love dude.

      ~Anastasia Mikhailovishna Salikhova.

      P.S my congratulations on your soon to be little girl :) I truly wish you the best of luck - you have chosen a beautiful name for her :) <3 x
      [FONT="Book Antiqua"][COLOR="Purple"][CENTER][I]
      Heaven hath no rage like love to hatred turned,
      Nor Hell a fury like a woman scorned.

      Post was edited 1 time, last by Northern Prophet ().

    • Re: pregnant and suicidal

      Don't give up on whatever help is out there, even if the right help hasn't come along, don't give up! With the current situation you're in, i'm sure you are aware that handling a child is going to be a massive thing here. The sleeping situation, your depression and the recent things that have occured in your life will most likely affect handling this child without support and help. I'm definitely not saying that you wouldn't be a good mother, however as you'd understand this child would start to pick up on the surroundings and how it's mom is etc. A good doctor will refer you to someone for support through your first months of the pregnancy, it must be difficult the first months of the child being born, and i'm sure the actual pregnancy itself can affect some women's hormones and make them feel like how you are. But yeah, keep up with the support, someone out there is right for you and will be there to help you.
      Even those you're close with!
    • Re: pregnant and suicidal

      thanks everyone!!!!! VERRRRRRY much. :)
      i have been more calm today. slept for a couple hrs. ignored my Ex calling me 10 times, shut my phone off. :P
      i have two new friends!! :P met them at babies r us. one just found out she is pregnant, and the other just had a baby.
      the thoughts are still there, but when i hung out with the other girls, they were gone.

      i bought a Prenatal Listening System. it also has a small screen where i can see her. sortta like an ultrasound. i can listen to get heartbeat and see her. worth the money, wansnt too expensive :) the sound of heat beating makes me very relaxed.

      if anyone wants to know more, if i dont make updates on here, add me as a friend (think you can do that on here. lollz) or message me :)

      was going to write something else, but forgot what it was.... >_> lollz
    • Re: pregnant and suicidal

      Firstly, I admit I mostly skimmed through the thread since it's late and I really should be asleep. I just wanted to say I'm glad to see you're feeling better. =)

      I'd also like to point out...

      xxcollie21xx wrote:

      but when i hung out with the other girls, they were gone.

      I smiled when I saw that. Making new friends seem to have a positive effect on you. Why not hang out with them some more, try to make new friends etc?
      All the best to you and your baby. :)
    • Re: pregnant and suicidal it bothing you?

      Your ex sounds like an idiot to me. X(
      My advice would be to just forget about need to stay strong for yourself and for your baby right now hun. Just focus on keeping yourself healthy, keeping the baby healthy and eating properly, and keeping joy in your life.

      Like how you went to the park today, that did sound fun. :D
      So just keep yourself surrounded by friends and people who will support you. :)
    • Re: pregnant and suicidal

      he does bother me a lot since we broke up. he admitted to things that i had no idea about (i will not touch upon them because they are somewhat personal.)

      i do not have many friends, the only friends i really have are the two girls. and also my neighbor who lives in the apartment next to me. he comes at night because he is worried about me. he saw my post on here. lollz. so he stays the night. i have a huge bed soo i dont mind. he keeps me company. and my ex called last night, and daylin answered and told kyle(my ex) to eff off and leave me alone. and that he (daylin) is there for me because he(kyle) is not. i was asleep when his happened... lollz

      i think the girls and i are going to the park on tuesday again. idk. i think i have a dr's appointment...
    • Re: pregnant and suicidal

      Honestly...I don't believe in having many friends. Having only one true friend is a lot to be thankful for. :)

      So keep talking to those girls and hopefully they'll turn out to be good friends. If not, there's a whole world of people out there- literally. To me friends are so so important. I love my friends to death, it's great to have someone to talk to, to lean on and to just have fun and share laughter with. You could also join some stuff in your community (I'm not sure what sort of stuff they'd have where you live), but obviously it'd be things you could do while pregnant. You're sure to meet new people that way.

      I think it's nice that Daylin is concerned for you, and is being supportive. It's always good to have someone looking out for you...

      I wouldn't recommend missing the DR appointment..maybe talk to them and schedule it in a way so that the time you go to the park doesn't clash with the appointment?
    • Re: pregnant and suicidal

      yeah i know... i would never miss a dr's apt.

      daylin is here. he says HI. lollz.

      the girls obviously understand what i am going through, with the apt's... haha. sooo its not a problem working around them.

      and i have only been in this apartment about 2 months... havent been out too much. been resting. i have been sick lately.... kept getting sick... i think i am getting sick again. been getting sick to my belly... :(