To be patient, or pro-active?

    • To be patient, or pro-active?

      So here we go.
      I met a nice guy here on TH and we started talking, etc. It turned out he lived very close to where my sister lives so we got to see each other a few weeks later. At this point we both had very big crushes on each other. He pretty much confirmed my fears(? lol) that I was bi, and due to our talking his mother found out he was too. This made it a bit more difficult for us to meet because he is 18 and i'm 16, though he is a senior and I'm a junior.

      Well a few days after we saw a movie he starts talking to me less. After a few weeks I'm reaaaally stressin' out and ask him what the flip is wrong. He says we should wait until he goes to college to even try anything like a relationship. He is going to a University an hour and a half away, which is much closer to me than where he lives now.

      I live in a very small Texas town with one other "out" guy (who is gay, flaming, and ANNOYING). I have pretty much dated every girl I would want to in my town, and guys seem like a good idea right now, but I honestly don't know where I could find them...

      SOOOOOOOO
      Should I just wait for this guy to go to college and see if that works, or should I actively seek for guys in my area who I could date? By the way, only two people who are my friends know I'm bi, my parents CAN NOT know, and i'm Christian, but my church doesn't really approve of homosexual relationships so I can't come out right now. lol

      Yeah, it's hard to read. For some reason tabs aren't working. rofl

    • Re: To be patient, or pro-active?

      SMOKE. wrote:

      I think it's liberating. No stress, no worries, just live till you die and make the best of it.


      I'm only 15 and you're filling my head with thoughts of death :( not coolz..

      And @ Trizzle, sorry I can't contribute to your gay finding issues.. I'm gay but I really don't go looking for other gays. I wishfully dream about the right guy coming along, but this is no fairy tale.. sadly..

    • Re: To be patient, or pro-active?

      trizzle wrote:

      Just a bit... lol Also, I guess I should add, does anyone have tips about finding bi/gay guys? It's not like they're crawling out of the woodworks.


      Well I live in Liberal-land. I mean California, so it's a lot easier to find out guys for me than for you in the Bible Belt of the South.

      Krasseevaya;2715094 wrote:

      [CENTER][SIZE=3]I kissed my best friend.[/SIZE][SIZE=3][/SIZE] [SIZE=3]But she was high, and I just wanted to see if she tasted like chocolate cake.[/SIZE][/CENTER]

    • Re: To be patient, or pro-active?

      OverlyCreative wrote:

      I'm only 15 and you're filling my head with thoughts of death :( not coolz..

      And @ Trizzle, sorry I can't contribute to your gay finding issues.. I'm gay but I really don't go looking for other gays. I wishfully dream about the right guy coming along, but this is no fairy tale.. sadly..



      ---------- Post added at 12:04 AM ---------- Previous post was at 12:02 AM ----------

      trizzle wrote:

      lol lol lol My town has maaaaybe 2300 people and OVER 30 churches. :P But enough Bible belt semi-hatred. I would like to find another gay/bi who is a Christian... But yeah, being lonely; not a good thing. :/

      I'm not trying to fuck with you (no pun intended) but you should probably just drop the christian thing.... whatever happened to just being a good person?
      If not in your own beliefs, then in what you're looking for. That's my advice.
      I mean lets face it, most christians are very...not gay or VERY far in the closet. I'm from Texas by the way.
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    • Re: To be patient, or pro-active?

      SMOKE. wrote:



      ---------- Post added at 12:04 AM ---------- Previous post was at 12:02 AM ----------


      I'm not trying to fuck with you (no pun intended) but you should probably just drop the christian thing.... whatever happened to just being a good person?
      If not in your own beliefs, then in what you're looking for. That's my advice.
      I mean lets face it, most christians are very...not gay or VERY far in the closet. I'm from Texas by the way.


      Well the guy I met on here is a Christian also, so he kind of spoiled me. lol And to me being a Christian isn't just being a good person. I'll just say I couldn't abandon my beliefs because I genuinely believe them.

    • Re: To be patient, or pro-active?

      that's why I said or in what you're looking for. While I have a bias being a very anti-christian, very straight person myself, I think I can make an educated guess that I wouldn't be a fan of a religion whose members generally hate gay people ( which is why I mentioned being from Tx) if I was gay. Which leads me to that say I was a gay guy and you come up to me and you're doing the gay-guy-who-might-be-straight-hitting-on-me thing, I'm thinking "wow, this is awesome, what if that guy totally wants the cock?" then you mention your christian and I think "holy fuck, lucky I didn't ask if he was DTF, this guy would have attacked me or some shit!"


      I'm not trying to insinuate that you shove it down peoples throats, I'm just saying being gay and christian doesn't make sense at all to me, and it may be fine for you but trying to find another christian gay guy is no doubt going to be a journey and a half. Finding another gay guy that isn't a devil worshipper? probs a lot easier.
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    • Re: To be patient, or pro-active?

      I always thought Christians were the major homophobe type people. Never once would I assume that a Christian would be gay, but of course I can't judge all of them based on the feelings and beliefs of a few... but when so many of them flaunt their hate for us you began to think that is how all of them think -- closed minded and somewhat ignorant.

      I rarely even meet gay people face to face.. It's so frowned upon by everyone in high school that even if someone is gay they definitely won't be displaying it to the world.
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    • Re: To be patient, or pro-active?

      Smoke, quick question, if you are straight, why the hell are you in the LGBT forum? Unless you are a supporter (and judging by other posts, I seriously doubt), then why are you here?

      OverlyCreative wrote:

      I always thought Christians were the major homophobe type people. Never once would I assume that a Christian would be gay, but of course I can't judge all of them based on the feelings and beliefs of a few... but when so many of them flaunt their hate for us you began to think that is how all of them think -- closed minded and somewhat ignorant.

      I rarely even meet gay people face to face.. It's so frowned upon by everyone in high school that even if someone is gay they definitely won't be displaying it to the world.


      Some people realize that not everything the Bible says is true. Like many other religions, Christianity can not be observed in a single fashion. Thus, the reason why you have so many denominations. Everyone has a different opinion. Some believe that Moses (who wrote majority of the Old Testament) was inspired by God, others believe he was nothing but an idiotic goat farmer who was smoking something dodgy.
      Other way, morality back then is different to now. People back then were able to beat their wives without consequence and stone people to death.

      And you're not alone, most people in my school (which is a single-sex school, might I add) are so incredibly homophobic.

    • Re: To be patient, or pro-active?

      I'm sorry, but maybe this is something you may want to discuss with the other party. That way you get his feelings into consideration. If you live in the same place, won't he have just as much trouble finding a boyfriend/partner/ whatever you call yourselves as you do if you bail on him entirely? you guys don't have to have a relationship, whats the difference between a bf(boyfriend) and bf(best friend) anyway?
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    • Re: To be patient, or pro-active?

      To Blur>>

      Yeah, I suppose you are right. We've talked a bit, and I don't really think he has a problem with me dating someone because we aren't an item. I just don't know if I should try and find someone... Though, I'm leaning heavily toward staying single. It just seems like trying to get a significant other right now is waaay too stressful. And I guess I'm also just confused because I don't know if being bi and where it may lead is something I'm totally comfortable with right now. Thanks for the advice.

    • Re: To be patient, or pro-active?

      Hmmm veeeeerrrryyy interesting thread I must say... Well first of all this guy is probably freaking awesome I mean it sounds like he just rocks. I'd suggest not giving up, I mean why does your relationship with him have to be so specifically defined as bf&bf? It sounds like he is trying to keep life as normal as possible until the right time for you two, so getting into another relationship could hurt your chances with this guy later because it could show your flakiness